I liked you
I sometimes still check your Instagram
I almost liked a post

I liked you
I'm lonely
Sitting in this place
With this phone

I don't want to date you again
It was right that we parted ways
I like that we did so with so much respect and kindness.

I don't want to date you
But sometimes I look at your Instagram when I'm lonely
And wish everything was not as it was
So that we could be what we aren't

To the unloved children of the dark streets
I don't hate you
I can't judge you
I walk past your crumpled form
Sandwiched in the crevice with an old sleeping bag
I have only empathy
I can't fix you
I don't even know what needs fixing
Maybe you just need money
Maybe it's deeper

I lack the resources to fix the world
So that you and others aren't sleeping on the street
I'll give you food if I have it
Sunblock in the summer to protect your vulnerable skin
A coat in the winter
I can help protect your physical body
From the assaults of nature

I wish I could soothe your soul
I know in my heart that we aren't that different
But, I try very hard to never be you

I knew a man who was not me
Not the whole specifically
Or not the me that you would see
Who youd call you
If you were sitting next to me

This man I knew
Was an I of mine
I had my mouth
My eyes, my hair
I had my legs and arms
And the body that I liked
But the I, I knew
As I said was not me
This I thought that he was better than the I I am
This I, didn't have the extra 12kg that existed when I wasn't posing in the mirror
This I, I knew only said witty clever things
Never mean, or petty
Nor plain mundane
The I, I knew was faster than, the I I am and stronger to
This I was always perfectly kind and considerate to all of my friends almost all of the time
The I, I knew was wise and kind and smart and worked harder than everyone else at work
And was interesting and handsome
Oh I wish I was the I I sometimes think I am
But there are many I's inside of me
And many eyes are watching me
And I'm only him sporadically
I am only always ever me
But still sometimes
I take myself too seriously

I saw you
Older than you were before
I like your new lines
They speak of strength continued
I'm sure I'm not the only one who sees
Please, continue being strong.

Sometimes I am the teeth
And sometimes I am the tongue
Sometimes I am the earth
And sometimes I am the sun

At times I sit in the dark of the world
And stare at the multitude, burning fires
Wondering after the flame
Other times I become the kindling
And in turns embers and the Ash

One day I saw a bird
And wished I was its wings
Beating the air for purpose

Sometimes I am the water
And sometimes I am the fish in the water
Other times still, I am the emptiness of space
Am I a fish there too?

How sweet the small perfume scent sits
And wafts across the bar
I see your gentle smile and the makeup that you use infrequently
How you must smile
When you put it on
I hope you have a wonderful evening

I want to wrap you in my love
But first I must make it

With the first look in your eyes
As soft pools reflecting the eternal light of an old sun.
You are kind
And I will take your kindness
As a needle and thread
To weave together the pieces of you and I
As stars in the sky
And the dark velvet of joy
That is between us

I will weave it into a warm blanket
That is my affection
To wrap around you

I want to love you intensely
Completely,
Unreservedly and deservedly
I want to love you, because I know you
And not for what I imagine or wish

I want to love you with an intensity that lasts the decades and generations in which we will age and decay
Beyond the thin veil of infatuation
Beyond attraction, beyond convenience
And the mediocrity of compromise and loneliness and fear

I want to love you bravely, fearlessly and wisely

I want to adapt myself to it
Change and alter the pieces of me that are inadequate and
Grow into someone
Who is perfect at loving you

I hope that I am worthy to love you

And I hope that you are worthy of this love