I write such pretty words
About the ones I've sort of loved
I used to think I'd be like Joni Mitchell
And love all the beautiful men
With their beautiful voices
And their beautiful souls
I've gotta get me a singer in the park, dancer in the dark
A ***** word thief to mirror my own heart
Funny how life goes exactly how you don't plan it
Or if you were prepared for that
It will go according to plan but taste like splenda
Sticky, fakesweet
Me, I'm riding steady on the latter
Sometimes getting sadder
And barring that time when I was sixteen
All the loving never felt like love
Not all the way
I don't mean to degrade those salty days
I've got a headful of memories that I'd never trade
I don't know what I'm thinking when I say the love I make could be better
Maybe because I've never been made stupid, never really been played
Which is to say that I've never actually gone all the way
Never settled or sacrificed anything I couldn't get back
Most of me is always tucked away
Escaping only in blinding bursts that leave everyone involved a little scared
I don't remember how to temper myself
In relation to anyone else
But I remember every time I've realized that something wasn't what I wanted
I'm **** good at falling out of it
And writing lots of stupid poems about it
I've watched too many people rip each other apart with it
Felt it start to rip at me
Of course I'll never let that happen
I'm the first to advocate divorce
But some days I get really worried that I'm not capable of anything more
It's not that I'm broken
I just have really,
Really
Good boundaries
Maybe I'm lying, scared and selfish
Going against my own mind
I know I've felt bliss
Once I felt infinite
But that was a different me, all soft and made of clay
This me, pushing out these particular words, well
I've never been in love
I'm always a little bit in love

for once
i am the frog
and not the scorpion
all i have ever done
is love you
i thought you
loved me too
but if you had
you would have never
ever
said that
because you know
how hurt i am
you know
that you were like a mother to me
you know
how much you just
hurt me
and that makes it all the more painful.
i put my trust
in no one....
cast not your pearls
before
swine

you're failing
you're failing
you're failing
says the desk
the paper
the pen
you're failing
says the professor
how's class going
says dad
fine.
great.
good.
fantastic
i reply

time to close the knife
let it take your life
another night
you have to do
what is right
for everyone else
you'll be
fine

if i could see
what is hurting me
i'd tell it to stop
for the love of
god

One could Absorb your Stubborn Skies depend
Always in Place your Giggley Heart beseech
Though the News deny what we Comprehend
A Diversion cast her Arm within Reach
So who am I to blight these Palms interfere
Shake lots for Stones which analyse your Weight
And in her Notice lift Pebbles from Fear
To ensure both your Equal Tendons does freight
And just as well when your Timing will strike
Then purchase all your Experiences thereof
To lift this Altar; Rich in Offerings like
Then admit to her Moment's Heat so Soft.
I said I could. Though such Commitments break
If for the Mind my Week's Training forsake.