Everything is perfect,
and nothing makes sense.
One half-silly smile,
a split second knowing glance
and you’ve lifted me from the ground,
freed me from the laws of man and earth.

And just because of that,
I’m afraid to love you.

It’s not your fault.
Don’t blame yourself.
It’s me.
I’m afraid for you, and I’m afraid for me,
but I still feel my pulse racing
the instant you appear,
a tingling that starts in my fingertips,
then shoots up my body,.. a pulsating lightning bolt
that splashes into my mind
and explodes into.. hot.. blinding white light.
A buzzing, stomping insistence that I recognize
the affect you have on me.
I’m left short of breath, eyes wide, dizzy
and suddenly, longing for your gentle touch.

Chaos inside
I am everywhere
and nowhere.
I am limitless yet tethered
I am willingly losing control
but the fear balances on my edge…
I cannot lose control, again,
and the confusion makes me afraid.
Afraid to love you.

I know
if I let myself
I would be with you forever
which is much longer than a lifetime.
I would take all my choices, my dreams, my fear
and set them at your feet
my.. gifts of sacrifice for the only one
for who I would give my life

I would confess to you my joy
and hide in you my pain
for I know that you would view
each with a critical but loving eye,
You understand that I’m not the perfect man
that I pretend to be
you’re ok that sometimes
I’m not even up
to being me.
You accept me as I am.
You’re the only one.
It feels so right,
which is exactly why
I’m afraid to love you.

Still, I see it in you.
I’m not that blind.
I can see what I’m afraid to see.
You’re eyes shine when I talk to you
of simple things.
You’re breath catches in your throat
when you’ve made me smile
I make you laugh… You make me laugh.
At little things and when we’re angry.
When I am near you
I feel as though I should sing.
I wish for nothing
except our songs entwined.
I feel you tremble at my lightest touch.
You are a dove
unfearful of my captive embrace.
I belong to you,
and you to me.

Oh God, help me
because that’s exactly why
I’m afraid to love you…

… but I do…

Many things enchanting
convey no meaning,
even if you think-
there indeed is something.
Isn't it bit frustrating?

Life springs surprises on us
this is how it is:
strangers, meet at some point,
find love, and become sweethearts.
Isn't it wonderful?
Then, you sometimes wonder
why, the opposite also should happen,
without any rhyme or reason?

It's such a pain, death of love,
doubt, difficult times of strife,
we loose all we gain,
you have enough time, consider this:
precious genes get eroded and be gone.
A river.You watch with a fervor
not easy to express.The flow
makes one exhilarated beyond words.
And then comes summer.Drought
The flow now, is a story told in the past.
Water now becomes scarce.Trickle
The story drastically changes.

We've been in love, I remember,
even the thought, gets me rejuvenated.
Dead trees become active,
new sprouts appear, sap flows with vigor,
leaves regain the lovely green smile.

This too happen as a rule,
tired leaves turn brown,
slowly they let go and fall down,
become one with the earth.
Transform in to nutrients
in a chemical change.

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour,
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour
When you have bid your servant once adieu.
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of naught
Save where you are, how happy you make those.
    So true a fool is love that in your will,
    Though you do any thing, he thinks no ill.

Things that blow,
The wind following your body’s beautiful curves, yet you hate anyone associating the word ‘beautiful’ to any part of you.
Your voice isn’t naturally low or manly like Joe’s. You wanna be like him, but Joe-Shmo that’s not what you deserve. You deserve you.
You stare at yourself in the mirror, thinking that the image should be clearer, thinking that instead of nearer, how you feel and how you look couldn’t be further apart. And it breaks my heart, you didn’t get what you need, and you’re falling apart, wanna depart, want a restart switch… And the best suggested alternative is a cut and stitch.

Stop telling yourself how much you hate yourself and stop saying it's your fault, stop having bad thoughts and try to see some good, there are still things to live for, stop hurting yourself stop scaring me with your goodbyes stop running with scissors stop playing in the traffic stop saying you'll finally do it  
... Live.

I don’t understand all that you go through and I know you don’t expected me to. But I do know pain, and I’ve dealt with confusion. I understand that this life you live seems like an illusion. This body you deplore because it’s not really your’s. When trying to be yourself starts feeling like a chore. When it’s just easier to tell yourself you’re done for.
But I’ll tell you, if I was in a candy store, and you were a candy with a hard outside-gooey core, even if your exterior didn’t completely match your true interior, I’d still pick you. Because you’re sweet.
It wouldn’t matter how messy you might be or how awful you think you must taste,
as long as your fingers were interlaced with mine, you’d be my cup of tea.
As I hold my tea cup’s waist and look at its reflection, I can see warmth and affection. Rejection and self-protection. I can handle a little messy and Darling I will let you know exactly how you ******* sweet imperfection.

And when you stare at yourself in the mirror, this time, I’ll be there, blowing the wind across your body’s natural, handsome curves.