If you really want me
to wander the world
by your love,
don't you worry
I'll be walking with you
in a heartbeat.

I should have taken all the warnings,
I should have foreseen this mourning,
I thought i could have trusted you,
But now I'm lusting for you.
Your just causing me to be blue.
I thought you were different from the rest,
I thought you had shown some interest.
I guess i was wrong and now your gone.
I don't know what i had done,
I don't understand this green monster I've become.
I don't want to live life like this,
I would just like to be bliss.
Be genuinely happy for once,
Instead I'm making myself the dunce.
Complaining over what never was,
Thinking that i am always the cause.
Wandering if it was me, i wish i could see,
Could see the monster I've turned into.
I wish you could see what I've been through,
All the mountains and valleys I've overcome.
If only you had added it up, taken the sum,
Looked deep into the real me,
Saw what i was trying to do, what i want to be.
I wanted one meager chance,
You had me hypnotized, in a trance,
You had me from our first glance.
The way i had made you smile,
The way you had seen past my vile,
The way i could make you laugh,
But now all i see now is a wrath.
Anger engulfing every square inch,
I feel as though I'm in a pinch.
Time is not on my side for long,
I only wish i could stay strong,
These feeling are probably false,
They are probably all in my mind, a lost clause,
A darkness inside of me grows,
It is filled with my sorrow and woes.
If only the light would shine through,
If only i could stop being blue,
I want my angel to shine bright,
I dont want the darkness in flight.
All i ask is to find some blissness,
To complete the pursuit of happiness.
Is that really so much to ask,
All i want if to complete my endless task

Nightmares bring forth my minds deepest worries
They unleash unknown evil I want not
Dark demons,  an evil creature scurries
A beasts breath is on me and it burns hot

As I feel myself sink into dreamland
Terrors in the night wake and walk about
Afraid evil will touch me with its hand
I feel fear well up and I start to shout

Weight of emptiness crushing me to tears
A shadow of death looks down so vivid
Lurid evil feeds on my minds worst fears
A sharp faced demon bares teeth so livid

As I slowly begin to awaken
I see relieved, my life isn't taken

I nearly tore myself into a million
Billion little pieces so many times
Was on the brink of something
So destructive too many times
As I see this happening,
This thing with no one caring about
What scarring remains
I hide them quickly, carefully
Too much experience at it
But I hide it away, quieten it
For another day. Damp the pain
So when I'm alone, I can let it return
Let it shake my soul, my will power
At two in the morning, I wish
That I could just let it be for just
A moment so that I can rest for
Forever and a day. My thoughts
They strike too close, do not try
And understand. I would just like
To be given a hug, warmed over
By something as trivial as a smile
What I would not do for someone
To see me for a change but now
It hardly matters, because you
They don't see me
They never did anyway and
I would be ****** if I allowed
Myself near such people ever again
I had rather become a wallflower
Dead on my eighteenth birthday
Discovered lying in a pool of my own blood
My entire life's work burning alongside
Don't blame yourself mom, don't
Blame yourself dad, not you either brother
This was my decision. In the end, I was
Too weak and it was only the thought of you
That kept me here till today.

A child, oh to not understand death
whisper in the wind
feels like forever, mere fractions of moments
alas, life is not long enough
to behold every wonder the world has to offer
wishing to be a child forever
dancing in innocence
what is there to bring woe
for a child does not understand death
life blossoming eternally
never ending possibilities
oh how I envy you sweet child
never grow up
evermore let your spirit soar
please, for the sake of your humanity
do not become what the world sees
retain sweet blissful ignorance
for a child does not understand death

(in)sensitive.
which one am i?
both.
or maybe neither.
senses, sensing, emotion.
sometimes, i shut myself off from that.
i don't want to cry,
get upset,
be bothered.
i don't want to be angry,
misunderstood,
apathetic.
too much of one,
too little of another.
i guess i can't be both.
i just don't want to be,
(in)sensitive.