I was thrilled the first time i saw you
Loved the way you made me fall for you
You've got something that kept haunting me
You made breathing seem so hard for me

You were everything that i wished for
I just never felt this way before
You were everything that i wanted
But shouldn't i forget you instead?

Loving you was just a waste of time
'Cause there's no way you'll ever be mine
I tried to put you out of my brain
But my heart is screaming out your name

How will i ever forget your smile
You're all i see when i close my eyes
Forgetting you is not that easy
I swear you make my heart go crazy

How will i find a way to survive
I can't live without you in my life
Nobody else will fit right into
The place in my heart that's just for you

I still love you after all this time
That's something i can never deny
I don't give a **** 'bout who you are
You're the only one who owns my heart

somehow you
still have a hand
on my heart,
though what part I
don't know--
you are
passionate yet
disinterested,
sudden and
deceptively
straightforward--
yet I
know you
somehow
past your
rigidity
and can't help
but want to
caress your
lonely
impulses.

When you had to leave
I just forgot how to breathe;
lost track of time, hell,
I mislay my senses

i don’t know how someone as small as me
with bones that break at the sight of heat lightning
and heart strings that thread apart at the sound of his voice
could make anyone feel like the sun shines brighter
through kaleidoscope eyes—
you’re okay if it brings out the freckles on your face,
and you feel good, you feel alive
you say i showed you how to love in a new way,
that i taught you to be so much more okay with your tummy,
“it’s been very freeing and life is a lot better, thank you,”
but i feel like i can’t say you’re welcome
because i am a messy cliché of imperfect scraps and hypocrisy
loosely sewn together with
“you are strong you are strong you are strong,”
but i feel so weak i feel so weak i feel so weak
and i am not steady hands, they shake like
wet dogs after kiddy pool baths,
i am flower seeds that forgot how to bloom,
trapped below the surface of a garden that feels like quicksand
and i’m sorry but you don’t see all the mistakes i make,
all the words i’ve preached that look back at me
and laugh when they see
what i feel, what i think, who i am behind closed doors,
i’m sorry.
you keep hanging medals around my neck, and
they’re so heavy, and i don’t know
what to say besides i love you
when you speak words of adoration,
but please do not praise me, i am not good.

she                                                        
writes a list
of all the things
    she hates about herself
in just one word:

everything
                                             ­                    he
                                                 writes a list
                                          of all the things
                             he loves about her                  
                                       in just one word:

                                               *everything