My strength is gone
I cannot fight long
If it's your will
Soon to you I will belong
How could that be wrong?
I am trying to be strong
I am scared as the days are long
That my gift, that you gave, life
Could soon be gone
When that day dawns
And I hear my name
There will be no blame
Through my prayers
I hope to be ready
My nerves will be steady
As I resight
Our father
Who are in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
As it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
and
Forgive our trespasses
As we forgive those
Who trespass against us
And
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For thine
Is the kingdom
And the power
And the glory
For ever and ever
Never think
It could never
!!

it is part of me making my way
it deciding if I will get to stay
or if it will be my last day
maybe my time will be over in may  
living for another day
it's the only way
day
after
day
after
day
after
day
starting with
today
!!

never like this before

tonight

walking the floor

tbinking I am done for

from words that was yours

no more can I ignore

my feelings will never be restored

that, I am sure

"your pitiful"

made me a prisoner of war

and from so much more

now relationships that cannot be restored

the guilt is yours

my heart tore

no feelings left and they will never again be explored

that is for sure

at deaths door

I question how and why did I become such an eyesore

to people

I adore

hot turns to cold
this is getting old
it's out of control
which ever way the wind blows
we both go
again
the craziness we cannot let go
what is there  to hold
the things that have been told

hide and go seek
keeps us at our peak
the slips
the love that occasionally leaks

two freaks
the hand print
left on my cheek
the mean streak
makes us complete

week to week
when things seems bleak
does not make us weak

the games
i blame
you blame
there is no shame
we both came

tame
not our claim to fame

the games
will never change
not our strange
we never stay estranged

the games
the power
the desire

we play
the games

the phone rings
hello
hello
breathing on the other end
the absence I have to comprehend
I have to pretend
that the love did not end
there is a knock at the door
lasting shadow on the floor
never to be anymore
something I must endure
to pretend
the love did not end
a voice heard
I am blushing
listening
beads of sweat glistening
I pretend
the love did not end
I hear
footsteps
almost sleeping
leaping
I fall
again I pretend
the love did not end
sometimes it lasts
living in the past
I will continue to pretend
that it did not end
life's love
my heart will not mend

None fleeting
None  in consensual
All so above usual
I would say normal
Nothing formal
All, the way they should have been informal
All my loves
Were my snow white doves
Some in my past times
Some in my present time
All part of my time
As some were in my beginning
They all will be in my ending
As everything does
It will begin
As well end
Some I have lost
and then found
Some on the rebound
It begins
Nothing presumed
All pursued  
In all consumed
Fate?
That I met all of you
Now setting here reminiscing
And missing
My
"Loves"
      !!

When death comes knocking at my door
Know
My life was never boar
I never felt living was a chore
I never shut a door
I explored
I had good times
Some bad times
Always being kind
I never listened to the clock chime
Every minute was mine
I never lived for the dime
Living filled my mind
But never was I blind
I loved many women
Included some men
It did not cause my end
Most are still my friend
I never wasted time
Waiting for a second chance
I danced
I always prayed
Never lost faith
I knew there was a better place
Where I would end the race
With no blame
Nor shame
Live
I did

Is there no more love  
Doesn't it make you want to cry
This earth, it's about to die
Everyone turns a blinds eye
Why ?
Why ?
Does everyone just stand by
And not here the outcry
I am horrified
That  no one wants to rectify  
All they want to do is justify
And just get by
and not try
I guess it's easier to comply
To do nothing must be more
Dignified
Why ?
Are people so satisfied
To just set back and watch this world die
Why ?
Are people not terrified
Because they are waiting for it to be clarified
When it happens I guess then they will be mortified
Then
It will be to late to ask

Why ?
!!

Pack your bags
Take all your **** rags
Stay and watch the ******* things burn
Of course you would not turn
I told you to leave and not come inside
But no
you had to stay and watch me try
to commit suicide
You never let anything slide
All the nagging
and always bragging
Us always playing a game of tag
Making my life a drag
You always seemed to be on the rag
Always running the streets to find someone to ****
You always took the chance to go out stag
Get the **** out
Just leave!!
Don't worry about me
I will find someone that loves me for me
I don't give a **** if they are a little insane
We will pop a bottle of champagne
There will not be anymore chains
Won't lay blame
With no games
Nothing to explain
Finally someone with a brain
Get the **** out
Just leave !!
Nothing more to disbelieve
No more being afraid you will conceive
Nothing more to grieve
All the later **** just makes me want to heave
Nothing more to share between
I have cut all of our strings
So get the **** out
And just
Leave
Please
   !!

Living my life and this is the cost
Being lost
Tell me please
Is it just me
In this state of feeling lost
Is this the way it should be
As every morning defrost
Feeling so lost
My eyes glossed
When did this happen to me ?
When my love I lost ?
Setting silent I often ponder and wander
Are they as lost as me ?
Are we, still what we both need ?
Why could it not be ?
Are they thinking of me ?
Are they feeling the same need ?
To see me ?
Lost
After not hearing their laughter
I listen and think I hear it in the rafters
While laying in bed thinking of our mornings after
I am
Lost
!!

If I lost everything
Would you stay the same
Or would you count your blessings
Just because I was honest and started confessing
Would there be anymore caressing
If not and you should stop how depressing

IF I

If I should loose my eyesight
and could not see
Would you leave me
Or would you stay
And see for me, lead me
Would you squawk at
the people that would stand around and gawk

IF I

If I for some reason  could not walk
Would you stay and help walk
Keep having our long night talks
Not set around a bock
And watch the clock
Instead, would you make sure I made it to see the Doc.

IF I

If I stopped loving you
Would you set around and do nothing
and let things brew
Get blue
Would you keep loving me and
try to make everything new
or would you give up and we both loose
Would you put up a fight for what you knew

IF I

If I could not make love to you
Would you find other ways
Without any delays
I hope you would not find anyone else
and stray and runaway
I would hope you would be brave and
stay

IF I

If I could not live
and had to die
Would you stay through thick and thin
Would you be my nurse
Up to the time for the hearse
Or would you just turn off the life support
and abort

IF I

If I could not be
What you wanted me to be
or what you saw in me
All this really happened to me
Would you remember
The vow
That was
and is  

For the better and for the worst
Until death do us part

                    !!

I am who I am
Sure I play
Love a good roll in the hay
Shame it's not everyday
It's got to be my way
Yep, you need to be brave
Once we engage
O.k., call it misbehave
Afterwards !!
I will be what you crave
I am who I am
I will always speak my mind
Pull back and I try to be kind
I am not a person that is refined
What the hell
"Touching glasses with my cocktail"
" Do tell "
But into the detail
I am who I am
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words will never hurt me
Get my drift
Make it swift
Don't listen to senseless ****
I am who I am
My friends I would never betray
Just loyal in that way
Count on me everyday
I am who I am
Tough, rough and a little gruff
So they say
I am that way
What do they want a powder puff
I am who I am
I will stand up for what I believe
I will more then likely never reprieve
I guess hard headed and set in my ways
"Hey" I can blame that on my age
I am who I am
I want apologize
For who
Or what I am

" I am who I am"
          !!