Daddy smacked me
Snow flake I
For being naughty
It made me cry

When I was thirteen
I learnt to fight
I hit my daddy
Did it make it right

A violent slap
A punch to the
Head
In woke society
Everything’s
Dead.

You cannot live
You fear a mistake
Scared to take
A piece of the
Cake

It’s all becoming
A lovely farce
I did learn early
To wipe my ****.

Days aren’t available
Nights Im scraping by
Longing for the moment
To fade away and die
I was a proud man
Stature no to shabby
This whole
dying thing
Makes me
So very
unhappy.
I don’t want
any pity
We must
all see
I just want
to die
With -ucking dignity.

Looking at you
With reddish eyes
Emotions burnt
Inside have died.
All you have left
Me
is hurtful tears
Heartbroken and
Chards of fear.
You trampled over
All our dreams
Blood in my veins
Became a polluted
Stream
Heartbroken
Lost my zest
I gave love a chance
And failed the test.

Everything is black
But oh so jolly
Even made thee arc lady
Into a charred ice lolly.
Winnie the poo
Was a Russian spy
Everything so interesting
all truths are not lies.
Elvis still lives
On a red bus on the moon
all guns in America being
Banned quite soon.
living on Mars
As the ice age recedes
No more news please please please.
The church and the blue blood
Have run the masses by fear
news is news year after year
Who do we believe
The newscaster in straight jacket
Or the puppeteer
Whose killing who
With a bright pink smear.
We must all believe in the written word
The books tell stories it's all made up news.

Travelling the path
Of dying embers
Memories faded
Diluted and gone
No more
grasp on life
withering
Away and done.
There’s only me
From my family tree
Leaves are sadly
Departed
Still I travel down
This path well
Not to
downhearted.
Still I keep on
Breathing
Taking in the air
I know when it’s
Time to go
When I reach the
Bottom of the stairs.

Twist in the tale
Of old mother Hubbard
She went from a mansion
To living in a cupboard
All those children she
Didn’t know what to do
She downsized again
And Took residency
In an oversized shoe.
Humpty Dumpty
Became her lover
With his wealth
She began to recover.
With All her children
Behind in tow
Up the property ladder
She would go.
She Brought an orphanage
Where her children
Would grow.
Humpty and Hubbard
Had a wonderful life
They actually
Did it became
Man and wife.

Hum ducking
Mummy bucking
Hen chucking
Hectic piece
Of twit
Dog loves me
So buck of and why
Leave me alone
I am a god woof.

Jesus in goal
He does save.

Full backs
Are
Reggie and Ronnie
A couple of Krays.

Centre half
Giant of a man
He’s the comic
Desperate Dan.

Midfielders
Pol *** and Mao Tse Tung
Nasty leaders
Stopping the ball
from going long

Wing backs Dolly Parton
And Sandra Dee
Running up and down
The Wings
that suits me.

Two wingers
Ginger Roger’s
And Fred Astaire
Lovely feet
Catching the opposition
Unaware.

Up front
Number nine
Scoring all the goals
Dandy and fine
All the crowd
came to see
Is the greatest legend
You got it
Yep it’s me.


Our manager
We couldn’t get
Enough
He was number1
Mr Brian Clough.

Fruit cake in my larder
Wearing a wooden cloak
Running around on empty
I wish to take your place

Creaking bones rotting flesh
Wearing a wooden cloak
Silence of dark loneliness
I need to take your place

Acid runs through my veins
Wearing a wooden cloak
Demons control my mind
Plesase can I pinch your place

If your not prepared to give
To me  then I will have to act
Then I'm prepared to **** you
It's just a matter of fact

In my wooden blackened cloak
I wanted every piece of you

Talon of the hawk
Swoop dinner dead
Poor  sweet bunny
Off Spring must be fed

Hand of the human
Shop dinner frozen
Poor sweet chicken,
Sold by the dozen

When I wake up
It’s a different day
Is it a cop out
Within the
games we play.
we ask ourselves
What have I done
Excuses we make
For having fun.
I didn’t wish to vex
I just loved to see
what came
Next.

Express train chuffing
Inside the skull.
It's raging
Red to a fat face bull,
vipers,snipers everywhere
mind so dark
It's really not fair
Chemical,chemicals
Saturate the brain
Barbwiring me up
Inside acid rain

Empathy and apathy
Of which I
I don’t possess
I could not love you
This I shall
Confess.
I still have a sunshine
Mind
Very thoughtful
Not unkind.

Could you love
A person like me
No apathy
No empathy
I have a smile
I will
Make you laugh
Would you dance?
With this narcissistic
Psychopath .

A heart without love
Space without stars
an unused womb
It's a lonely place.

Unspoken words
An unwritten tune
A melody without a stave
Who am I to walk alone
Slowly to my grave.

Withering away
Closing of mind
Sadness of the dark
I am the lonely place

Poor old me my poetry is crap
In life it's zilch,I can deal with that.
With every word with every breath
Poetry is poetry, death is death.

Human touch
Baby smile
Family tree
My world

My woman of a
Thousand suns
Have you got a feather
To tickle my ***
My woman of a
Thousand dawns
Have you got the remote
I want to watch ****,

Love is a tidal wave of emotion,
A symphony of smile
Cocooned in harmony
Please can you stay a short while
Flowers blossoming in the midday sun,
To a crescendo of smell
All Wrapped up in cotton wool
Besotted I can tell
Swimming in delirium
Swimming in total bliss
Waiting with the tingles
To receive that first sweet kiss
Giving and receiving
Prose and the right text
Love will last at least to tomorrow
All depends on what you do next.

Years have passed
You suddenly died
It was long ago
You were my bride
Thoughts of you
Passed daily
Through my mind
Never once going blind
We Will be together again
In heaven above
Stay twinkling my star
My sweet love

R I P

First animal
In space
Her name
Was June
She was the
Cow who
Jumped
Over the
Moon.

First person
To visit the
North Pole
Was my mate
Old king Cole,
He got there
In a Ferrari
Or was it a rolls.

First transatlantic
Flight
Was made by
Someone I
Hold dear
Flying from
Newfoundland
To Ireland
Was my
Best friend Mr
Buzz Lightyear.

First person
To top Everest
Was In 1953,
Blonde hair
Iconic dress
Getting to top
Without a rest
Wow that cold
Wind would blow
For my girlfriend
Marilyn Munro.

Solitary clouds
Do collide.
Sometimes
It’s risky
To take
The ride.

Solitary clouds
Combine in the
Sky,
Listen to the rain
She Will sing
Just take a risk
Let loving begin.

Solitary clouds
Create the weather
For you and I
To be together.

Solitary clouds
We our no more
Like the snow
White and pure.

When the heavens open
And we step inside
Was it beautiful
To take that ride.

Wicked witch
In tattooed skin
On besom stick
Love me within.

Hour glass figure
Voluptuous *******
*******
I need a rest .

Piercing eyes
Glorious prose
Beauty personified
Head to your toes.

Scent of a rose
Fantastic pose.
Wicked  witch
with
Out a doubt
Just asking
Why do your
Lips look like
A trout.

The sovereign sky
Cornfield by moonlight sun god
Druidic traditions

Seductive siren
Midsummer nights dream temptress
Calimity wreck

Wise old trout nymph
Hallow lands strange features
Water guardians

I read some poetry
I don’t understand
Haven’t got a clue
So do forgive me if
I do not review.
I would not no if
Poetry is good or bad
No empathy no apathy
I think I’m always sad
I wish to think I must
Not upset
About others poetry
I just don’t get.

Rhubarb steak
Kingfisher stew,
Any food you like
This chef
will
Cook
for you.
Bees on toast
Hedgehog in honey
Put your order in
Pay your money.
Skewered rat
Roasted cat
Soup of the day
Escargot and bat.
Warthog eyes
Testicles of horse
Nice and tasty
Your main course.
Goldfish roulade
Salt and vinegar cream
Washed down with
***** of goat or a
Bottle of Jim Beam
A little appetiser
To finish the meal
Two nice crackers
With pate of seal.
Michelin stars
Five at most
Special of the day
Are
Spleens
on toast.

Trying to be
A silk purse
In a blood
stained dress
Nasty person
Your life’s
A mess.
I need you
We must asunder
You are my lightening
Im not your thunder.
I need you
I won’t deceive
Cant live a life
Of make believe.
Silk purse thing won’t
Wash with me.
So I must  
go home
alive and
Unhappy.

England football
Tuchell in charge
For us supporters
A German thats hard.
We’ve had an Italian
We’ve a had a swede
Still it’s just pure fantasy.
This manager has no class
Like all the rest
Not good enough
To wipe Alf Ramseys ****.
The trophy room
Countable of one.
It’s like having bullets
But no ****** gun,
Tuchell singing god
Save the king
Thats going to be
A tricky thing.
Football football
Coming home
Fantasy football
On me phone.

Sky pundits
Call it the
Beautiful
Game
So why do
They cheat
It’s such a
Shame.
Players
Pretending to be
Be hurt
Cheaters don’t
Deserve to wear
The shirt.
Feathers Macgraw
Rolling Around
On the grass
Another
one shot
He’s on his ****,
Coaches and players
Are all to blame
For putting football
To ****** shame.

I am stuck in a bubble
I am West Ham
Playing football
They best I can,
I left Upton Park
The Boleyn ground
For pastures new
I took the hammers
Sound.
On this surface
I did not rest,
I am the ghost
Of  Mr  Clyde Best
I am stuck in a bubble
I am West Ham
Always and forever
A loyal fan.

Im eighty two
Have no
Memory of
You

I have a
Blank frame
A crying
Shame

A picture
Of you
Still lives
In my
Heart

I met a budgie
High on a perch
I asked where
You going
What do you
Search,
I flew out the
Window now I’m
Free
So I ate the budgie
It was
Fine by me,
Freedom is dangerous
You must have rules
I think this meal
was a stupid fool.

Over the top to glory boys
To a Geronimo of chants
Oh so billhooks boys
I think I've just **** my pants
I was a bullet frightened conscript
But over the top I went
I died for King and country
Letter for my mother was sent
they left my rotting smelling corpse
in a ditch of mud so red
I was just another statistic
A sacrifice that needed to be bled.
I never lived to see what was the final score
Millions lay with millions
upon earths most deadly flaw.

There’s horror
Coming out
Of the lake
Of tears,
The hunting
Trip
Turned
Rather queer.
Found a
Cabin
Deep in the
Woods
Those creatures
From hell never
Understood.
Blood didn’t
Run through veins
The living had
to endure their
Pain.
The sun came up
Dissipated fears
They Wandered back
To the lake of tears.

Frozen sheer terror
Abyss,blackened doom
This is how it  all started
In my mothers womb.
I was quite happy swimming
Around in daddies sac
If I was given a big choice
I would gladly have swam back.
I had no choice in the matter,
I was a crime without a face
Little ole heartless me about
To join the human race.
Mummy was screaming when
I came out of that dark abyss
Reeking of unhappiness
About to receive my first kiss
My I was a difficult
My I was fu--ing bad
Rotten to the bone
Making everybody oh so sad.
They gave me the name of
Chucky
They made movies about I
I was a bomb in a bowler hat
Surely making the whole world cry.
They said I was paranormal
A freak without a heart
On the scale of one to ten
I wasn't even on the chart
Being a bad omen
A tortured exorcist
I would walk upon your grave
And take a warming p-ss
Shock horror, ingesting all the pain
one flew over the cuckoos nest
Please release me from my chain
Hannibal lector, vladimere the impaler
We're quirky whimps compared to me
I don't know where I'm going with this
So I'm going to walk among the dead
Then  I'm coming back to haunt you
And cut of your miserable head

Coming home
From a fruitless war
My minds playing tricks
Every turn
Becomes a shut door,
A battered orange
A battered pear
Seems to me no one cares.
I was bad now they want
Me to be good
No consequences
And misunderstood,
Bad blood running
Through my veins
A fruitless war will
Drive you insane.
Hospital days
Giving me sweet pills
Im still dead in the head
No happiness no thrills.

Hi all out there in ga ga land
Let's just sing and dance
Let's take in some alcohol
Play a game of chance.
Hug a tree,kiss a stranger
Live a little,beware the danger.
let's run naked through the trees
Feel the freshness of the breeze.
Lay yourself down on pastures new
Be good to oneself,and try not to be blue.
Blow some kisses to the stars!
Smile broadly at the moon
Take in lots of  good and tempting
Before the popping of  the balloon

Owl and the ***** cat
Went to sea on
the Titanic,
Two gay
lovers
Both a
little manic.
Ollie liked
poppy juice
Sylvester
liked dope
Both on a sinking
Ship Thats given
Up hope.
Ollie spread
her wings
Sylvester got
on back
Flew of into
the sunset
Now thats a
Spunky cat.

Dreamt of a happy
Christmas
It never came
We all went down
Sick
****** shame.
Vaccinations
What a load of shat
Hot honey and
A lemon drink
And a cuddle
from the cat.
New year come and went
Bank balance didn’t
Take a dent.
Me and the cat were
Nearly back to square one
So all you people in poetry
Land have a good year
And lots of fun.

Met a woman
She’s eighty two
She wanted ***
I hadn’t a clue.
I said look
Thats  fine
By me
Can you
Hurry up,
Because
Next week
I turn
One hundred
And three.
I enjoyed it
I do confess,
I didn’t think
I could make
That much mess.
I think this woman
Took advantage of me
Who cares
I died
happy
103.

Scary ghosts of uck halls
Threw lavish parties
And summer *****.
One criteria on the
Invitation read
You had to be
Physically dead

I didn’t stop me
I had a plan
I disguised myself
As a baked bean can

My Skelton mate
Went to the bar
Asked for a pint
And a mop
It was different
That night he
Never spilt a drop.

The band played thriller
Drinks went down well
Trap door opened
Out popped lucifer
From the road to hell.

Ghost of Dracula
And Frankenstein
Dancing singing
Drinking bottles
Of wine.

Party went on well
Past five
The bouncers evicted
Me because they
Found out  I was alive.

Next year
I am
Going to
be dead
Just like the
invitation read.

Ghostly ghosts
Of uck hall
Great parties
But not for all.

Crossword compiler whom did suddenly die
The doctors and police,didn't really no why
The compiler he was clever he left them a clue
Still the stupid ******* never new what to do
It wasn't cryptic it had no hidden undertones
It wasn't suicide, I'm messaging it on a phone
So how did he or she come to Meet their maker
Answers You will find in tomorrow's  local paper.

Poetry virus
As you read it kills
deleting your poetry
As virus free wheels.
Home page vanishing
Into binary abyss
click the save button
And All will go amiss,
This virus effects and
Will **** all your odes,
Send me loads of money
To break the codes.
po box four seven three
overseas bank account
Its all a scam to me

Playing golf
No holes in one
My ******* round
Was not much fun,
I hooked the ball left
I sliced the ball right
Every hole
I played
****** *****.
After ranting
And raving
I couldn’t
give a ****
I Threw my clubs
In a nice yellow skip.
Problem I got
Golf is very dear
It’s the 20th set of clubs
I brought this year
Golf breaks my heart it
Shatters my soul
If I don’t get better
Im taking up bowls.

Three amigo’s
Knife
Fork
And spoon
Travelled to space
In a big  red balloon.
Huddled together
Wasn’t much room,
For the three amigo’s
Knife
Fork
and spoon.

Up into space
In that big red balloon
The three amigo’s
Knife fork and spoon
We’re  not the first
to walk on the moon.

This was
a moment
A spacial gate,
See
The first steps
on the moon
We’re done
by a
Big soup dish
And a
dinner plate.

****** bill
Came over
The hill
To
**** **** ****
**** ****.
Bullet proof
Dave who
Was highly
Paid
Had to try
And put him
In his grave.
This wasn’t easier
Said than done
Cause bullet proof
Dave
Thought it
would be
Spoiling
his fun.
****** bill
And bullet
Proof Dave
Were born
Identical twins
In this little battle
Between good and bad
Who do you want
To win

The sun has got
His hat on
Hip hip
Hip hip horray
The sun has got
His hat on and
He’s coming
Out to play.
Nuclear bomb
Has got his
Warhead on
He wants to
Come and play
He wants to travel
To the sun
And take
Our lives away.
If you have something
good
You must have something
bad
Problem with that
One makes you happy
The other so saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

On the titanic
When it sunk
I was in middle class
Sleeping in
a cold bunk.
People screaming
But could not
Hear a thing
The music played
On with  that woman
Who couldn’t sing,
In my room sat
My ghost upon a shelf
Being scared full of dread
I had been hallucinating
I’d been drinking
and wet the bed.

Shut the door
Don’t come back
Once you were
inside
Now Im covered
In cracks.
I was stalwart
True and fit
Years with you
Now I don’t
want to live,
I was smitten I
Fell for your games
There’s only me to
Really to blame.
So shut that door
And don’t come back
The lights have gone out
In this beaten up shack.
Property been sealed
Now  I must rebuild,

Got a new cat
Mollie died
Tears that night
I did cry
This new cat
I do confess
On the carpet
Milly left a mess..
Big pile of ****
You gone
And guessed it
I got up
And stood in it.
Owl and the
***** cat in
A boat
If she don’t
Use her litter tray
I will pack her bags
And her hat and coat.

I walked a crooked mile
Had to many pints
Of Guinness.
While Zig zag walking
It made the locals smile.
Half an hour later
Should be nearly home
Im going to have a chatter
To the big white telephone.
Late for work
Might get the 45
After a good Guinness
Session it’s good to be alive.