The poem killer
On the prowl
Doing ***** deeds
****** most fowl,
Grammar wrong
Will erase mistakes
Post on line
As works of fake.
Smelling mistakes
Words not smelt right
Poems will  die
without
A fight.
The poem killer
Poets dread
That their works
Will never be red.
These doggerel rhymes
Not fit to reed
As a righter
Shall I **** seed.

I got a little problem doc
Every morning  I have
A regular **** at 8 o’clock
That’s alright said the doc
I said no it isn’t
I don’t wake up to 9 o’clock.
Doc.

Went to the doctors
This was a farce
Pants came down
Found a lump
In my ****
This wasn’t
Turning out
To be my day,
He found a golf ball
It had gone in a
Fairway.

Doggerel is the way to go
Going to master the art
In the bad poetry show
Useless lyrics
Worthless rhyme
I’m getting better
Just give me time
Ditties are crazy
Limericks funny
Writing doggerel
I’m on the money.
Hey ****** ******
The cat had a piddle
All over the kitchen floor
The little dog laughed
To see such fun so
The cat did a little bit more.
Are these the words of a
Doggerel poet
I’m  not very good and
I think I know it.

Thank you awfully
Do you mind
Kick this dog
Do be unkind.
Thank you awfully
Do you mind
Kick the cat
Do be unkind.
Would you like
To kick my horse
Do you mind
Not of course.
Would you like
To eat my pet
There be a yes
Just not quite yet.
Are you a member
Of the RSPCA
So am I just
Joined today.
There seems to
Be a vacant spot
MR Packham
Just ran off.
Do you think
He was right
Daft person
Should have stayed
And
put things
right.

Marcel deauchamp
Of poetry
Fine writing is
Not my way
Wordsworth was talented
Shakespeare had his play.

Allen Poe
thee main man
Byron wrote some
Shanties
When people read my
Poetry they put
poo poo
In there *******.

Marcel deauchamp
Of poetry
I did the best I can
People read my poetry
And flushed it
Down the pan.

Marcel was an artist
With his own style
If you see his artwork
This will make you smile

This sign post
Cannot be read
To late your
******* dead.

I have a flaw
Loving I’m not
Born twisted
A bad shot.

A closed door
Un sung song
Born twisted
Oh so wrong.

Mother crow
Father a ****
Liability me
Fancy that.

Never to be old
So ****** cold
Sickly of heart
Blackened lung
I was destined
To die so young

I did die
No tears were shed
So all my flaws
We’re put to bed.

Into the grave
I was put
I was unhinged door
Finally shut.

If you read
These words
You will
Die
Oops

Madness and pain
Partners in crime
Only getting relief
A little at a time.

Joyful and love
It’s songful rap
I prefer to call it
The happiness trap.

Hope and despair
Highs and lows
Let these inside
Nothing will flow.

Truths and lies
They hide in prose,
When inside disguise.
Nothing grows

War and peace
Death and life
A Truce would
be like
Sliding down the
Edge of your knife.

Beatles or the Rolling Stones
Blur, oasis or the undertones
In life the music you choose
I prefer Rory Gallagher
Playing the blues.

Sun is one big burning star
Drove there once in my motor car
Astronauts,moon what's all that fuss
We had already been there in a big red bus
Mount Everest conquered what a sham
I'd already been pushed up there in a one wheeled Pram.
Victoria falls went over inside a barrel we danced
All night in Russia's Chernobyl
Creative creativity dancing in radiated rain
In my little cuckoos nest recovering not sane.
Next week going over to the planet Venus
In a camper van shaped like a big yellow *****
Of to the sun in sugar-paper plane
You to can come to in my ticketless game
Still I'm locked up in flesh eating chains
Going supersonic on a ***** trapped train
One day I will come back to uninteresting earth
I think I've been mental since the day of my birth

I refuse
To be defused
I am a nuclear
Bomb.
I will do
My duty
Sabre rattle
I shall do it
With aplomb.
If I explode
Tears I cry
Knowing
Everyone will die.
Really want to
Be a friend
Do you see
Please
Don’t make me
An enemy.
I have this thing
For the human kind
So if you don’t
bother  me
we all
Should be fine.

Sweet

We sit and stare
No conversation
To share,
Drinking slowly
Time going  slow
It’s like being in
An orchard  where
Apples don’t grow.
Closing the highways
Is not our thing
Our songs
had great
Lyrics and
we could sing,
So why our we staring
No talk to share
Let’s get them growing
Them apples and pears.

Surfing the world
On a nuclear bomb,
With elegant style
Panache and aplomb.
Around and around
Undecided where to stop
Like the grand master
In a circus big top.
Entertaining the masses
With laughter and fear,
Hip hip hooray
Who let out a big cheer.
Every so often when losing
One’s grip please
don’t get your ****
Stuck in your zip.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I would rather
Bonk a pig
Than make love
To you
I think the missus
She hit me of course
Now the cow is filing
For a divorce.
Still I see
romance ain’t dead
So I shot the pig
And ate it instead.

Branded a coward
I wouldn't fight
Killing oh killing
Is not morally right.
Chicken they call me
Cluck cluck cluck
I'm not fighting and
I don't give a f-ck
Up against thee establishment
Trouble maker I
shot at dawn don't understand why.

The doors were open in 48
Diseases have been spread
Global immunity I think not
We just morn the dead.

To **** a virus the host must die
Nature will not cower away,
A virus is the hangman
Inside this deadly play.

All viruses are dead
Until it finds a host
immune system overload
Do you hear the Last post.

Close the doors
Humans rebel
Close the doors
Creates hell.

Good times
Bad times
Viruses have the upper hand
Good times bad times
Death across the land

Ode to the butchers apron
Now flying proudly at half mast
Empire days of brutality
Are we now paying for the past.
Terrorism has come home
To this green and prosperous land
People killing people
What is there to understand .

Falling into the
The deep dark black,
Anxiety high
No light through
My cracks.
On my own
Feel very alone,
Everything creeks
And ****** groans,
Even the cat is having
A moan.
I Don’t need alcohol
I Don’t need love
Im over the abyss
I need a gentle shove.
Oh well life’s a pain
There’s always sun after
The ******* rain.

Fathomless sorrow
Reaching through time
All my love swimming
Lost in a glass of wine.
Candle burning slowly
Time standing still
Another night alone
I’ll be paying the bill.
Fathomless sorrow
Of a broken heart still
Looking for love,
and a fresh new start.

Fallen from my pedastol
Drowning in my sorrow,
Dark days on thee horizon
Can,t face many more tomorrow,
The audience and the pedastol
I was not born for such a scene
The life of the fallen actor
Summed up in cyanide ice cream.

Fragile Earth
With paper wings
Fragile cities
Where no one sings.
Fragile world
Lands are burning
Planet crying slowly
Turning,
Angels and unicorns
Are abandoning ship
On a toss of a coin
The sun will dip.
Fragile humans
In a boot with no lace
Letting creation
Fall from grace.

Yippee I’ve won
The lottery
Picked some numbers
Now out of poverty.
Buy a big mansion
Buy a Rolls Royce
Let’s have a big party
Let’s ******* rejoice.
Buy a big jet
Sights to see
Attract beautiful
Women
just right
For me
Spend spend spend
That’s what I did
Unfortunately
For me
I had only
won
Twenty quid.

Dreaming dreams
Of you and me
Cuddling up
Under the apple tree.
Lips upon lips we
Have created a smile
I think we might
Stay here
for a long while.
Tender touches
Finding our way
Is this love
Is this our day.
Bodies entwine
In a loving play.

Dreaming Im floating
In the depths of dark
Im swimming in the sea
Being chased  by sharks.
Running through fires
Bombs dropping from sky
Flying with butterflies
In these dreams I die.
I crawl down the stairs
Being chased by the dark
Midnight is coming
The clocks start to bark.
Im out with the fairies
Surfing the Milky Way
These nights I dream
I come out to play.

Sweet little spots
on a Dalmatians coat,
The plimsol line
On a turquoise boat.
Jack in the box
With a turbo Spring
A door bell dancing
To its own ring ting.
Alone I am in a dull
Sound proof room,
Come to me nurse
With your razor sharp spoon
Oh I do like to be beside the seaside

Promenade amblers
Ice cream lickers
Life guard savers
Beach ball kickers.
Deck chair sitters
Bikini wearers
Lovely ladies
Summer starers.
Sand castle makers
Fish and chips
For tea
A cuddle on
The ferris wheel
For you and me.
People playing
In the penny arcade
My memories
of summer
Will never fade.

Look at me I'm Walter Mitty
Smartly dressed looking pretty
Dreaming dreams,dreams of love
Can I dance with you

Smartly dressed looking pretty
Hello beautiful I'm Walter Mitty
Dreaming of love,dreaming of you
Can I pinch a kiss

Kissing you,a lady with style
Kissing ones red ruby lips
Walter Is still day dreaming
Or has He just docked his ship

Hello everybody,Walter Mitty has found a lover
Plastered it all over face book,Twitter and all the other
Still he went on dreaming,still dreaming everyday
Now he's with his woman and both can dream away

Holiday to the sun
On a paper rocket
It’s going to be fun
I’m thinking a trip
To the earths moon
Away in the stars
We will do it soon
A little trip to Venus
In a yellow transit
Shaped like a *****
Years from now a
Trip down to hell
If I get out of this asylum
You can come as well
Men in white coats
With keys on a chain
Won’t let me go
They think I’m insane
I’ve hatched a plan
It’s not going well
We will have to cancel
This trip to hell
Sell the transit and buy a bus
Go to Bognor  
And kick up a fuss
Please don’t  hold out
any hope  for me
I think they threw
Away the key
Tip top smile

Feels like
your drifting
Slip sliding away
The ball
started rolling,
The drifter
in you needs
To go out
and play.
The smiles
have gone
Replaced
by frowns
Go with
my blessing
And create
new sounds,
New horizons,
Views what you see
Please find in your
Heart to drift
back to me.

It's that politician time
They want your single vote
Blues have got mummy Teresa
The reds have a billy goat.
Somebody has to rule us
keeping democracy well alive
I don't care whos in charge
As long as this country thrives.
tax all the tax dodgers more
Streamline the national health
Shoot all those crooked bankers
Who tried to loose our wealth.
we need all types of people
On this sacred land of ours
So three cheers for Great Britain
And I'm of ,drinking at the bar

Been on the drinks
With Vincent
Van Gogh
I asked him if he
wanted a beer
He replied
no thanks matey
Because
I got one ear.

A shot in the arm
Then life goes on
A serum for the weak
Nature is always harsh.

playing with fire
Who lives and dies
hear humanity cry
Laws of nature do not apply.

Save the weak
Save the old
Save the vulnerable
Disaster will unfold.

Drug companies have
Found their holy grail
Humanity will crumble and fall
7 billion customers,there
Going to have a ball.

Variant diffrent every year
The money keeps rolling in
Get your shot in the arm
At seventy life begins.

Mess around with dieing
Then Life becomes a mess.
Suicide rate will hit a high
Life becomes a game of chess.

Millions of rhymes
Going round
Inside my head
Some about the
Living
Some about the
Dead but
Mostly
from
The
words
I’ve read.
I am tired
Going to draw
The line
This is Guinness
Number nine.
**** I haven’t
Fed the cat
Never mind.
Because Thats
Just that.

Just watched a film
The Battle of Verdun
Where the
French and the Germans
Looked like they
We’re having fun.
Lots of fireworks
Brightening
Up the sky
Then I realised
They were there
To die.
Who in there right
Minds come up with
These  horrors,
People never knowing
Their Tomorrows.
They didn’t learn
From the Somme
Really O,Riley
Humans are dumb.

Don’t get the picture
Bemused befuddled
Edges are frayed
In our  jigsaw puzzle.
On the table
Strewn across the floor
Pieces of the picture
Don’t fit anymore.
Once we were
An orchard
Now a apple
And a pear
We our
Not heeding
The signs of
A dying love affair.

I'm starting to evolve
I'm just a minuscule *****
So I took a selfie
Whom Facebook will confirm

You Shuffle my emotions
With your slight of hand
why can't you be true?
My emotions you shuffle
By Controlling the deck
It's pain and love
With a noose round my neck
Why can't you be true?
Manipulating my emotions
You play if it's a game,
Befuddling thee issues
It's a crying shame.
Why can't you be true

Sold my soul to the devil
No good to me
Loneliness as eaten it bad
Cash came in handy.

My being not worth a dime
Loneliness should be made a crime
Sold my soul to the devil
Is life a waste of time.

Life been good
Life been bad
Soul so sad
Cash came in handy.

Never asked to be given life
Who gave me this emptiness
Chemicals in my brain
Am I going lady ga ga.

Empty chair
Where once you sat
Empty bed
Where once you slept
Empty days
Where once you slept
Empty days
Where once we walked
Empty prose
Where once we talked
Empty face
Where once had a grin
Empty aura
Which died within
Oh well !

Empty chair
Once I sat there
Now I'm dead
And gone
Empty chair
Now feels despair
Now I'm dead
And gone
Empty chairs
Are always aware
When your dead
And gone
Empty chairs
Tell stories
Just sit and listen

Uneven pavements
With broken curbs
Moving sluggish
Still undeterred,
Dripping wet
Grimacing with pain
Disturbing thoughts
As I walk through the rain.
Soldiering on
The sun breaks through
Im feeling sick
Since the death of you.
Im walking blindly
Into a wall of sound,
My heartbeat stops
As I hit the ground.

My cat Molly
A loving cat
Died of cancer
And Thats
Just that

Red coated girl in polish ghetto
Ever wonder,ever wonder
Boy in the striped pyjamas
Ever wonder ever wonder
Anne Frank's written diaries
Ever wonder ever wonder
A space in time,
Which holds a heinous crime
Ever wonder ever wonder
A space in time
God went amiss
As thee whole wide world
Fell into darken abyss
Ever wonder ever wonder

It was on the morn
A child was born
Coveted with love,
An angel came down
And took your hand
In a shape of a pure
white dove.

Cornfields
Of gold
Enigma
Of stone
Bees on
The wing
Hear the
Drone.
Meadows
green
Birds
Do sing
Is this
What nature
Brings.
River banks
Full of life
Down country
Path
walks
Husband and wife.
Combine harvester
Doing its thing
On cornfields
Made of gold
Everything dies
In nature
It’s a part of
Getting old

I have learned
It’s not good to burn
There’s fire in her heart
She manipulates me she
Has done from the start.
I don’t want an easy life
Excitement this I yearn
It’s all fair in love and war
Therefore I must burn.
What is life
I don’t want
Just to exist.
Im going to burn
Not fade into the mist.

high on the happy side
Aroma of beauty
Sexually attractive
I'm yours

Dancing with leaves falling
The scent of flower
Sexually attractive
please don't cower

****** activity
The ****** the same
I'm all yours
Excited

You came to me
Bolt out of the blue
With manipulative
Words I love you
You played my heart
Tinkered with my soul
You gave  me life
It was rock and roll.
You made me cry
You made me laugh
We ended up on a
Exciting path
Together as one
We would dance all night
The stars would shine
The loving was right

Sweet pea
You look
So forlorn
She replied
it’s the death
Of the last
Unicorn.