Promenade amblers
Ice cream lickers
Life guard savers
Beach ball kickers.
Deck chair sitters
Bikini wearers
Lovely ladies
Summer starers.
Sand castle makers
Fish and chips
For tea
A cuddle on
The ferris wheel
For you and me.
People playing
In the penny arcade
My memories
of summer
Will never fade.

I have a line for the 300 poets
If everybody was alright
There would be nobody left.

Sparkling eyes
Lips so red
Never blue
Loving you

Tender touch
Skin of silk
Never blue
Loving you

Diamond smile
Welcoming prose
Loving you
Never blue

Your are alive
I am just dead
I’m just flawed
In my sweet head
Never blue
Loving you.

Tip top

Met a little man
And his little son
Met a little girl
Met her little mum
They had a little house
It seems such fun.
They had a little garden
With flowers and a swing
With my big foot
I squashed everything.
Big friendly giant
Yes Thats me
Clumsy as ****
Don’t you agree.

Drinking my
Millionth
Bottle of rye
Ten thousand
Years old
I cannot die
One year I caught
Small pox it
Still didn’t
Put me in
a wooden box.
The French
They chopped
Me head straight
off
They new it
was stupidly wrong
Then my mum went
And Sewed it straight
Back on.
A vampire drained
Me body of all
my blood
Still wouldn’t die
Even if I could.
Please can someone
Have an idea
I don’t want to live
Another year.
If I can’t it’s only time
I will have to drink
A lot more wine.

Loving you
Is wonderful
Loving you
Is fine
Loving you
With devotion
Loving you
So divine.
Loving you
With passion
Loving you
With desire,
Then you open
Up your mouth
It’s like stepping
In a mire.

Colours of the rainbow
Arc through your heart
Sunny days rainy days
Please hold my hand.

Waves of your emotions
Come piercing through
Your eyes
I will never question you
Please be by my side.

Loving and fire oozes
From your touch
I need the warmth
and passion
Am I asking too much.

The aroma from your skin
Sunshine from your mind
I’ll try and make you happy
Till the day we die.

Making sense
Of your lies
They  just tare
me apart
Your my man
My lovely man
You live inside
My heart
Don’t lie to me
If you don’t care
I will love you
Everywhere.
I don’t know
Why lovers cry
I suppose
it’s because of
All those
little lies.

Rubber ducky
Is having a laugh,
****** led his
People down
The wrong path.
History has a habit
Of repeating itself
No more wealth
No more health.
When the the
Rubber duck
Can’t have his day
We all know what
Happened down
capitol way.
Best of luck to the people
Who voted in the duck.
Always be careful
History books lie
Open the wrong pages
People die
God bless America.

Started at the top
Downward slide
All my happenings
Fell away wide.
Falling with gravity
Everything’s
A tragedy.
Spiralling emotions
Looking Into the abyss
Darkness is looming
Death won’t go amiss.
Kneeling at the edge
Of doom
There is no turning back
As Im falling
Everything went
Coldly black.

It was a
coldish night
When through
  the darkness
Came just a
flickering of light
A ghostly apparition
Started to appear
We went ****** cold
Frozen with fear.
It looked like it
Was out to have
Its ghoulish fun.
Bottom lip sank
We all turned
Which way and
Began to run.
I ran in hid
under
The bed
The other kids
Scarpered in panic
Nothing else was said.
It was my mum
Having some fun
With a  white
Bloodied sheet
Dressed as a skeleton.

I brought  a car
Without
Any wheels
I got it cheap
A ******
Good deal.
I got inside
To drive it away
Why do they
Let me out
On Saturdays .
I brought a hippo
And named it Fred
It went to sleep
And broke the bed
My mate Doc,
Thinks I am sick
In the head
I just thought
I was easily led.

Consuming the beans
Don’t hate the can
That’s what they want
Divide then profit
The label will not
Write a dirge
There’s not much we can do.

Into the valley
We ran with speed
Round the lake
Where the fishes feed
Down the footpath
Across the field
All this excitement
Didn’t get the appeal.
In my haste I had
Joined a race
Why was everybody
Running at a different pace.
At the end at the
finishing line,
Came in last now
That was fine.
I might have done better
If I had read the signs
Wasn’t my fault Im
Totally blind.

Send in the clowns
They have big red shoes
Highly paid people
It’s a laugh what they do.
Changing the theatre of dreams
To the big top
Send in the clowns
And sack the lot.
If Fergie was dead
He would turn in his grave
His beloved United
Can it be saved.
If these clowns don’t know
What to do
Bring back the class of
Ninety two.

Im not Spartacus
Im a cowardly  fellow
Not fighting
The ****** romans
They must
think I’m
Yellow.
I use my wits
To stay alive
I Use my brain
So I survive.
Im not being
Punctured by
A Roman spear
******* lot
Im out of here.
Im not Spartacus
Pinned to a cross
Go on fight those
Romans
It’s your
bloodied
loss.
Not for me to
Die on pastures
Red
I want to get old
Before Im dead.
Spartacus Spartacus
On a cross, so deflated
All your followers
Have been liquidated .
Im still
alive a
Roman slave,
Better alive
Than be
in a grave.

Can boundaries
Make society stable
Do’s electricity
Need a cable
Do we serve
A flag
When willing
And able
Do many words
Make up a fable
When a horse bolts
Will it need a stable
Can disability
Make you enable
Can you sell an item
Without a label
If you chop me legs of
Will I come unstable
Can you drink lots of
Of alcohol and drink
Me under the table
Have you got a garment
Made out a sable
I’ve had enough
Of this stupid rhyme
Im going home
To have *** with Mabel.

I got my kicks
On route 67
She lived at
The top
Of my
stairway
To heaven.
Her lust for life
Second to none
She was my pretty woman
In her house of fun.

Loving her was
A coming Of age
Beauty personified
My teenage rampage,
Very sweet she’s truly
Alive wow she loved my
Dimblegate drive.

I got my kicks
Out of route 68
I gave her all my
Loving
When I was at her gate.
We Get it on
we did not fret
High on the happy side
I made her wet wet wet.

I got my kicks
on route 69
That’s where
Rhiannon
My pretty woman
Didn’t walk the line

Got my kicks
on route 70
Up that stairway
I did get
plenty,
Her loving arms
My jailhouse rock
Use your imagination
I’ll do anything
For love but
I won’t do that.

Strictly come dancing
We came together
My dancing partner
Was a talented *****.
We danced the tango,
then the foxtrot
Then she gave a cough
And one of her legs
fell off.
The whole experience
Did not go to plan
We had to withdraw
From the next dance,
The French can can.

Ducking for apples
In a bowl of hot fat
Bet you a fiver
You can’t do that.

Drinking cyanide
From a coffee cup
Bet you a fiver
You can’t stand up.

Licking electricity
Cable
in the bath
Bet you a fiver
You won’t
do this
for
A laugh.

Bet you a fiver
You won’t
Jump out of a plane
Without a parachute
While
Drinking Guinness
From a champagne flute.

Bet you a fiver
You won’t do that
Stick your head
In a big cow pat.

I’ll do anything for love
I bet you a fiver you
will do that.

You have no appeal
You’re a stupid ****
Okay Thats enough
I’ve gathered that.
Ease upon this
realism bit
It’s wearing me down
It don’t quite sit.
You despise me
Grotesquely wharped
Everything I do
I come up short.
I know it’s all a silly game
But when I look in
The mirror we are
The same.

Anti this
anti that
Anti woke
Anti fat.
Anti religion
Anti despair
Anti believing
Anti care.
Anti ladies
Anti men
Anti love
Anti hate
Anti karma
Anti fate.
Anti freedom
Anti law
Anti justice
Anti life
Anti the guy
Who ****** my wife.
Actually he was cool.

It was a secret
I made a rocket
For safety sake
Kept it
in my pocket.

Going to fly it
To the sun
Sceptics are
Trying to
Spoil my fun.

Thinking of
Flying to the
Moon,
Unrealistic
Haven’t made
A big enough
Balloon.

My original
Plan was to
Surf the stars
But my
Biscuit tin
In trial run
Didn’t get
That far.

Thinking of
A master plan to
Travel the world
In a bake bean can
This little excursion
Never got
Of the ground
Me metal tin opener
Couldn’t be found.

Have you had
One of them days,
He’s packed his bags
Not left a note
Just walked out
With his hat and coat.
He’s not all there what
Dos he think
He’s left washing up
In the sink.
Have you had
One of them days
I shall not fret
Im going to the
bookmakers and have a bet.
No more slamming of
The door shut I am
Putting television on
Sitting on my ****.
He will come back
Lured by the scent of the rose
Looking glum
Looking dimmer
Then the **** can cook my dinner.

Cinderella had
Two ugly sisters
And a wicked mum
Cinderella a buxom
Lass she knew
How to have fun.
She brought a magnum
Not the ice cream type
To **** them all
when the time
Was right.
Cinderella never
Went to the ball
She wasn’t interested
In the  ****** shoe
With premeditation
She knew what to do.
Wearing a gown so
Silky red
She popped the trio
In their heads.
This wonderful
pantomime was
All the rage
Three dead people
And a ****** stage.

Your reaction
Last night a
Little to rough
All I was doing
Was calling
Your bluff.
I wondered if
Violence
becomes you
Clearly now my
Bluff was true.
I know the cover
Don’t make the book
So this little matter
I shall overlook.
please forgive me
For testing you
Like this
Can I come closer
And give you a kiss.

Just watched a film
The Battle of Verdun
Where the
French and the Germans
Looked like they
We’re having fun.
Lots of fireworks
Brightening
Up the sky
Then I realised
They were there
To die.
Who in there right
Minds come up with
These  horrors,
People never knowing
Their Tomorrows.
They didn’t learn
From the Somme
Really O,Riley
Humans are dumb.

My cat Molly
A loving cat
Died of cancer
And Thats
Just that

Can you remember
Cosmic Dave
I was a fan
Of this star man.

Who woke up
With little Suzie
After a night
A little *****.

10cc always came
In handy
She flew me
With passion
My friend Mandy .

Tricky Dicky
Clever Trevor
Dury lane theatre
They still play together

Who remembers Roxanne
And her red light
Policemen visited
Her mostly every night.

Caroline a diamond
Billie Jean a thriller
Formed a band with
Bonnie and Clyde
They called themselves
The killers.

Mickey and Jessica
They did like Jude
But things went scary
When along came Mary
Now not
cool young
dudes.

Happy i am
Dancing in flowers.
Happy I am
Feelings are great
Happy I am
Going on a date.
Happy I am
A dinner for two.
Happy I am
I must not rant,
Happy I am
Not to
get excited
And piddle
My pants.
Happy I am
I just got paid
Happy I am
I’ve never
Been laid
Happy I am
Like champagne
In a coffee cup
Im staying
Undateable
Because
He never turned up.
Sat at the table
Put on a smile
Felt undateable
Still un-relatable
Not happy I am
I feel deeply cut
Looks like
Another night in
With me legs shut.

Seas will boil
Mountains crumble
Planet still turning
Inhabitants are burning.
There’s no room
For doom and gloom
Just raise a glass and smile
Rivers will run dry
The sky will not cry
Earth still turning
Crops are burning
There’s no room
for doom and gloom
Just raise a glass and smile
Four seasons collide
Explode into one
Mass extinction
Has just begun
There’s no room
For doom and gloom
Just raise a glass and smile
Humanity dies
New life will form
From the heart of midnight
To the break of dawn
There’s no room
For doom and gloom
So raise a glass and kiss my ****
And give a little smile.

Fragile Earth
With paper wings
Fragile cities
Where no one sings.
Fragile world
Lands are burning
Planet crying slowly
Turning,
Angels and unicorns
Are abandoning ship
On a toss of a coin
The sun will dip.
Fragile humans
In a boot with no lace
Letting creation
Fall from grace.

Blue eyes crying
In the rain
No more teardrops
Down the drain
If I could get
Out of these
Chains
I would bleed
Your throat.
Black eyes crying
In the snow
Im all chained up
Nowhere to go
Release me from
These steel chains
So I can eat your
Delicious brain.
Green eyes crying in
Inclement weather
All chained up
Tarred and feathered
Looking forward
to the hangman’s noose
Your so lucky these chains
Aren’t loose.

Im going to wear
yellow shoes
to heaven ,
Put all my thoughts
On lucky number seven,
Weather sunshine
Or wether rain
My cat Molly is driving
Me insane.
I once kissed the queen
Upon her ****
Won mastermind
Did not use a pass
I write this ****
Because I’m not
Mentally well
My grammar is ****
And i cannot smell.
I just wish we can all
Live in peace and
My humble abode
As a twenty year lease.
Sometimes I want to
Write good poetry
But that talent
Is not in me.

Walking into
wonderland
An awesome
battlefield
Where poppies
and daises grow
Dead bodies
Are it’s yield
Walking into
Wonderland
Soldiers
Panic freeze
Bullets breaking
Lonely flesh,
Doing it with ease.
What is all this madness
Do we get a prize,
In this wonderland it’s
The ground you have
Fertilised .

I am alone
Dark is my room
The cockroaches hide
Black roses can’t bloom.
Windows don’t let
Through the sun
In my room
There is no fun.
I think I’m the
Living dead
Stuck in a book
That no one has read.
I am alone
Dark is my room
Serpents and demons
Bring in the doom.
I need light
There is no light
I need love
There is no love
I need
There is no need.

Afraid of Clare she
Drove me insane
Lost all my hair
Now Im in pain.
Said to Louise
Never to part
Carnivorous *****
Went and
Ate my heart.
Tried dating Marie
She broke my back
She was wonderful
No charm no tack.
Never was one
To hold on to
a sinking raft,
I just think it’s me
I am to flipped
Stupidly daft.

Don’t get the picture
Bemused befuddled
Edges are frayed
In our  jigsaw puzzle.
On the table
Strewn across the floor
Pieces of the picture
Don’t fit anymore.
Once we were
An orchard
Now a apple
And a pear
We our
Not heeding
The signs of
A dying love affair.

The cabin in the woods
Where I the crooked man lives
Where Every thing is taken
And no mercy will i give.
Happiness don’t belong
Behind the cabin door.
Just I the crooked man
A bloodstained floor,
So if you like horror
This is the place is  for you
Bring four
friends
if
you need too,
Bring your son
Bring your daughter
More you bring
More I the crooked man
Can slaughter,
No need to knock
Walk straight in
Horror starts when
Your all within.

You look at me
With a naughty smile
Shall I go or
Stay awhile.
This the conundrum
I have to work out
You are an enigma
A twisted mood
Entice me in
with a smile and food.
Do I accept
Or do I exclude,
You look at me
If I was prey
You smile
Like a game
In which
you play
It’s addictive but
Not much to say,
I smile back
And think I’ll decline
And  so live
another day.

Loneliness is
Happiness
In a
Peculiar
Way.
There is no
Right there is
No wrong,
Everyday
A different
Song.
Boring sometimes
I do agree,
I’ve always
Been lonely
That’s just for me.
Hey ** I got
A cat
That’s right
A matter of
Fact I’ve got
A cat.hey **.

Women care
About their  hair
It makes them feel good
To the male of the species
They just wish they could

I have a flaw
Loving I’m not
Born twisted
A bad shot.

A closed door
Un sung song
Born twisted
Oh so wrong.

Mother crow
Father a ****
Liability me
Fancy that.

Never to be old
So ****** cold
Sickly of heart
Blackened lung
I was destined
To die so young

I did die
No tears were shed
So all my flaws
We’re put to bed.

Into the grave
I was put
I was unhinged door
Finally shut.

Deaf
Dumb
And
Blind
All I
Have is
Touch
Please please
Cuddle me
I don’t need
Much.
I have
A heart
It lies
Within
So please
Caress
My tender
Skin.
I have
A nose
And I can
Smell so
You can kiss
My lips
As well .
I cannot see
The stars above
Given time
We shall
Make love.

Knock on the door
There she stood
Woman of my
Haunted dreams
I couldn’t hold back
I had to scream.
*******
In she fell
It wasn’t fun
Meeting the wife’s
Skeleton
She did say to me
You’ll never be free
I’ll haunt you
You ******* for
Killing me.
I smiled and
Didn’t know what to say,
Something tells me she’s
Here to stay
It can be hours of
Creative fun
Living with the
wife’s skeleton.

80 years on from
A terrible plight
Footballs tribalism
Still ain’t got it right.
Hatred is hatred
What happened
To the Jews
May one day might
Happen to you.
Colour of the shirt
Colour of your skin
No matter what
Religion
Hate creeps in.
Religion tribalism
Is it in the shirt
Think about the
People who get
-ucking hurt.
80years on from
A terrible plight
Fascism is growing
This can’t be right.
Humans are stupid
Hatred will not cease
Because there’s no
Profit in ****** peace.

Sometimes I fly
Like a hawk
On the wing
I like to hear
The bluebells sing
Sometimes
I laugh
Sometimes
I cry but
Most of all
I want to die.

I’m a raspberry ripple
My sky is never blue
A twisted  bitter *******
What am I to do.

Sometimes I dream
Of a better place
So I can get out
Of the human race
Find me some bluebells
In which I can lie
And pass away and finally
Die.

Brian the snail
Turbo fast
Entered races
In Every race
He came last.
Raced the tortoise
Raced the sloth
Kept on racing
But still he lost.
Brian would race
With a sluggish
Smile
Lost to the hare
By a country mile.
Brian the snail
Raced
Ellie the elephant
You guessed it
He lost
but at a price
Brian was duly
squashed.
They retired his number,
Number seven
So Brian the snail
could race
Again in heaven.

1+2=4
This is why I
Showed maths
The door
Algebra and binary
Are they confusing
Or is it just me.
Angles and
Denominators
Maths teachers all
Base dictators.
Obtuse and
Isosceles
All they gave me
Was
Brain freeze.
Times, dividing adding up
Its not my cup of tea
Numbers **** there
Not  my thing
I ask you this can Einstein sing
Most probably.

Ten out of ten
I do rate
The Daleks
Tip top
Deadly great,
A lot of ****
Going on at late
We need these
Daleks
To exterminate.

A camel with one ****
Could do better job than
Putin and Trump
Please please don’t leave
It to late,
Get  the Daleks
To exterminate.

Royal family
I know it’s
To late
Buckingham palace
Should have shown
Prince Andrew
The golden gates.
Me
I would of got the
Daleks
to exterminate.

All this crap in the world today
Where terrorists come out
And like to play.
Just call the Daleks
Whom I rate
Dr Who won’t mind
Let them exterminate