Lying on the floor
Naked wearing
Only a pork pie hat,
The first thing
I thought you can
do better than that.
Hour glass figure
Hair in rollers
With your style
My lovely
You should be
Wearing a bowler.

What came next
You guessed it
I didn’t have ***
And do all that
I was hungry
And ate the hat.

Blinded by your
Gorgeous looks
A lovely cover
To a dangerous book..
Every chapter
Twists and turns
Problem is one
Shall not learn
So Im blinded
But I can see
I have an imagination
I carry it around
With me.

Candy red
Apple lips
Gorgeous
Figure
Loving hips.
Beautiful eyes
Sharp of mind
Loving nature
Truly kind.
Angel  wings
Sprout from
Your back
Courage
Forever you
Will not lack.
Your cheeky
smile
Could turn
Back time.
Please if I ask
You nicely
Leave me alone or I will
Get a restraining order
Out on you.

My mate ted
Had his head
blown of,
He’s dead.
My mate Stan
Stood on a mine
His legs flew of
Life’s so unkind.
Freddie Drew
Got blown up
in his tank,
His mum got
A letter, his burnt
Body stank.
Many innocent people
Turned into killers
Turning flesh into
Body bag fillers.
Mothers fathers sons and daughters
Succumbed to there deaths
Just all been slaughtered.
All good memories have been wiped clean
No good memories war is just obscene.

I dance with my shadow
Im so ******* alone
I feel like a skeleton
Stripped to the bone.
My emotions are in turmoil
I fight to stay alive
I need someone to love
So I can thrive.
Where do’s  someone play
When avenues  are closed
This is the conundrum
When life is froze.

Brian the snail
Turbo fast
Entered races
In Every race
He came last.
Raced the tortoise
Raced the sloth
Kept on racing
But still he lost.
Brian would race
With a sluggish
Smile
Lost to the hare
By a country mile.
Brian the snail
Raced
Ellie the elephant
You guessed it
He lost
but at a price
Brian was duly
squashed.
They retired his number,
Number seven
So Brian the snail
could race
Again in heaven.

1+2=4
This is why I
Showed maths
The door
Algebra and binary
Are they confusing
Or is it just me.
Angles and
Denominators
Maths teachers all
Base dictators.
Obtuse and
Isosceles
All they gave me
Was
Brain freeze.
Times, dividing adding up
Its not my cup of tea
Numbers **** there
Not  my thing
I ask you this can Einstein sing
Most probably.

Aunty Mary
Had a canary
Half way down
Her draws
It was there
For 25 years
And won the
Victoria cross

This proud train had
Fallen of the track,
Of to the scrap yard
No turning back,
Last trip in to town
Past the cathedral
With steeple
Then committed suicide
Buy throwing itself
In front of a cue of people.

Japanese kamikaze pilot
Thought he was hard.
Crashed his plane
In his family’s scrap yard.


Went to hospital
Freddie was low
For a blood test
Result didn’t show
Freddie feeling miffed
I said to him b positive.

I had obsession with
My  football team
Happy wife so
It seemed.
My lover left me
She gave no reasons
I was with her
For seven seasons.

We had a kidnapping
At are school
Police and the teacher
We’re ****** fools,
Panicking eyes wide shut
I gave him a nudge
And my mate woke up.

What do’s the future
Hold for me
So I made an appointment
With a psychic
Named Lee,
I thought this psychic
Was totally ****
He cancelled my
appointment saying
No way I was going
To be able to make it.

My mate
Harry Rag
He liked to talk
He liked to brag.
He said he made 6 figures
Last year,
Bragging this to me
I found out
he was the
Worst employer
at the
Toy factory.

Blackbird chirping
For his mate
What he didn’t know
It’s what the foxy ate.
Nature is a blissful place
When other creatures
Can eat your face.

Your touch
Sends shivers
Down my spine
You are my lover
Sweet taste of wine.

You are the cherry
On the perfect cake
I love you
There’s no
Mistake

I have no lies
Only truths
Always open
Never aloof

Lips on lips
Skin on skin
Warmth of a touch
Warms me within.

Both
Being deaf
Both
Being blind
Having touch
That’s just fine

Imagination,
Our hearts
Entwine
Together
We make up
Our own
Sunshine.

Our skies
Are dark
We don’t
Have much
We get our
Loving
Simply through
Touch

Sweet.

You hide your feelings
Inside a web of doom
You must take a hit
If you want to bloom.
A candle can’t burn
If it’s never alight
There’s a sun in you
Somewhere
Waiting to shine bright.
You make everything
Difficult
It’s hard to relate
I want to be your lover
Not just a date.

Blood runs cold
Down blooded steel
No time to reflect
On how you feel.
Soldier oh soldier
Stalwart and true
The lives you take
Become apart of you.
Corrupting thoughts
Haunting your mind
Taking your eyes
Where the sun
Don’t shine
Barbed wire soul
Acid shot eyes
Aftermath of war
Mother cries.
Blood runs cold down
Blooded steel
Ask for help
Before god we kneel.

What was I doing
Im so abhorred
I went and
brought a
Taylor
Swift record.
Don’t get me wrong,
She puts on a great
show
Buying her
records
No No No No
I think I was transfixed
By her lovely red lips.
Piercing eyes
I brought that record
And
I don’t know
why.

Solved a problem
It wasn’t wise
I brought a gun
Someone was going
To die
Nobody was listening
I was going insane
So I put a bullet in my brain.
Solved a problem It wasn’t
Wise if you got a gun
Well something dies..

Bill and Ben
A couple of
Gay men
Like to smoke
Some ****
They liked
Their pots
Gave ******
A shot.yes
They did
Indeed.

Bill and Ben
A couple
of dead men
There pots
They did
Bleed
Bill and Ben
A couple
Of gay men
Should have
stayed with
****.

Ten thousand years
Living on a rock with
Only one shoe and
Only one sock.
The waves have
Battered me taken
It’s toll,
Eaten me time and again
And solidified my soul.
I’ve prayed to the
god, titan of the sea,
I want to die
So please release me
Ten thousand years
Living on a rock
I need new shoes
And another sock.

Lungs are tight
I breathe in fear
Eyes are painful
No shadow to cast.
Im in my room
My temple of doom.
How long will this
Panic last.

Xenophobia
People strange
Fear of the unknown
Fear of change
Lungs go tight
Breathing shallow.
It is not right.

Anxiety will squeeze
Anxiety will freeze
No blossoming spring
No summer sun
No autumn rain
Anxiety
the fearful pain.

I met  a lady
Seemed so sweet
She oozed class
From her
head to her feet.
She opened her gate
I took the bait,
Then all of a sudden
I was covered in fear,
I had become another
One of her souvenir’s
Being lured by her
Gate of hell.
Meeting sweet ladies
Sometimes you just
Can’t  tell.

Sweet Marie
Girl of my dreams,
Sadistic *****
Classy obscene.
Dream lover
Dressed to ****,
Nymphomaniac
She loves to thrill.
Cyanide lips
Fantastic *******,
*** on the agenda
Was a daily fest.
I am her medicine
Lucky old me,
Im in her clutches
Never wanting to be free.

As I was walking down a street
A ******* I did meet
A simple man he got upset
He told me he was a flibbertigibbet.
Talking away most of the day
Bumfuzzled he became,
Dagnabit I don’t need this dinglebob
So I sent him on his way
Everything went cattywampus
The day went a bit agathokakological
Now writing this *******
Im starting to feel
Floccinaucinihilipilificational

Caught the 707
Pan Am plane
We took of speedily
Up into the rain
Flying along
In the sky so blue
There’s where my
Luck changed
when I met you.
Passenger sitting
In seat number 1
Oozed class and style
So I sat in seat number 2
Sat there for awhile.
She looked at me
Weirdly then asked
If I was stupidly inane
She said get out of the **** pit
Im trying to fly this plane.
Then this man came in
Wearing a braided hat
I said I am sorry
for this wrongful mishap.

Im not doing
This tug of war,
It’s upsetting
The children
Thats for sure.
The rope we pull
when it breaks it’s
Going to be a
Hurtful mistake.
Can’t you see it’s
Not all about us.
All our friends
And children
have become
Nonplussed
Please my darling
Don’t shut the doors
Because all it
causes is
These tug
of wars,

We hurt each other
In so many ways
Blue skies were blue
But now just
grey
Our we so different
Like chalk and cheese
Hurting each other
So ease up
please.
We seemed to be
Road blocks
Stopping the fun,
We got to get out
Of the grey
And let in the sun.

No bookends
on the shelf
Im dancing
with myself.
Free and
all alone
Stripped down
to the bone.
Nobody wants
No body cares to
Take a risk
That I might
even exist.
All seem so
unaware,
Im dancing with myself
Still stuck high on a shelf
I want to be freed
Please don’t overlook
Because I am your
Over friendly
Kuma Surtra book.

Enigma of stone
On hallowed land.
In winter the snow
Shall coat,
The wise old owl
Is having a cuddle
With a nice
and friendly stoat.

Hydra and the nymph
Warming their
minds to spring,
The northern lights
Do a dance
As the blackbirds
Begin to sing.

Rays of sunshine
Summer has begun
Hare’s and bluebells
Do a jive
Enigma of stone on
hallowed land as the
Countryside comes alive.

Green turns to brown
As the warm air fades
The onset of winter
draws near,
The stoat turns to the wise
Old owl and says let’s
Get the **** out of here.

Are you
running from
the pain
The crows
will never
leave your
Brain.

Your to low
To out run
The crow
The continual pecking
Inside your mind
Will in the end
Turn you blind.

The continuous
Crowing inside
Your head
Makes you lose
Your glow
Time after time
Blow after blow
You can’t out run
That crow.

Lifespan
Of my
Pet fly
I went
And zapped
It
I don’t know
Why.
I wrote
an eulogy
And told
It later
In the obituaries
Inside the fly paper.

Who am I ?
a player
In your game
Will I be just an
Encounter
Never knowing
My name
A night of passion
A night of wine
Silky touch
Loving hands
Im I to be
A one night stand.
Hope so
It feels so right
Only problem
I got to tell
The wife

I need a woman
She needs to be kind
Im in a predicament
And tragically blind.
She needs to be hardy
I am ill tempered
And flawed,
I like good music
And a good dance floor.
She needs to be understanding
I like my walks
To be able to argue
And lots of talk.
A dating app is not my way
So I will have to put
Up with myself
For another day.

Beatles had
their yesterday
Bowie had his
laughing gnome
Elvis in his ghetto
With his
gramophone.
Frank Sinatra
Flew to the moon
Kirk Kobain
died to soon.
Janis Joplin
Mr cohen
Had there
Chelsea hotel
From the sky
John
Denver
Fell.
oh well.
Johnny cash
Had his ring
Of fire,
Ian Dury
Who had his
Rhythm stick
Whom I
admired.
Buddy Holly
Had his
Peggy sue
When he died
She felt the pain
His music
didn’t
Die
on that plane.
Many artists
Have passed Away
Some were just
having a laugh
Some went drug
crazy
And died in a bath.
Jimmy Hendrix
Alvin Lee
still play the blues
It will be
On your turn table
It’s up to you
To choose.

I got a little problem doc
Every morning  I have
A regular **** at 8 o’clock
That’s alright said the doc
I said no it isn’t
I don’t wake up to 9 o’clock.
Doc.

Riding
along
Im a
Nuclear
Bomb
Top of the
The world
Singing
A song
I was
Up there
Where
I belong
Yippee.
I had
To much
Charm
To do any
Harm,
Maybe I
Could work
On a sweet
Little farm
Maybe
Go swimming
In a nice
Cool tarn.
I wish I was
Something
Else
A readable
Book upon
A shelf.
But I got
A job to do
Apparently
To protect all
Of You.

He liked
To cross dress
My darling reg
Of to parties
With his
Meat and
two veg .
Blonde wig
Make up on
Always liked
The limelight
Always made
A scene
An ode for
Reg
A gorgeous
Wonderful
Talented
Drag queen.

Tinker tailor
Soldier spy
Opened
A laundrette
To wash and dry.
Contact this
Foursome
If you need
Something
Washed out
Of your life,
Maybe a mother in law
Maybe your wife.
Contract washing
Cleansing out
Phone the laundry
We’re out and about

Kings and queens
Live in castles
Out of the orphanage
Came a ***** rascal.
This orphan he
Had no dreams
It was all about
Murdering this
King and queen,
See the queen was
his mother
She had an affair
The boy was told
Mother and father
We’re dead and
They did not care.
He hatched a plan
They must atone
This orphan rascal
Was heir to the throne.
The plan was a scandal
A fall from grace
The story in the tutorials
Took pride of place.
This orphan boy who
was Destined to be king
Now another chapter begins.

Im a little snail
My girlfriends
A slug
Isn’t it funny
They ridiculed
Us
Just because
Michelle
didn’t
Have a shell,
All my species
Can go to hell.
We will get
Married walk
Down the path
We’re determined
To have the
Last laugh.

Troubled mind
Troubled soul
Troubled with anger
Troubled with cold
Troubled emotions
Troubled with love
We are mucked up
By all  of the above.
Trouble with me
Trouble with you
Two mucked up
Lovers without a clue.
Trouble with trouble
It sticks like glue
To erratic people
Like me and you.

Solved a problem
With employment
Uneducated me
Im raising the school
Leaving age
To just sixty three

Solved the problem
With guns and the poppers,
Give mothers free Durex
They do make good
crime stoppers

Solved the problem
Of being overweight a
Diet that has no doubt
Don’t let anything
Through your opening
You’re  Big  north and south.

Solved the problem
Of  a noisy neighbour
So I did my friends
A kindly favour
With my money
I brought a gun
You can guess
What happened
I had some fun.

Solved the problem
Of the driver who
Drove carelessly
With speed.
Semtex I put
under the dash
When it went of
He died and crashed
No more accidents
Caused by speed
Because this *******
Driver is pushing up
Weeds.

Solved the problem
Of society’s crooks
Cut of their hair
Charge up the chair

Solve the problem
Of media trolls
There arseholes
Slush and slurry
When they order
A takeaway
Put lots of arsenic
In there curry

First animal
In space
Her name
Was June
She was the
Cow who
Jumped
Over the
Moon.

First person
To visit the
North Pole
Was my mate
Old king Cole,
He got there
In a Ferrari
Or was it a rolls.

First transatlantic
Flight
Was made by
Someone I
Hold dear
Flying from
Newfoundland
To Ireland
Was my
Best friend Mr
Buzz Lightyear.

First person
To top Everest
Was In 1953,
Blonde hair
Iconic dress
Getting to top
Without a rest
Wow that cold
Wind would blow
For my girlfriend
Marilyn Munro.

Donald Duck
And
And the first lady
Mouse,
A comedy duo
Playing in the
Disney house.

The FBI
The CIA
Organisations
That have had
there day.
Donald Duck
Is now in charge
Don’t bother
With the criminals
Just Leave them
at large.

Donald Duck
Gone orange
He’s been busy
With his quill
Now look
WHO,s standing still.


The ****** in the Disneyland
Sorry the therapist in the
White House has a difficult
job To do
Donald and Minnie
Don’t Not have a clue.
maybe.
maybe.not.

Knew a girl
Called Mabel
Two wooden
Legs short
Of a table.
Legs made of
Ash
She made some
Cash
By drinking
People under
The table.

Libraries have
there bibliophiles
***** feeders
have there dens
Vincent had his
paint brushes
Enid Blyton had
her pens.
Churches have there
Stories about
good and bad
Asylums have
there straight jackets
For people who
Go mad.
Dr Jekyll has Mr Hyde
An iceberg needs the cold
My old grandad
Needs a wig he’s
Going awfully bald.

I will remember
You in high esteem,
Upright and smart
Always clean.
Never a bad word
Perfect prose
You were the star
In my picture show.
You were the sparkle
Inside my perfect dream,
We went together
Like peaches and cream.
They will cremate your body
Your flesh will burn
Then  they give me your
Ashes in a silvery urn.
Your memories will dance
With the stars that shine
Wonderful person
Loving and kind.

Light went out
wonderful
Friend
A bundle
Of fun
She was my
Mum.

Centre of the
Family tree a
Lovely woman
To my sister
And me.

Light went out
Memories will stay
She installed in us
To live everyday.

She took her
Memories
To her grave.

Where for out there
Juliet
I am Romeo
Give me a bit
Of slap and tickle
Of to war I go.
In the carnage Juliet
Sometimes I
might
Get some
time
free,
Then I’ll send
You all my love
In sweet
verses
Of poetry.

Heads are splattered
Insanity running rife
If I get out of this
**** hole,
Juliet
will you
Be my
Darling wife.

I am Juliet
Im having a
wonderful life
**** of Romeo
You *******
I’ll never be
your wife.

Shadows
returning
They cannot
Turn
Shadows of the
Devil
Forever they
Burn
They march
To hell
No liberty
Bell.
They did
their deed
On the living
They feed
The devils shadows
They shall not bleed.
Being good
Do not cower
The shadows
Of the devil
Cannot devour.

You are the explosion
Inside my dreams
A kaleidoscope of
Colours blues
Yellows and greens.
The picture you paint
For the love
from me
Cannot be shown
Don’t you see.
You can’t put
Love inside a frame
Your only in my dreams
Which is quite a shame.
Lovers in dreams
That’s where we shall stay
A kaleidoscope of Colours
For a rainy day.

Sitting on your
Golden throne
Silver spoon
In mouth,
What are you
Going to do
With All that
Wealth.
It’s not for
Me to say
Could you give
It all away,
Times is running
Out for you
Sell your soul
To me
It will cost
You all your
Wealth to
Live for
Eternity