Japanese kamikaze pilot
Thought he was hard.
Crashed his plane
In his family’s scrap yard.


Went to hospital
Freddie was low
For a blood test
Result didn’t show
Freddie feeling miffed
I said to him b positive.

I had obsession with
My  football team
Happy wife so
It seemed.
My lover left me
She gave no reasons
I was with her
For seven seasons.

We had a kidnapping
At are school
Police and the teacher
We’re ****** fools,
Panicking eyes wide shut
I gave him a nudge
And my mate woke up.

What do’s the future
Hold for me
So I made an appointment
With a psychic
Named Lee,
I thought this psychic
Was totally ****
He cancelled my
appointment saying
No way I was going
To be able to make it.

My mate
Harry Rag
He liked to talk
He liked to brag.
He said he made 6 figures
Last year,
Bragging this to me
I found out
he was the
Worst employer
at the
Toy factory.

Friendly people
Everywhere,
About in the cities
Without a care.
Pavement walkers
Drinking coffee beans
While
Red light girls are
Trying to be seen,
Friendly people
All different shapes
All types of genders
Going on dates,
Shops along
the bustling street
Open selling
there tasty wares
Happy  people
Eating
smiling
Everywhere.

Wide boys everywhere
These people will con
You if you’re unaware.
They will take  your money
Take your phone
Swipe the ice cream from
Your tasty cone,
They don’t drink coffee
They just  steal
from shops
Ducking and diving
Evading the cops,
There’s unhappy people
Everywhere
They roam the streets
These people do not care.

Ten out of ten
I do rate
The Daleks
Tip top
Deadly great,
A lot of ****
Going on at late
We need these
Daleks
To exterminate.

A camel with one ****
Could do better job than
Putin and Trump
Please please don’t leave
It to late,
Get  the Daleks
To exterminate.

Royal family
I know it’s
To late
Buckingham palace
Should have shown
Prince Andrew
The golden gates.
Me
I would of got the
Daleks
to exterminate.

All this crap in the world today
Where terrorists come out
And like to play.
Just call the Daleks
Whom I rate
Dr Who won’t mind
Let them exterminate

Scary ghosts of uck halls
Threw lavish parties
And summer *****.
One criteria on the
Invitation read
You had to be
Physically dead

I didn’t stop me
I had a plan
I disguised myself
As a baked bean can

My Skelton mate
Went to the bar
Asked for a pint
And a mop
It was different
That night he
Never spilt a drop.

The band played thriller
Drinks went down well
Trap door opened
Out popped lucifer
From the road to hell.

Ghost of Dracula
And Frankenstein
Dancing singing
Drinking bottles
Of wine.

Party went on well
Past five
The bouncers evicted
Me because they
Found out  I was alive.

Next year
I am
Going to
be dead
Just like the
invitation read.

Ghostly ghosts
Of uck hall
Great parties
But not for all.

Dreamt of a happy
Christmas
It never came
We all went down
Sick
****** shame.
Vaccinations
What a load of shat
Hot honey and
A lemon drink
And a cuddle
from the cat.
New year come and went
Bank balance didn’t
Take a dent.
Me and the cat were
Nearly back to square one
So all you people in poetry
Land have a good year
And lots of fun.

Can you remember
Cosmic Dave
I was a fan
Of this star man.

Who woke up
With little Suzie
After a night
A little *****.

10cc always came
In handy
She flew me
With passion
My friend Mandy .

Tricky Dicky
Clever Trevor
Dury lane theatre
They still play together

Who remembers Roxanne
And her red light
Policemen visited
Her mostly every night.

Caroline a diamond
Billie Jean a thriller
Formed a band with
Bonnie and Clyde
They called themselves
The killers.

Mickey and Jessica
They did like Jude
But things went scary
When along came Mary
Now not
cool young
dudes.

England football
Tuchell in charge
For us supporters
A German thats hard.
We’ve had an Italian
We’ve a had a swede
Still it’s just pure fantasy.
This manager has no class
Like all the rest
Not good enough
To wipe Alf Ramseys ****.
The trophy room
Countable of one.
It’s like having bullets
But no ****** gun,
Tuchell singing god
Save the king
Thats going to be
A tricky thing.
Football football
Coming home
Fantasy football
On me phone.