I went
From the
Nadir to the
Zenith my dear
I walked and walked
I didn’t stop then all of a
Sudden I had reached the top
My reward was this fantastic view
Top of my empire where the sky is blue
When looking out smiling without a care a
Thought ran through my head what is life with a stair.

Blind man
Crossing
The road
Tap tap tap
Splat
Oh ****
Said the
Driver I
Didn’t see that.

Been on the drinks
With Vincent
Van Gogh
I asked him if he
wanted a beer
He replied
no thanks matey
Because
I got one ear.

Joan of arc
Ice lollies
Only for
The rich
Hot,  black
And
Attached to
A stick.

Basil,
Rosemary
And good
Girl
Thyme,
Good *******
Partners in crime
Supermarket
Products
They would steal,
Anything they
could get their
Hands on to
Make a  hot meal.
Lasagne is their
Favourite
They liked it
Nice and hot
Then having a chuckle
All three of
Them laid on top.

I was Albert Pierrepoint
Apprentice so called
hangman’s mate.
We hanged them
in Pentonville
And buried them
In high gate.
A sad job
we had to do
Was hang a lovely
Lass called Ruth Ellis
Just before the hanging
She asked us if she
Could be hanged
in the ****
So I said yes.
Seems not right
To be so ****** rude.
She had her last meal
Chicken soup
Then she walked out
To face the noose.
She dropped
Her gown
Albert was all at sea,
Ruth said why are
You staring at me.
I’d like to say missus
Ellis you have
an attractive cut
She replied Im all
Yours if you keep
Your trap shut.

***** habits
Me think
The wife leaves
Washing up
in the sink.
She knows
That’s where
I like to wee
***** habit
She’s got
Do you agree.
In the bathroom
Her ***** habits
Make me laugh
She knows I like
Dump in the bath.
She’s got one last habit
A backside thorn
She’s got the remote
When I want to
Watch ****.
Im going to get
Some ***** habits
of my own
I have to
leave her
And find a home,
Alone.