I sat in evening rain today
And read about my loss
The things I was afraid to say
For fear of what it cost

I read my sorrow hard and sharp
And wept some bitter tears
My demons all around me harp
As did in early years

I saw the pain I felt so deep
It broke me to my core
I had abandoned my belief
For sorrow evermore

But as I looked at years gone by
On this celestial globe
I knew that pain, I would Abide
By one ember of hope

I wondered what would come about
If things had come too soon;
One less submission, one more shout
Would I sing a diff'rent tune?

But no, the order had to last;
One more or less thing said,
And things would not have come to pass
That maybe I still need

I saw amidst the tears and pain
The hands of someone great
Who all my hope and love sustains
And orders all my fate

And wept I more some bitter tears
But not for what had passed
I mourned for all the sorrowed years
With no wind to my mast

I praised the one who gave me hope
To hold on just once more
To wait for just one inky stroke
Of all the love He swore

I thank Him now in my distress
For all that happened then
For how could I have found such rest
Without the driving wind

For indeed in my darkest hour
I hid me deep inside
And only by His cleansing pow'r
Could I in hope reside

I see my life across a plane
A tangle and a mess
But oh the lovely, hearty grasp
That He does all things best

So though in dark I oft' reside
Languish in sorrow's drought
I know my King is by my side
And He will lead me out.

We long for presence
For someone to hold our hand
And make sure we are okay
To pull us to safety
When we feel our lives
Slipping
Like tethered rope
Through sweaty fingers
Torn between letting go
Dropping
Falling
Fearing
Fracturing
On the rocks below
Or daring to think
That maybe things will be okay
So you hold on to the rope
Hand shaking
Fingers gripping
Blood Dripping
Down injured
Weary
Hands
Holding hard to the heartfelt hope
That someone will save you from Drowning
When there was never anyone
At the other end of the rope
So You watch the videos
Drink and love
Hoping it will bring you back
From the clammy
Gray
You've been
buried in so long
We long for presence
Because that's what we need
Someone to hold the other end of the rope
Someone to give us life again
We need someone
To put their arm beneath us
And help us stand

Hush little darling, don't you cry
I know you have fiery skies
Bad times now and more to come
Save your tears now, little one

Hush little baby don't you cry
It is raining hard tonight
Peace will come when sun doth rise
Listen to my lullabies

Hear my voice and lull to sleep
Pray the Lord your soul to keep
Hush little baby don't you cry

*Everything's gonna be alright

All things must end
Good and bad
We don't always get happy endings
But if we're lucky,
And very, very blessed,
We might keep getting happy beginnings.

Oh and what a relief
To wake up
And find the monsters in my head
Were nothing but a nightmare
Locked
And seared
On the backs of my waking eyelids