Haven't felt like this in awhile
The anger
The sadness
The need for red
Running
Down
And
Down
For anything
But this
But I was okay
I was fine
The relief I took for granted
But it always comes back
I just wanted to be sane for a
Little
While
Longer
I moved back home, and all the things I felt before- the suffocation, but loneliness; the anger, but brokenness; the sadness, but fear...it's all back. It always returns. I just thought that maybe this once, I would lose it forever, I hoped it wouldn't come back. But it always does. And I understand now why people hurt themselves, because I would do anything to distract myself from the pain of my existence.