Marisa Lu Makil

Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2020

Wreck

I ruin things
And people
I always have
It's my fault
I came
And you loved me
And I loved you back
I still do
But now
Now I have to leave
And I'm so so sorry

Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2020

Good and Faithful Servant

Though winds may blow
And seas could rage
Our Lord and Father
Stays the same

Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2020

Pathway through the Clouds

I went in search of
Something
A daydream
Wrapped in a mystery
Surrounded by if's and maybe's
But I found instead
A revelation
Perhaps it found me
A reminder of
A life that I have not yet lived
A life I still want to

Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2020

Trophy

Humans are just humans
Friendships are good
And healthy,
And fun,
But none of us is any more than flesh
And
Blood
You don't need to earn anyone
And they don't need to satisfy you

Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2020

Finish Line

With us
It was always a competition
I needed to win
Well, I got what I wanted
And I'm still unhappy
I win

I've always had this inner feeling that if I'm not the best, then I'm not worth anything. So my entire life is full of a myriad disappointments because no one is the best at everything. I think that has been the issue with me and so many people. I wanted to be the best. And now she's gone, and making kids contrary to our religious beliefs. I guess I won. But this just isn't what I wanted.

Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2020

When the Darkness comes

I keep wondering
What I would say
To my younger self
I would say
You are beautiful
You are wanted
You are loved
But it doesn't really matter
I wouldn't believe me anyway

Marisa Lu Makil May 2020

The Words I would say

I don't like myself when I'm confident
I would rather carry the demons
On my own
Then put them on those around me

I've had a couple people tell me how much my confidence has grown in the last few years, but I'm honestly a **** when I'm confident. 😂😂😂😂