Home isn't a place

More often than not

It's a person

And I have to say

I don't know where home is anymore

It always seems to help
A kind of self...self-help
To diagnose this

It always seems better
Released from the fetters
Of my emotions

I can smile

You lied to me
Again

I knew you would
But then

I never thought
It would

Be something like
Like this

Now what do I
I do?

I decided
To move

To move on and
Forward

To forgive and
Forget

While the rest of you
Are trying to impress everyone
And live
On
The
Wild side
Some of us
Are just trying to have
A normal
Ordinary
Life

It's not as easy
As drugs
Or *****

It's not something
You pick
Or choose

It's not a thing
You can
Control

It blackens you
Like soot
Or coal

I wish it were
Simple
Easy

But it's not
Something you fix

I wish there was a manual
Telling me what to say
A speech to give to someone
To not push them away

I wish someone wanted me
The way I wanted them
Someone to fall in love with
My loneliness to stem

"You'll find someone" they tell me
But I don't want to wait
I want to find someone now
But no, I'll have to stay

The search is never over
I'll look for all my days
Who knows if I will find someone
To be my hope and stay?

It's easy for everyone
Else, they've all found they're love
A perfect match for perfect ones
A match made up above

They don't get to say that
I'll "find someone someday"
It's easy to look out on me
And with confidence say:

"You'll find your special someone
He's out there somewhere, dear"
I don't want him to be "out there"
•
•
•
•
I want him to be here.