developed a little
bad habit per say
started smoking
cigarrettes on
summer nights
each one filling
my lungs with
thick smoke leaving
tastes of you lingering
on my lips

they were all crossfaded
and brendan probably
doesn't remember telling
me that everything was
*so beautiful and you look
like pocahontas

I will not
apologize
for wanting
to know what
it would be like
to sleep near him,
to know what he sounded
like as he was drifting off, to see
his tired eyes in the morning.
Because I was trying to find
something in   someone else
for the first t i m e  in forever
and  that's  okay.   I  will  not
apologize     for being selfish
just this one   time when my
life  has  been  a     torrential
downpour           o f         m e
g                        
i      
     v
                       i
      n
g            
every   ounce   I  have inside
of me to   o t h e r   people up
until this point.  I just needed
to  know  how  it  would  feel
to  be  next  to  someone  ­new.