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8.0k · Feb 2014
to my little sister
marina Feb 2014
i.
no matter what your teachers
may tell you, your grades are not a
measure of how smart you are, that
has more to do with how you handle your
heart, and i have never seen anyone love
more fiercely or smart than you.  

ii.
i have let boys touch me just because
i was scared to lose them; don't let them
lay a hand on you without you asking
them to, you are worth more than that.

iii.
people will walk away, but you've known
that already.  keep your chin up so that when
they turn back one last time, they know that
you don't need them.
you don't need them.

iv.
i hope you find somebody that holds your
hands, even when you're nervous and
they start to sweat.  if they pull away,
you come find me and i swear,
i won't let go.
i just love her more than words
3.6k · Mar 2014
i'm always scared (10w)
marina Mar 2014
and i wish i knew
how to love you
back
marina Jan 2014
a year ago
you told me
that i am
filled with
lightning

(i
finally
believe
you)
(( ))
2.8k · Apr 2013
spring cleaning
marina Apr 2013
you still sweep me off
my feet, but it's time
to shake away the
dust you left on me.
it's spring and it's lovely out and the sun reminds me of summer and oh my gosh, time cannot go fast enough.  40 more days left.  only 26 of those are school days.  3 of those days are exam days.  
somebody teach me how to make time fly.
2.6k · Apr 2014
[i keep on worrying]
marina Apr 2014
i worry about him all
the time*
i told you and
you shook your head like
you knew all too well

eleven nights later,
you tell me to get some
sleep, you say i worry about
you all the time


and i'm starting to think
it's code for people who
are trying to say 'i love you'
to someone who doesn't
love them back
[ ]
do i even make sense?  when the **** did my life become a ******* love triangle?  this is ridiculous
2.5k · Mar 2013
flower children
marina Mar 2013
we stole dandelions from the fields
like hard-time criminals
and watched as they melted
in the palms of our hands--

i should have realized it was a
perfect euphemism
for the months to follow.
i don't know where this came from
2.5k · Apr 2014
odysseus
marina Apr 2014
i want to walk
the same shores
odysseus did,

i want to be
important like
him, i want to

be important like,
i want to be

important
2.4k · Jun 2013
strangers, but not estranged
marina Jun 2013
he said i look more like an
iris than anything else
(and i couldn't help but think
how right he was, and how ironic
that he doesn't even have any idea
who i am)
"and i don't want the world to see me / cause i don't think that they'd understand / when everything's made to be broken / i just want you to know who i am"  
because my ex.  and i've changed so much since we broke up.  and i'm not sure if he meant the name in correlation to the song, but it was all i could think about.  
wow.  so many emotions happened when i was gone.
2.4k · Apr 2014
astronomy
marina Apr 2014
i read that astronauts
can tell from outer
space which cities are
newly built because
electricians are making
streetlights out of
sodium vapor now as
opposed to mercury,
so now road outlines
glow orange

and newer cities tend
to be more geometrically
planned, all straight
edges and such, while
older cities are made up
of frantic curves and
corners

and i wonder if i look
to you like i have been
worn and used, am i
frenzied and dull, or
am i new?  maybe my
jagged lines have
been sanded and smoothed

maybe
i still
glow
this has been unfinished in my drafts for a while
2.2k · Nov 2014
asteroids
marina Nov 2014
your bones fit into the holes
of mine , and maybe it hasn't always
been that way, but we've collided enough
times that i have invented craters just
for you, so, please,
don't leave them empty
crash into me
marina Sep 2013
(i picked up
all your old habits,
and i'm not
letting them
go)
(you were always stubborn too)
1.9k · Aug 2013
building blocks
marina Aug 2013
i've become the person i wanted to be
two years ago, but i've forgotten
why i wanted to be this way in the first place

(it's time to reconstruct myself again)
i'm so tired of hating myself.  i feel sick.  i want to go to sleep and not wake up.  
i hope tomorrow is better.
1.8k · Mar 2013
leaving
marina Mar 2013
with every step, i felt myself break
just a little
                  bit
                       more.

i'm sorry i couldn't look back,
i was too afraid of finding you
collecting my pieces
to return them to me;
this time, i want you to keep them.
my heart hurts. i hate breaking up. nine months, then nothing.  it doesn't make sense.  it was my decision, and i'm still confused.
1.7k · Jul 2013
icarus
marina Jul 2013
(when i was little i used to
stare at the sun)

(i would outstretch my arms
until i swore i could touch it)

(the one time i got burned,
no one was there to catch me)

(and now)
i refuse to be
icarus.
i don't know if this makes any sense. butyeah- i'm really scared of becoming icarus.
kara made me realize i should probably explain icarus (thank you).  so in short, it's a myth- daedalus and icarus were father and son.  daedalus built his son a pair of wings so that he could escape the labyrinth he had built.  the wings were held together with glue; icarus was told that if he flew too close the sea the feathers would become wet and the wax would harden and he wouldn't be able to move the wings, and if he flew too close to the sun, the wax would melt and the wings would fall apart.  when icarus started to fly away, he became overwhelmed with excitement and in his joy continued to fly higher and higher in an attempt to conquer the skies.
but in the end, his father's warning rang true- the wax melted, the wings fell apart, and because of his inability to keep himself grounded, icarus fell.
1.7k · Dec 2013
sunday morning crosswords
marina Dec 2013
i  don't want  to live in  the
                            s p a c e s
between   your   words,   i
want to be  found in every
syl-
                    la-
                                     ble
1.7k · Jan 2014
this was never about me
marina Jan 2014
i heard that women tend to
tell lies more often than men,
but when they to, it's to build
other people up, while men usually
lie to make themselves look better

so at midnight, when you said
that you loved me, and i told you
that i loved you too, which one
of us was really in the wrong?
idk if this even makes sense like i want it to
1.6k · May 2013
boo radley
marina May 2013
maybe, just maybe, somebody
hollowed out the empty spaces in
the trees at crescent park
just as a secret message to me,
to remind me that it's okay
for beautiful things to feel empty.
to **** a mockingbird is boss.  i can't believe it's been two years since i've read it, i really need to pick it up again.
1.6k · May 2014
i hope you're okay
marina May 2014
every wall of this house reminds me
of you-

reminds me that you are 591 miles
away, and i haven't heard from you
for seventeen days, and i am beginning
to worry

before you left we sat on the
couch and i asked you to promise
me you would stay alive.
when i held out my pinkie you couldn't
take it, and i always tried to make sure
you'd never see me cry, but i couldn't
stand the thought of living
around your ghost and i guess i just
                                                   lost it

there is a cold spot on the sofa and
i wonder if it is you
i wish i were brave enough to ask
1.5k · Aug 2013
rest easy
marina Aug 2013
i'll keep a compass tattooed on my
forearm so that i'll always know how to
find my way home, and if that needle points to you
when we settle for the night,

i won't question it.
1.4k · Feb 2014
physics
marina Feb 2014
i learned that sounds
travel faster through solids
than air, so press
your mouth to my skin,
tell me stories of the places
you were scared to have
been, i'll try my best to
understand, and with all that i am,
i will listen
am i even making sense?
1.4k · Oct 2013
stocking feet
marina Oct 2013
i forgot to tell you earlier that
i've dreamt about you every night
this week, and this morning when i
woke up i thought it was winter,
but i was warm anyway.
does this even make sense?
idk, but i think i'm in love with this dude.
1.4k · Feb 2014
anatomy
marina Feb 2014
when i was a kid, i pretended i could
breathe underwater so that if i was
ever caught in a wave for too long
i wouldn't panic- but now my hands are
shaking and i can feel my lungs getting tight
and my ear drums are starting to pound, and
these ceilings are
crushing
me.
1.4k · Jul 2014
i've never loved like this
marina Jul 2014
i         had         a
dream last night
that     you     fell
in      love     with
someone        else
and     i    realized
that  i  don't want
to      spend     the
rest        of       my
life    scared   that
i  might  lose  you

i         want        to
spend    that  time
waking             up
next      to       you,
seeing               the
world    with   you,
learning    how   to
grow   old  bravely
with                 you

and       i      guess  
what    i'm  trying
to         say         is

marry              me
marina Apr 2013
i've been
longing to ask
if you'd
colour
me
in
(i wouldn't even mind
if you didn't take the time
to stay inside the lines)
1.3k · May 2014
turn-up wednesday
marina May 2014
it is summer again, and
we are getting high underneath
the tanglewood bridge

our shoulders stick together
with sweat, one of us coughing,
inexperienced, the other
laughing

it is summer again, and
i don't remember a day when i
didn't want to spend
all my time with
you
idk this is just a thought more than a poem
1.3k · Apr 2013
november
marina Apr 2013
i once knew a boy who spoke of
rustling leaves as a euphemism for
supreme love; he told me that he could hear them
whispering, "come closer, yes,
i really mean you"

can you hear it? he asked,
can you hear it too?

i closed me eyes and tried to remember
the last time i had heard an invitation as subtle as
the ones that hid in the solace of
autumn's last breaths, and there it was
buried in the softness of your palms outstretched
to the stars (longing to hold hands with the heavens)

when i opened my eyes again, i found myself
face to face with the only truth i would ever
learn: that every thing i've ever
needed to know is hidden between that boy's
words, your curious fingers, and the orange rain
that falls in november.
happy earth day, lovelies~
i actually sorta like this.  there's something about it that seems incomplete, but i've had this on my mind for a while and i finally got it out.  it's a good feeling, y'know?  and the boy's words are truly not my own, but his.  i wish i could see the world the way he does.
1.2k · Jul 2013
misfits
marina Jul 2013
during summer, we avoided the ocean
because it reminded us how
small we really are, and instead of singing
lullabies to drift away in waves of sleep,
we sang all night long to stay awake
for fear that if we let ourselves go, we'd have nothing
left to rise for by morning

(i never closed my eyes, but i had one
hell of a dream)
1.2k · Oct 2013
dry your eyes
marina Oct 2013
i wish my generation would stop
romanticizing misery; if he only loves you
because you are sad, then what will happen
when he's the only one to make you happy

(are you prepared to watch him walk away
for another girl reading bukowski?)
please don't think your sadness is the only thing about you that is beautiful
1.2k · Jan 2014
hurricanes
marina Jan 2014
i.
some days are more
worth living than
others; today is not
one of those days

ii.
your words stay pinned
on my mirror, and i
don't know if i am
keeping them there to
torture myself
or to remind myself
that i should stay
alive

iii.
i used to be okay,
and i don't know how
i ever was that way
or how to get back

iv.
you used to draw maps me
on my arms; nobody knew where
they went except for
you

v.
i want go where
you do, but i don't know
how to find you
i'm a mess
marina Jul 2013
for all the times you were the only one
who could make me genuinely happy,
thank you

(i mean it)
the title is from montrose by man overboard.
i'm having a lot of emotions at once.
1.2k · Jul 2013
starry eyed
marina Jul 2013
i've been told time and time again that
we are made of stardust, to the point where it's
not even poetic anymore, it's just
science. and while they're something beautiful in
chemical reactions and the attraction between
us and the earth's core, there is nothing beautiful
about the way biology was ruined for me
in seventh grade when we dissected frogs and i realized
that's actually what we look like inside-
we don't house constellations or milky ways or anything
worth staring at
                            (but even still, i couldn't look away).

i wonder if there's any chance of us being rescued from our flesh,
i wonder if maybe one day after we're turned to dust
again, our remnants will break free of earth's gravity
and we'll get the chance to be stars once more.

(i wonder if the reason we reach towards the sky at night
is because we can feel our brothers calling us back home)
this is bad and i'm sorry
1.1k · Aug 2013
close your eyes
marina Aug 2013
i thought your memory would
weigh me down, but it turned out to be
an anchor; i've never felt more
close to you than i do now
(and with this weight i'm clinging to
it's like you never left)
i was cleaning out drawers and i found my dad's favourite wristwatch.
i miss him.
1.1k · Feb 2014
body parts
marina Feb 2014
he tells me he is reaching
his breaking point
(and) he sighs,
(and) he looks away,
(and) i want to reach out to him
to touch his hand, shoulder,
knee

but i am afraid he will
shatter
marina Apr 2013
i want to fall in love the way kids do-
diving right into

the kind of love that doesn't have to be
intimate or serious,
(because in all seriousness,
intimacy scares me)

the kind of love that makes a girl
want to tip her head back and laugh,
just for the hell of it

the kind of love that doesn't need
labels or reassurance
because none of it really matters when
together is  all that's on anyone's mind

the kind of love that happens
on the beach during summer in converse and
cutoffs and slushies and corntoss

the kind of love that happens ever day
right in my back yard
that i can't seem to find in anyone anymore
sorry, this isn't even poetry really.  i just needed to get thoughts off my mind.  this'll be deleted in a few hours.  or at least by tomorrow night.

seriously though, florida makes falling love (or infatuation) way too easy and way too hard all at once.  on one hand, it's impossible not to because of beaches and icecream and warped tour and guitarists and corntoss and music scene that is way too good.  there are too many options and people and places and things to fall in love with.
meanwhile, you grow up watching all the summer romance movies and reading all the books and then reality is just like ***, nobody really cares about each other like that.  either your the best of friends or you get into a relationship and either you (a) suddenly hate each other, or (b) somebody wants to elope, leaving the other person feeling flattered but totally awkward and everything ends disastrously.  

and that's all.  sorry for the rant.
1.1k · May 2014
clean slate
marina May 2014
i want to cut myself
open, and pour out every
word i thought about
telling you but never did

and stitch myself
up without anyone's help,
and clean away everything
i have depended on to fill
empty spaces, and replace it
with something new

i want to paint over my
wounds so that i don't have
to be reminded of what
i went through to get here

i want to be beautiful without
you, i want to be courageous
1.1k · Jul 2013
fist fights
marina Jul 2013
i heard once on the playground that the human heart
is about the size of it's owner's fist;
that day i spent my whole afternoon
gathering handfuls of earth within the
palms of my hands just to see
how much i could hold, as if that could show me
how much i was capable of loving, but dirt
slipped through my fingers when i loosened my
grip, and i was scared that people were the same
(even at eight, i knew that sometimes the only reason
people stayed was because you held them too tight,
and if midnight provided a last-minute flight
they wouldn't hesitate to catch it because holding on
was harder than running away).
later on, i tried to catch people like fish,
reeling them in and then leaving them on a hook
because when i held them at a distance they were
pretty to look at and i could feel their heat, but when i
clutched them close to my chest, underneath my line of
sight, it was much easier for them to
break and hide.  that all changed when i met
you though; i disabled all my traps and
reached out to you with bare fingers, telling myself
if i could hide you between my hands then
maybe you wouldn't mind hiding in my heart.
i started out timid, grasping handfuls of your
shirt and the way your laugh sounded when it was
me that caused it, and sometimes at night
when i pretended you were there with me, i would
reach out for you, but daylight was different
and i've always had small hands

(i realized it was never about taking your heart when you
reached for my hand and held it like it was your favourite secret
you couldn't keep any longer; it was about letting you have mine)
(ps: you're my favourite secret too)
&this; is a mess because it's unedited but i'm lazy so yeah.  and sorry for freaking out on my last poem.  to anybody who commented, thank you- it meant a lot.  i managed to get through okay.  thank you.
1.1k · Mar 2013
puzzle
marina Mar 2013
i.
maybe people really were made
first as one large whole,
then cracked into pieces
and scattered, so that
if we ever lose our sense of
purpose,
we could know that there is hope
in finding it in others.

ii.
maybe it is fate
that brought me to you,
something magnetic,
or just chance.
i don't care, all that matters
is that i have you--
sometimes i just wish i knew
who to thank.

iii.
it scares me how much i like
the feel of your hand gripping mine,
as though it was meant
to be there from the start
(when i'm with you, i always feel
that much more complete).

iv.
if you carry pieces of me
deep inside of you,
does that mean somewhere
i carry pieces of you too?
ugh.  this is cheesy and gross and i hate him for making me write love poetry all the time.
1.0k · Apr 2013
skeletons
marina Apr 2013
i wonder if our bones feel it differently
when we realize we aren't permanent,
and  that  eventually, we  have  to  die
j u s t  l i k e  e v e r y o n e   e l s e  

do they grow tired knowing they serve
such a finite purpose,  or do they grow
restless  to show their complete  worth?

(because even though in spirit we never
truly leave, our bones do  nothing more
than waste away quietly in the ground.)

or do they not feel the pain
at  all  until  it  is  too  late?
i don't even know what i'm trying to say anymore.  i have all these words in my head but they don't sound right out loud and wow migraines are no fun
1.0k · Apr 2014
[and that scares me]
marina Apr 2014
some days,
i let myself
love you a
little too
much
[ ]
988 · Mar 2013
imprecisely peculiar
marina Mar 2013
i am beginning to wonder when i started finding
imperfections so beautiful

maybe it was when i decided
i would never be perfect,
and that the only way i could look at myself in the mirror
was if i started with the ugly scars on my ankle
and made my way up slowly
past my knobby knees,
prominent hip bones,
too-small chest,
pointy nose,
until i looked myself in the
eyes,
taking in every abnormality or distinct deficiency
until i could convince myself they were unique enough
to be considered in someone else's eyes
"pretty"

i began doing the same thing with everyone else,
turning their flaws into something charming
so much
so that when i came across you,
i didn't have to think about it-
i knew from the start that you would be
perfect.
thank you so much to John Edward Smallshaw for the title C:
975 · Aug 2013
puppet shows
marina Aug 2013
these days, i like to pretend
my hands don't shake and
my lungs don't collapse
when i hear your name
[but you've been tugging at me
with puppet strings
and i don't know if
i can breathe
because you
let me or if i am
finally
free]
968 · May 2013
cartographer
marina May 2013
i have painted universes on the
backs of paper cranes again and
again,
but i am still too scared to
explore them.
i think map-making would be such a lovely job.
today i saw a friend that i haven't seen in almost a year while he was working.  it was the weirdest thing, neither of us knew what to say.  but he smiled at me like we were best friends and that right there was enough.
marina May 2014
like any
narrator,
i'm obsessed
with being
some one
else.
i do not want to tell stories, i want to live them
947 · Oct 2013
friday night football
marina Oct 2013
it's gonna be a long time
he says, hands clutching his arms
and i want to pry his fingers
away, kiss the tips and
hide him from his fears

not forever, though
i tell him and
i hope he knows that
scars fade but we are both
talking about something bigger
so he smiles and says

*
no, not
forever
he relapsed and i don't ever want to see him not smiling
942 · Sep 2013
reincarnation
marina Sep 2013
he said he believes that
after we die, we come back as birds
(but what happens after that
i asked; he shrugged and said
does it make a difference?)
i watched blaire with project last night and i'm scared shitless of going into the woods now.
our class goes camping in the middle of nowhere later this year.
937 · Mar 2014
come home soon
marina Mar 2014
i want to know the story
behind every freckle on your
back and ever scar on your
hands, i want to know how
they stuck with you and i want
to know the story of how
i stuck with you too
935 · Oct 2013
this is a love story
marina Oct 2013
i used to hate sundays,
but sometimes you hold
my hands in the pews
at church and i think that
i've been saved in more
ways than one
934 · Jun 2016
6.09
marina Jun 2016
i.
i spent my nights writing wishes into
paper cranes after we broke down, a repetition
of ink to paper - fold, press, release -

your name, your name, your name,
became habit every time i picked up the pen

ii.
when i dream of walking through
haunted houses, i hear voices through the
open windows, i swear it is you saying
come home, baby, come home

a draft cuts through each whisper and i pretend
it is your breath on my neck,
that your hands will follow, but when i turn
it is only the breeze from a crane beating its wings.

iii.
when it storms, the dock we used to
share secrets on floods - my fingers scratch
at my thighs like i am picking apart the wooden planks,
my skin splinters in all the places i have ever
been touched by you.  

i fold myself into a ship and sail where you can't
follow
this burns too much to read it back,
and i feel very heavy right now.
933 · Jun 2014
hotel thoughts
marina Jun 2014
i can't remember
what it's like to sleep in sheets
that don't smell like you

the day we went to the aquarium
was the day i decided to let myself fall
in love with you, and by 11:54 that
night i was practically suffocating
under the weight of words i did not
know how to say, so i simply took your
hands in mine and hoped that you
could read between the songs that i
whispered as you fell asleep.

we aren't much older
now, but wiser nonetheless,
and i have figured it out
you are beautiful
and i am not so scared and
i love you
928 · Dec 2013
gentle
marina Dec 2013
i think maybe i only love you because
you're older, because you have large hands
that have held more than mine ever will

(or maybe it is because instead of choosing to
hold the world, you chose to hold me)
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