you always drew
your duality and
it makes me cry
even now.

I want to, so I won't
I'm not good enough,
I'm sorry,
eh, it's alright.

last night i heard you
speaking, as i was
waking up, you
were speaking
to me, I heard
you God, I
heard you.

unceremoniously
breaking up with
you because I only
half meant it last
time but for my
sake I have to
use my whole
heart on this one
have to use my
whole, my whole
my whole, my whole
heart.

how long did I love you?
yesterday Chuck just said
stop,  because I told him
about that green trellis dream
and the one where I chased you
through Nepal, and he leaned in
close and smiled at me the way
he does when he's about to cry
and told me to let go, just


let



go



















so i did.

I wrote about the pinstriped girls whose elbows make you feel alive.


but I have tree sap in my veins
filled to the brim with leaves,
eaves that drip holy water
charcoal in my hair and
bluets follow where I
step, I am komorebi
the sun will always
always, always
find

me.

i'm glad you passed that
stage, where changing your
name could have given you
a different outlook but ultimately
let you split your personality, maybe
you've returned to your body and picked
up your bones, decided that you can only
have that skin, maybe you'll fall in love
maybe you'll fall in love,
maybe you'll fall in love

well did he
love boys
when he
was with
me?

but
i'd
be
o   k  a  y
with
being
the last
girl you
had ever
loved.

let me find a lover
in the winter, let that
lover find me, let those
cogs twist beneath the
earth and set events in
motion, light a fire beneath
his chair that sends him cross-
ways here, on a train with my
name, burning charcoal for my sake
god, i know you know me better
i'm waiting at the station,
i'm waiting at the station.