marina

marina Jun 2013

and i always like to remind myself
how bad i am with words,
but here we are--
                             i can't stop talking, and this is
                             the least understandable i've been in
                             months but the most understanding
                             you've been ever
        (my thoughts are illegible but
        your concern is poetry)

haha, this'll be deleted eventually. but writing bad poetry helps me clear my head for more thoughts to come through.

marina Jun 2013

i'm breaking

my heart is heavy*
and i am so
weak

what the hell is going on. my best friend and my ex are going to run away tonight together. they're discussing this in my living room. and they're both desperate right now and i'm pretty sure they're going to hook up in the woods or whatever and the whole time i'm thinking how could they do this to me.

marina Jun 2013

family (10w)

some days i forget
how to love everyone
but you.

for my 'brother'. because if i didn't have him right now, i'd probably relapse.
i don't care if we don't share blood; i don't care if i've only known him for two years. he's a better brother than my real one ever was, and the only person i'll ever call my brother again. and i love him for it.

marina Jun 2013

gotcha

i know you're miles away
but i've never been more in love
with you than i am now;
last night i dreamt that we spent
the night together and all you did
was hold my hand

(when i woke up, it was the first
time in months that i didn't feel
cold)

oh hello.

marina Jun 2013

strangers, but not estranged

he said i look more like an
iris than anything else
(and i couldn't help but think
how right he was, and how ironic
that he doesn't even have any idea
who i am)

"and i don't want the world to see me / cause i don't think that they'd understand / when everything's made to be broken / i just want you to know who i am"
because my ex.  and i've changed so much since we broke up.  and i'm not sure if he meant the name in correlation to the song, but it was all i could think about.
wow.  so many emotions happened when i was gone.

marina Jun 2013

five things i learned at church camp that had nothing to do with religion but everything to do with faith

i.
sometimes when the stars
seem like them might fall, it's just
for you to catch them

ii.
it doesn't matter
if you can't sing as long as
you put on a show

iii.
boys: it's okay to
cry // girls: it is okay to
hold them when they do

iv.
i lost some of the
pieces, but that doesn't mean
i can't make new ones.

v.
faith is stepping out
onto nothing and landing
on something *perfect

i don't even care if this is good or not.

marina Jun 2013

rain storms

braving the thunder was
nothing
compared to braving the
lightning beneath your
fingertips.

because i made a friend at camp. that i really like. a lot.
and we sat just outside the dining hall together trying to escape the rain and i almost fell asleep beside him and he just sat there and rubbed circles on my back and stroked my hair and it was the cutest thing ever fjdkalfsda. he's just the greatest; i don't even care what we end up being, as long as i have him in my life. i suffer from severe anxiety and abandonment issues and i was scared at first to let myself *actually* care about somebody new but i honestly have never been so comfortable around somebody so fast in my life. he's really something