unang sampung buwan,
na siyang puno ng kahirapan,
pagkakaibigang hindi inaasahan,
na siyang bumuo sa aking karanasan.

mga pangambang hindi maibsan
ng pusong kinakabahan.
sa takot na siya’y pumalpak
sa kanyang mga pinangarap.

Nangarap ka ng buo,
ngayon mo pa ba isusuko?

sinubok man ang tatag ng loob,
nayanig man ang paninindigan,
pumalpak man at nasubsob,
patuloy paring nanaig ang katatagan.

Muntikan mang bumitaw,
Patuloy lang sa paninindigan,
Ilaban hanggang sa tuktok,
upang marating ang iyong rurok.

Higit na pakatatandaan na mananaig
ang pusong puno ng pananalig,
higit sa talinong maaaring madaig
ng pangarap na nagmumula sa dibdib.

Maligaw man ng paulit-ulit,
HIndi man nauubos ang sakit,
ngunit ang tagumpay ay iyo ring makakamit,
at paniguradong ito’y napakarikit.

Anong oras na’t puno na naman ng puwang at kalungkutan?
Mga saya na bigla na lamang naglaho sa kawalan.

Sa paglipas ng oras,
tila ba’y nawawalan ako ng lakas at para bang gusto ko na lamang tumakas—
tumakas sa rehas na aking dinaranas.

Tahanan — ang palatandaan ng aking katauhan.
Dulot ng bigat ng kursong pinili sa kolehiyo,
ako ngayo’y malayo sa palatandaan ng aking katauhan.

Nakakamiss.

Malayo sa palatandaan ng aking katauhan,
katauhan na binabalot ng kalungkutan,
at hindi maipaliwanag na pakiramdam ng kawalan.

Paano nga ba ito?

Sa kabila ng nararamdaman,
patuloy akong lalaban at patuloy na paniniwalaan
na ang panghihinang  nararanasan,
ay pansamantala lamang.

patuloy kong tatandaan,
na ang kawalan ay panandalian lamang,
at ang palatandaan ng aking katauhan ay akin ding mahahawakan
dahil bukas, higit kong pagsisikapan
na aking pangarap ay makamtan.

Admittedly,
My stomach still flutters everytime I see you,
My eyes instantly recognize the sight of you
And my heart still wants you.

But honestly, i think,
This heart will always beat faster when you’re around,
My eyes will always look for you in a crowd,
And the way i’ll think about you would never change.

But now,
My mind does not think so much of you,
My thoughts does not only consist of you anymore,
My heart does not long for you the same way it did before.

We didn’t deserve each other,
We both deserved better people.
No, it’s not your fault,
Neither it is mine.

Wrong timing, that’s it.
Our conditions were already preset,
We met each other in the beginning of your end,
The circumstances were already unchangeable.

Whatever came between us,
It was wonderful and meaningful.
And whatever came between us,
Wouldn’t really change anything now.

There wasn’t a time in our relationship when label existed,
We have always remained labelless.
Like leaving no marks of whatever we’ve had,
As if we’re each others’ secrets.

Admittedly,
It breaks my heart to let you go,
It pains me to see you walk away,
Because i honestly thought,
You were a long term plan.

Despite the short time that we’ve spent together,
You definitely left your mark on me.

I didn’t tell you this but,
You. I prayed for you everyday since i met you.
I prayed for you to be the one;
To be the person that i’d introduce to all.

You were perfect and beautiful.
You didn’t only have the intelligence,
You had the character and personality.
The only thing that downed you was you can’t commit.

You are not capable of committing.
You are not the type that could be tied down by love.
You didn’t want your career to be ruined by whatever will come between you and it.
You were futuristic, not idealistic.

I admire you for that.

Following your dreams require commitment;
You were strong enough to choose to commit to your dreams;
Your determination was beyond my reach.
You were admirable for choosing to let go to whatever was keeping you down.

Farewell to you, my..
What shall i call you?
My dearest stranger.

The reality of us was quite impossible and unachievable,
But i do hope you the brightest of the future.
Your endeavors are already great,
And i hope you will be able to make them your reality.

Farewell.

Kaibigan?
Ka-ibigan?
Kai-bigan?

Ano nga ba tayo?

Dalawang taong hinapo na ng mga karanasan sa pag-ibig,
Dalawang taong pinili ang isa’t-isa,
Dalawang taong nais maging isa.

Ngunit ano nga ba tayo?

Pinasaya,
Binigyan ng oras,
Kinantahan ng mga lirikong nakaaantig ng puso,
Pinangakuan ng kung anu-ano sa ilalim ng buwan,
Na tila ba ngayon ay para bang iginuhit na lamang sa tubig.

Kinuha mo ang puso ko,
Pero gusto ko lamang linawin,
Hindi ko ninais na ipalit mo ang iyo sa akin.
Pero para bang ginago ako ng tadhana,
Itinakbo mo ang puso ko palayo—
Palayo sa’kin, nang hindi lumilingon.

Ipinagsawalang bahala ko ang sakit na naramdaman,
Nagbulag-bulagan sa mga bagay na malinaw sa aking paningin.
Pinilit burahin ang masasamang ideyang namumuo sa aking isipan,
Umaasang mali ang lahat ng sakit na ipinagkikibit-balikat ko lamang.

Totoo nga,
Madaya ang kapalaran.

Nakakatawang isiping
Sa loob ng isang buwan,
Kaya **** mainlove.
Pero, nakakagago din isiping,
Sa loob ng isang buwan,
Kaya ka rin nyang iwanan.

Sa bagay, ano nga ba tayo?
Wala naman, diba?

Maaaring ihanay mo lamang ako sa mga babaeng pinaasa mo,
Na marahil pagdating ng panahon,
Malilimutan mo rin kung ano ang namagitan satin,
Na siguro sa paningin mo’y pang landian lang pala ako, hindi pang seryosohan.

Hindi ako yung tipo **** babae,
Hindi ako matalino,
Wala akong political stance,
Hindi ako kagandahan.

Ano nga bang kataka-taka dun?
Walang dapat ikasakit dahil
Hindi mo naman ako tipo kaya hindi mo ko sineryoso.

Walang tayo,
Hindi rin tayo magkaibigan.
At lalong hindi magkasintahan.

“Almost”, yun tayo.

Halos
   Halos naging tayo.
   Halos umabot na ko sa punto na mamahalin kita ng buo.
   Halos napaniwala mo kong mahal mo ko.
   Halos napaniwala mo kong kamahal-mahal ako.
   Halos napaniwala mo kong karapat dapat akong pahalagahan.
   Halos bigyan mo ko ng oras mo.
   Halos naramdaman kong sincere ka.
   Halos araw-araw kung hanapin kita.
   Halos minu-minuto kung tingnan ko ang cellphone ko para lang maghintay ng reply mo.
   Halos ikaw na lang ang marinig ko pag naririnig ko yung mga kanta sa radyo na inawit mo sakin.

Halos ikaw na lang yung hanapin ng puso ko sa bawat saglit na hindi kita nararamdaman.

Halos.

Hindi ang mga tala ang magdidikta ng ating kinabukasan,
Kundi ang mga puso na syang handang lumaban at manindigan--
Manindigan para sa mga bagay na hindi kayang hawakan ng ating mga palad.

Hayaan **** maranasan ng iyong puso ang malumbay at mawalay
Sa isang pamilyar na pakiramdam
Nang maunawaan mo ang kahalagahan ng isang bagay--
Bagay na katangi-tangi at panghabambuhay.

Hindi masusukat ng lahat ng mga bituin ang pagmamahal na kaya **** ialay;


   Sa bawat minutong inilalaan mo para sa taong ito,
   sa bawat text na kaagad ay nirereplyan mo,
   Sa bawat araw na ninanais **** siya ang kasama mo,
   Sa bawat pagkakataon na hindi mo pinapalagpas para siya ay makasama.

                                                               ­                                    Oras.

   Sa lahat ng pagkakataon na hindi ka nagreklamo sa pagiging late nya,
   Sa lahat ng pagkakataong minahal mo siya sa kabila nang pagiging magulo nya,
   Sa lahat ng pagkakataong ika’y natulugan sa telepono habang kausap mo siya dahil alam **** pagod sya,
    Sa lahat ng lakad na hindi niya nasipot dahil kailangan pala niyang mag-aral.

                                                               ­                                   Pag-Unawa.

   Sa pananatili mo sa kanyang tabi kapag siya ay nalulumbay,
   Sa pag alo mo sa kanya kapag siya’y nananangis,
   Sa pagngiti mo at ng iyong puso sa sa tuwing siya’y masaya,
   Sa pakikinig mo sa lahat ng kanyang hinanaing tuwing nagpupuyos ang kanyang damdamin.

                                                               ­                                   Pagdamay.

Higit sa mga rosas at tsokolate,
Ipinakita mo ang iyong pagmamahal.
Pinatunayan **** higit sa mga bagay na kayang hawakan ng ating palad,
May iba pa palang paraan ang pagmamahal.

Pagdamay. Pag-Unawa. Oras.
Ilan lamang yan sa mga kayang magdikta nang ating pagmamahal.
Kaya wag **** hayaang ang tadhana lamang ang magdikta nang inyong kinabukasan.

Higit sa tadhana ang inyong pagmamahalan.
Hindi kayo itinadhana lamang,

/ Pinili nyong magkatadhana. /

Beyond the inconsistencies, i chose to see you perfectly.
Beyond the impurities, i chose to see your flawlessness.

I chose to see you beautifully,
Despite the many reasons to leave.
I found one good reason to hope,
I found you.

Once upon a time,
A guy talked to me;
To comfort my wounded heart—
He held it in his arms and healed it.

Another day came,
This 'guy' went to impress me with his wit and intelligence,
He went on to show his gifts— singing and poetry;
He made me like who he is.

I liked him and i told him that.
For once i thought,
Nothing would change.. because he's different.
BUT NO.

A week into knowing him,
I was slowly left waiting;
Waiting for messages and replies—
Replies that took minutes, that led to hours.

Remorseful of being needy,
I took a step back and thought to myself,
"I'm becoming too much; I'm being toxic once again".
But maybe it wasn't me.
Maybe he realized that he wasn't really charmed with me;
Maybe it's not my fault— maybe i wasn't too much.

Maybe i was okay;
Maybe i am good enough.

Here i am, starting to lose myself.
Once more, i'm drowning in liking someone.
But this time, i can't lose myself.

For the first time I saw you,
I thought, hey you might be my next mistake.
Love is such a cruel thing to begin with,
It's a tempting pleasure that is a powerful curse in the end--
Ending someone in heart aches and heart breaks.

For the first time I met you
I thought hey! You're stupid.
Falling for someone so easily that you thought that I would've fallen for you too.
It's difficult not to, but I guess it's not that easy to be persuaded.
I don't want to end up in heart aches and heart breaks.

For the first time I made you laugh.
I thought, oh! How cute.
Your giggle sent me chills all over my body.
Confused if this is infatuation or real love
Afraid of ending up in heart aches and heart breaks

For the first time I hugged you
I thought everything's going to be alright
Catching me from my fall is something I wouldn't asked for
But you still caught me
I told you that I don't want to end up in heart aches and heart breaks

For the first time I kissed you
I though that you might be the one
Loving someone like this is such a wonderful feeling
Makes me want to never let you go
I couldn't possibly think that we might end up in heart aches and heart breaks

For the first time
I thought hey! You're going to college.
Feeling that once emptiness inside me at the thought of you moving on with your life,
And me just being your high school lover.
I can feel my heart aching and my heart breaking

And for the first time..
I'm okay with it.