The sky is falling
Gravity lost his train of thought
Lapse in concentration and down it all comes
We see it drip between us
Puddles of cloud start to gather.

Where is the moon
Could he hold himself up
or will he be joining us soon?

This blue seems unreal
But touch it and taste it
It will not be denied its existence
As all we’ve ever known leaks from the heavens.

The petals of the rose you gave have all fallen off.
I didn't like to throw them away.
I spread them on the desk,
As if on purpose,
To dry them into something new.
The beauty of their life fades away.
The beauty of their death grows stronger.

My hand is cold without yours.

The head is splitting open,
Each side pulled apart,
A great crevice formed by the cracking.

Out they crawl and creep and slither.
All that were peacefully at rest.
Given their freedom to exit the cranium,
Enjoying their debut to this new, more solid existence.

I wouldn’t come too near if I were you,
You never know what they might do.

It's dangerous business,
What they call love.
A species of clear-line-loving animals,
blur everything into incomprehensible smudges,
when it comes to that.
That thing.
That danger.
That which will not be ignored.

I open my eyes in the darkness,
And i'm just not sure what i was wanting to see.
But i know that this black staring me in the face,
Was not all i hoped for.

No, I never told you anything,
I knew you'd never hear.
Blocking it out from the lips of your lover, your trusted, you own voice as it echos in your head.

And I,
I never once said it.

Taking a needle from the haystack on your farm,
I sharpened the point to collect my thoughts at the tip.
And stitching delicately,
I sewed my lips together.
Now they'll never tell.
Never speak unwanted truths.

Yet I don't recall your vote of thanks.

This twisted environment is entirely unintended for life.
You prefer to live elsewhere -
Where you can twist it all to the extremes,
To the point where one more turn shatters all existence;
It's your favourite place to be.

The beauty being that any second,
Any movement,
May well induce that fateful collapse.

Show me the reality in that then,
Chosen Child, Barefooted Reveler, Ancient Rambler.
I cut you down.
I sew your lips.
I hold your hand.

Oh, my little one,
You have done so well.

I did not put my head on quite right this morning.
I am not straight today.

Neither horizontal,
Nor vertical.
I am curved.
I am not right.

I am crucified by the surrounding air upon my bed.
I lie and wait for you to heal me.
Touch me on the forehead and i fall into your arms.

Am i better?
Better be.
Best to be.

Pity's hard to come by in a world of people trapped within their own sad minds.

Tomorrow we'll do better.
Tomorrow we'll be fine.

Stop me right here if I am wrong.
Let's not just continue on.
Yesterday felt different to today.
Everything is stationary and everything is static.
Not the least of which resides inside a cranial vault.
Locked up tight beneath a skull.
Held up high on a spine which just longs to rest.

And those bricks felt cold against my skin.
At least no one threw them.
At least, structurally, I am still whole.

But you never did take me for serious when i said I loved you.
You never thought maybe i wasn't lying when i told you, you were my favourite.
The only one to listen,
Just another who wouldn't believe.

I should like the sea to freeze over.
Just for me,
And you,
I guess.

It'd be like glass,
Beautiful clear.

We'd walk over top,
There is no black treachery here.
Safe ice.
Loving ice.
And the softest of winds.

We'd fulfill all of life plans,
Made not to be kept.

And sitting on my blanket,
We'd picnic in the middle of the sea.

Alone in the middle of the sea.

*******.
All too soon I'll be crossing you off my list.
Do you even know it?
Are you already aware?
Or as ******* stupid as you look?

We're all trying to be ourselves.
We remain the same.
We say:
  "I am no clone"
Then wait and hope for another,
Just. Like. Us.

Every sip,
Closer to immortality.
Take my thoughts with you,
When you go.

I dream only of demise.
Yours often,
My own more frequently.
Maybe that makes me selfish.
Maybe I am.

In here I reside.
Within myself.
Block away the outside,
Slowly eroding,
Perfecting this darkness,
In which I am swallowed.

I must be crazed.
As far as my feet will wander,
My mind never drifts from you.

These harmless cannibals leave no scrap.
Torn bone from seam.
They smile and warmly embrace you.

Old friend, you are opened,
And a myriad of dark constellations are revealed from within.

Perhaps you'll find some peace.

Not as real as once imagined,
She drifts through an eternal fog.
The visions now mean nothing.
The frog in the tree croaks low.

Lone feet meet in a windstorm of tragedy.
It was not her time to depart,
But she finds herself nowhere else but here.
And now.

Not a tear leaks.

The terrestrial globe.
The sub-aquatic orb.
I am lost.

She rambles through time,
Careless and soundless.
She folds her hands neatly,
Noiseless and motionless.

These dreams intrude even the most calloused mind,
Terrify the most resistant heart.
And can't you see they are searching for you!

Crumbling into your suspicious stare.
This sand filled anchor seems featherlight.

It only takes a moment,
You see,
And all is changed.

Mistakes made to not be repeated.

Once more you doll,
No more your puppet.

I've been made for such a moment.
I am WITH the universe.
I evolve into nothing.

Neptune beckons me -  
         come closer, child, life offers more.
                       Open your hand and accept it.
And how could I not?

So beautiful,
And cold,
And near,
Yet distant as could be.

THIS is how life is,
How it should be for always and for ever.
There is more here to feel.

I've never sensed the world until this moment.
I think i'll stay here,
Just like this.
For a while.

I do have some trouble coming to terms.
I don’t understand why they will never come to me.

It’s supposed to be summer,
But outside just looks cold.
I wonder how it feels.

The silence seems to hum.
I think it purrs,
Happy in its own existence,
How nice to be THERE!
I would like to join it.

We could have a tea party,
Us three,
Me,
the silence,
and the hollow cavity carved inside myself.

Individual creatures,
Living in communities for evolution's sake,
Out of laziness,
Out of greed.

And The whole world is going to wreck.
They’re growing darker,
The souls here.
Darker with each day passing.

And “I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS”
Is the new universal anthem.

And everywhere I look,
They pretend that they’re happy,
With their lives, with their lovers, with themselves.
And it’s all just one big farce.
No one could be that contented.
Surely not?

And everywhere I go I carry my shadow,
Burdened down with memories,
Of a past I’ll choose to forget,
Of a future I can’t quite bear to think of,
Just yet.

Look in one direction and i see mountains.
Huge towering beasts,
Cloaked in dense forest,
Until conditions become bearable for only the snow to inhabit.

I am sheltered by them,
And safe beneath them,
I am protected.

Yet turn around and there is no safe sheltering being,
But a vast expanse of blue.
It looks inviting at first,
Calm and serene and beautiful.
It is ice cold.
It does not end,
Not that i can see.

Beneath the calm of the surface lie Sharks sharpening their teeth in preparation,
Jellyfish with stinging barbs lingering near the coast,
Spines of the kina stretching up from the depths – just try and stand on me, just try!

It is dangerous the sea.
Even if you swim between the flags your safety cannot be promised.
Can rips translocate?
Can swells increase their size?
Do the sharp edges of the rocks beckon your fragile flesh?

The mountains now do not look so safe,
There’s nowhere up there in the land of snow for me to retreat to.
I would freeze,
Be covered in the snow,
Not discovered until an avalanche six years later in early June.

Those mountains are no friends.
And they approach.
Sea or snow.
This island is a death trap.
Inescapable.

I have no problems with reality,
Not a one.
For my reality has been kind to me.

She is not the hard unchangeable reality whom others face,
But an easily molded reality.
A reality I can all too simply alter.

My reality is maleable.

The paper goes down,
Disintegrating under the tongue,
And enlightenment goes up,
All these new realities i'd missed before.
The colours all increase,
Each sensation felt as though via magnifying glass.
A vivid, deep reality arrives.

The bottle tips up,
And boredom- bred of a mundane life,
And sadness- for no particular reason,
Flow out.
A blurrier and faster paced reality sets in.
Much better.
Much better.

And one might forget everything -
in my reality that is.
So many nights never truly occurred.
I had nothing to do with that long-haired boy,
The accepting of his alcohol,
The ripping of his shirt,
The kissing of his neck.

In your harsh reality truths are unavoidable.
Not so in mine!

Yes,
My reality is kind to me.
It looks after me well.
It will do what is for the best,
Erasing and blurring.
Good reality, good pet.

I feed my little reality her meds,
And we stay happily together;
happy in our preferredly hazy state.

From the green of your lungs,
A new sound sends forth its shoots.
Roots down take time to grow,
But time is precious,
Time is fleeting.

From within,
A passing breath escapes,
“But I am not passive!” it warns.
And in the daytime’s chill,
Takes up a new, more solid shape.

Tendrils spring forward,
They were waiting,
Coiled within the lung until called to action.
And now in motion,
Grasp out!
Attempting to bring your final breath home.

Back home,
To the known,
To the comfort,
To the green of the lung,
Where safety abounds,
And no one shall be harmed.
Back home to the lung.

Remember how we floated that night?
Minds pulling up their anchors,
And allowing free motion;
An escape from the docks that are our bodies.
The solid encasement of ourselves left alone for a while,
As the stars invited us in.

We were friends and clung to each other in our journey.
Distancing the impending reality.
Separating ourselves from the surrounding truths we’d never really believed.

We flew,
And we swam,
And we were.
Drifting in eternity.
Aware of those around us,
But happy for the moment in oursleves.

Do you remember how we were?
So content in our secret movement.
Releasing our beings,
Freely,
Gladly,
Relenting control.

That night when we floated.
And we were together.

Remember how we were happy.

Wisps of brilliance float upon the breeze,
Markers to show where to go –
One must follow the right path.
Do not misread the signs.
Everything depends upon the signs.

Close your eyes and dreams sweet dreams,
Kinder and softer than any world you’ve ever witnessed.

Smiles without teeth
and eyes without whites
Are far less threatening.
Perhaps approachment under such conditions
Might be acceptable,
Might be allowed.

My dear,
My lovely,
My sweet!
I cannot wait to hold you.

Rabid foxes in the wilderness,
Darkened eyes piercing through.
Your hair stands like a halo-
You are easy to distinguish.

I’d take your hand,
If you’d allow.
Please excuse me if my palm grows damp
Beneath yours,
And the magnificence of the Sun,
and the Lights,
and the Excitement – barely contained in the Breath.

But soon the warmth washes away,
This hand beneath mine grows cold.
Stiffness floods the fingers,
Flesh becomes as concrete-
No more human than the pavement i tread on.

The foxes come to collect you,
And i must let you go.

Why be bothered by feelings when all too easily they can be blocked?
When I can feel nothing at all, I cannot feel sad.
And so, I must be happy.
This loose floating me must be happy.
I must be happy.

This, and this alone, is the life I’ve wanted.
The feelings I didn’t ask to exist vanished away,
Replaced by a heavy and happy peace.
I am at peace.

I wonder if you know,
That I still live my life for you.
In fear of your judgment.
In search of your approval.
Where did you hide it?

Oh, it’s just all too hard, isn't it!
Find yourself an easier route.

I am no philanthropist .
For all my dreaming.
I have committed no good deeds.
I seek only to distance myself from a survival I don’t agree with.

I do not really like you.
Really.
I just dislike being constantly alone.

Each blade of grass is supported beneath it by a finger.

Under the ground millions of souls stand,
Arms raised,
And push up through the soil with their fingers,
Pushing a new blade of grass through the ground.

Each blade contains all the hopes and dreams,
All the longings and promises,
Of each forgotten life,
Each soul become invalid.

Growth of a new species,
Hanging down from the heavens.
Like trees or vines strung from a ceiling.
They sway from the disturbance of your breath.
Moving gently - hear a rustle.

Hold you air to see them still,
Fall asleep and see if you'll awake.

Spotlight eyes appear in the dark,
These hanging trees are coming alive.

Is your skin pierced by their looking?
I sense they will it to be so.
Pinpricks upon the cushion of your skin.

Do not struggle in the vines.
With every motion they grip tighter.
Pull you closer to themselves.

Even  your own two feet,
Fight for their territory,
Peacefully,
Yet defensively,
Growing venomously.
And ‘us’ won’t be satisfied,
By ‘happy’,
But would rather search out (for you, for us),
A heavier feeling to rejoice in.

Heavy makes happy now,
We are glad when it comes,
Gladder when he leaves.
But still, I see you yearn for his returning.

Come back! Come back to us!
I am a mountain, didn’t you know?
I can engulf you,
If I so choose.
Swallow you whole,
Covering your world to darkness,
To join me in my game,
Of non-existence.
You’ll find me in the empty bath tub,
Where the game is best played out,
This cold inviting tomb.
Peaceful,
Peaceful,
Quiet.

Won’t it be?
Perfectly still –
For once, For once.

I am a fetus within your womb.
Carry me gentle,
Mother,
I am fragile,
I am easily broken.
Shattering like the shard of moon and star,
That lie now upon my window sill –
Still.

I caught them.
All of them.
For us to see and share and hold.
Won’t you hold them?
Hold me?
Hold us?

And from the silence a gasp!
Awake!
Do not slumber!
Now is not the time for sleep.
Do not waste it,
This moment,
Where we are free to smile beneath the night-time’s Sun.

Awaken, dear allies.
I cling you to my side.
You are mine,
And if you’ll have me,
I shall be yours.
That sounds just fine.
As do we.

I hear you mumble,
Mumble.
Be clear please,
Clearer.
I’ve travelled destination-less too long.
Sometimes it scares me.
Please,
Speak a little louder.
Include me,
Inform me,
That I might know the master plan.

Perhaps I'll just escape.

Take me with you.
I've had too much of here.
And this small shrub's not enough anymore.
It delivered as promised,
But the pain reappears,
And once I've run out I'm just left feeling sore.

Open the doors,
For the walls are too close,
And I must have my space,
And you're standing too near.

It used to be nice,
But now that drum in my head,
Beats only a rhythm of fear and of dread.

I can't get away,
For where would i go?
It's hard to find a place that yourself wouldn't know.

And the drum hits hard.

You don't know; I don't say.
I won't show; you won't stay.

The drum hits hard.

Stomp on through,
Leave acid tears and prints of blood.
It's been a sport to crush and burn and throw away.

Years of ignoring and hiding make it hard to see through the dust that's collected.

Dust, dust, clean it away.
Make me new,
That I may start again.

With poisoned needles,
Behind friendly eyes.
And a noose for a neck already hung.

Who has stolen the puffs of smoke,
That earlier arose form my lungs?

For just a moment I saw them,
Then gone.
And now far above,
In a disloyal sky,
Glimpse their shape before they're hidden again.

Strewn around in a disorderly manner,
Your lack of pattern confuses,
I cannot decode you.
Organise yourselves into a system that may be understood.
Do so now, my lost little plumes,
Then I can read and re-claim you as my own.

The cooled breath of my winter morning weighs heavily upon the daytime's sky.
I am sorry that i breathed.
Next time will be different.

Watch the winter heights confusing themselves with my puffs.
As snow and cloud fuse,
Think of the Sun and await His great returning to the land of your birth.
And the happy days when the puffs are lit by His will,
Taking up new shapes,
Like the masters of dance that they are.

My winter does come to a close.

What if nothing makes sense anymore?
I was your puppet,
Watch me move without strings.
The universe outside rejects me,
And in calling me out in my lies,
Invites me in-
Come sleep in the snow

The soft caress of night-time,
Too smooth to resist,
Creeps up slowly to confuse,
Succeeding in every way.

I will not go home.

The atmosphere pours out its soul in a letter,
Then embarrassed by its out-letting,
Rips it all to pieces,
Lets it trickle down as dust, letting it trickle down as snow.

Cover myself in the hopes of another.
Cloaked, I am safe from all I ever wished I might be.
I am hidden from my dreams.

And time continues on,
It did not ask permission.
Will you be my friend?

A quiet place where it's safe to be.
Where no one moves or speaks or looks.
You're not alone,
But not invaded.
There is never a problem.
Never a trouble.
Maybe you'll like it there.
Prehaps you could stay.

But first you'd have to leave here,
And often that's easier thought than done.

Your head is a lake,
filled to the top up.
You can feel the weight of the water on your weakening shoulders,
And see its depths, and feel it movings,
as you grow stormy from within.