I search for you in crowded places

I seek for you in every person that I meet

It has become so automatic

An involuntary impulse

I latched onto you
because in the storm and chaos
that I was going through
you were
the calm
the quiet
the stability
that I thought
I needed

That was why
it was so hard
for me
to
let you go

Because it meant I had to face everything
head on
without you
to hold on to
and
keep me from
drowning

You and I are unfinished business
I am keeping you in a tiny nook in my heart and in my mind
and I am going to live my life without thoughts of you hovering over me
Someday, I am going to meet you again and one way or the other,
we will finish what we started.

Come.
Take me to places and heights I've never been to before.
I'll prepare the music for our exploration

I'll whisper poetry and prose on your skin.
Make love to every inch of you
and not leave anything unexplored.

Passionate kisses and soft bites and nips.
Play with you.
Touch you.
Feel you.
Torture you.
Take you over the edge.
Whisper in your ear,
come undone.

I walk by the bridge of our memories
looking back at every moment
every disappointment
every pain
with my heavy heart and heaving sobs
dragging a leaking canister of gas along the way

Standing still on the other side
convincing myself I can do it
it's for the best
I have no choice

With trembling hands
a match is lit
thrown back as I walk away
step by step

Never looking back
As the world explodes behind me
burning everything down
to the ground

This is me taking back control of my emotions
This is me taking back control of my heart
This is me taking back control of my life

Let's travel the world and make new experiences.
See places we've never seen before.
Swim oceans, climb mountains, or maybe just walk around a field chock-full of wild flowers.
Your hand in my hand.
No regard for time.
Just you and me.
In our tiny little piece of universe.

Of hearts and galaxies and the universe behind your eyes.
It would be a treat to figure you out.

I've always wanted to be an astronomer when I was young.
Maybe this time, I'd have that chance.