I'm not me.
I struggle through life with my
siamese twin.
It's getting stronger than me.
Heavier.
It's lied alot in the past,
first white lies,
then little fibs,
then real lies
and now we're here
and I don't know who to believe.
I think this time it's telling the truth.
I think this time the boy's not crying wolf.
I think it's just me doing the crying.
Nobody seems to help,
nobody seems to understand
how big,
how tiring,
how cumbersome
my twin has become,
what I have to lug about
every day.
Nobody understands how much it's
distorted reality,
so I don't what's real
and what isn't.
But no.
This time I think it's being honest.
And isn't honestly the best policy?
Although,
they also say
ignorance is bliss.
I wish I had an on/off switch for my twin.
I wish I could turn off the power.
I can feel somebody hovering over mine.

Love can be a easy game to play,
You can win or loose right away.
You can be sad or happy
It's just, you know, ******.

Don't trust love.
Even if it's really cosy
Like a hand in a glove.
Because it's going to be that one and only,
Who's going to break the most strong and fragile little thing
That you can ever possess,
Even if it's just for a less
Than a life time.

A bubble.
That's where I want to hide myself.
That's where I want to stay, away from the world.
Immune to the outside, just in my little corner.

It is. I want to hide. Hide from Love.
I just don't want to get hurt.

I want to be immune of feeling.
Insensitive.
I want to be insensitive.
Able to live my day to day life without suffering,
With no pain, no love or no hate.
Without. Without loving.

Everything is so...
So rough.
I want everything around me be insignificant,
to me;
With no great expectations of the world.
Without thinking.
Without having to think.
How I wished I could just snap my fingers
And everything would by as I please.

I'm feeling closer.
Closer of losing my soul.
Close to a darkness of a poser.
A poser?
The love proclaimed for me, that poser.

Like the waves bursting into to the sea,
I'm fighting with all of me.

Who would think of me?
I'm coming closer.
Closer and closer.
Without any composer
I'm losing it,
Even that fighting against it,
It's winning,
Sooner, it's strong.

Sooner or later, All I will have
It's this worthless body which shames
All fire which flames
Can't erase it, from all sadness in the world.

one day i will cherish the way my lungs fill
i will indulge in the way wet hair drapes against my skin
i'll forget how it feels to bleed into the sky
i'll find parts of me i lost in the house i grew up in
i will fall in love with the sound of mind
i will no longer decay
i will be the blood in my veins

i cant call this love
i know its... sort of complicated.
i can tell that it is for you.
one second you say im young
then the next you call me beautiful?
maybe i just take things in the wrong context.
but those blue eyes of yours really get me
and that silly smile you have on your face... god...
i just... i dont know. id never trespass your comfort zone
but i just keep thinking of the embraces we shared
and that kiss on the top of my head
i want you to remember me and love me
and maybe just turning that kiss from the top of my head
to down to my lips, and to love every second of it.
just once, please, one day let me lean in and
taste a real mans lips.

scared because i
know the
truth.

and what is it like, dear?
being so in love,
being so convinced that she is all you desire,
that i am not enough to even be close to you anymore?