i feel shy
when you tilt my chin with your finger
and explore my cheeks with tiny butterfly strokes
while drinking in the darkness of my eyes
my heart is fluttering fast
and you'll notice the slight curve in the corner of my lips
a hint of a smile, but i'm nervous
eyelashes cast down
avoiding your gaze
but my fingers are dancing
across the small of your back
travelling lightly across your waist
and up your chest
my hands
they give away my hunger
but my eyes are still shy
and i wish i could be a better lover
and god
i wish i could hold your hand

Of all of the bad decisions
I've made in my life
Loving you was my favorite.

I can only write you
as grouped letters meaningful to me
and symbols whose meanings only i can see
but never as words as beautiful
or depictions as perfect as you

I won't be moving forward
nor will I be stepping back
I'll just stay here still and still
and expect you to stay
with me
and need you to stay
with me
and want you to stay
with me
and have you
with me

But you are never
those fantasies
You're the truth too sane
to point out there can never be
we
or both of us

At the end of the day,
all is the same
you remain the last thought on my mind
before I sleep
in strong comfort that's not
strong enough to
let me momentarily forget
you one bit

Not one bit

i trained a bloodhound in my quest
     to find the fount of youth
upon its memory impressed
     the habits of a sleuth
round every rock and grass and tree
it spied what others could not see
     in search of one most abstract hopeful truth

the training ground was in the park
     where children roamed and played
the bloodhound, trained to bay and bark
     where innocence displayed
it sniffed the scent of every child
with purity not yet defiled
     its diligence always duly repaid

by daily treks its efforts grew
     enthusiastically
and by the same i surely knew
     the end was soon to be
round pools and lakes and finally
a river leading to the sea
     the fount of youth would soon belong to me

at last one day upon the dawn
     the time was now at hand
it came to me, my head it fawned
     its tail most quickly fanned
the hound had licked my head around
it barked and bayed and i had found
     the end was quite unlike what i had planned


(C)2014, Christos Rigakos

Maybe the reason
I dart across traffic
Is because I like to tempt fate.
I like to take the chance
Dare someone
To do what I fear.
Maybe the reason
I dart across traffic
Is because I really
Just really
Don't care.
Maybe the reason
I dart across traffic
Is because I know
That in the end
It will all be ok
And my only outlet
If the fear of almost
Just almost
Being hit. Being hurt.
Because a car would hurt worse
Than standing here with you any longer.