and i have always been that person,
who was not even the slightest bit
afraid and scared of death —
heck, i welcome and wish for it, even.

but when you came and stepped on
into my life devoid of color and hue,
everything just seemed to change
in an instant, i wish i had a clue.

my constant “i want to die” moments
become those of sheer contemplation,
for seeing you, and having you near,
surprisingly, it makes me want to live.

you make me want to live.
no, i will not die for you.
that is way too far cliche.
instead, i will breathe and live for you.

as much of a struggle it may be,
but i will breathe and keep on living.
for you gave me the biggest reason,
to make me want to continue breathing.

i chose to break myself
only so that i could fix you
i chose to be half a heart
just so you'd be a whole

all these things i did for you
without a doubt, nor a clue
that once you were whole again
you'd leave me out of the blue

now what's left of me,
are the pieces you took with you
i'm happy that you're okay now,
oh, how i wish i was too

trust, trust, trust —
how hard it is to gain,
how easy it is to break.

trust, trust, trust —
it was like letting you hold
a gun straight through my head
and believing that you,
you of all people,
wouldn't dare pull the trigger.

oh, but you did.
despite everything,
you still did — you chose to break me.

and ever since,
i didn't know
what trust meant anymore
trust was merely
just a word, empty to the core.

siguro maraming nag-iisip
na sobrang saya ang
magkaroon ng bestfriend,
at maging bestfriend sa isang tao

may karamay sa kalokohan,
may laging pagk-kwentuhan,
may pagsasabihan ng kadramahan,
may kasama sa lahat ng kasiyahan

pero para sakin —
hindi masaya maging bestfriend
ayoko ng bestfriend lang ako
hindi ako kuntento

pinapangarap kong lagi na
kamay niya, hawak sa tuwina
gusto kong ako lang yung
sinasabihan niyang mahal niya

gusto ko ako yung babaeng
dadramahan at iiyakan niya,
gusto ko ako yung babaeng
hindi niya kakayanin mawala

pero ang lahat ng ito,
sa kasawiang palad,
ay mga pangarap lamang
pangarap na di pwedeng matupad

sapagkat para sakanya,
isa lang akong isa sa mga kaibigan.
sino nga ba naman ako?
isang hamak ng bestfriend lang

Late night in deep thought
I can't help but wonder
Cure for my heart I sought
Endlessly, I ponder

What was I lacking?
What didn't I do?
You left me all alone crying
I thought your love was true

Oh, how it hurts my heart
How easily you had let me go
To me — you were the best part
Oh, how I wish you'd know

No matter how much tears I cry
And how much broken poems I write
All I could do is deeply sigh
As your memories come back at night

Tell me how long would it take
For a pain like this to end
I wish you could hear my heart break
For you're the only one who could mend

What is else is there to do
Then wish you to be happy?
Yes. Be happy. Please do.
Even if it's not with me.

ngunit mahal,
kahit ilang beses pa na na ako'y iyong
gaguhin, saktan, iwanan,
o kahit pa gawin akong tanga -

sa pagpatak ng gabi,
sa aking pag-iisa,
mga sandaling tayo'y magkasama,
ang lagi kong inaalala.

'di mo lang alam,
na sa bawat ngiti mo'y
para akong unti-unting pinapatay
sapagkat sa dati-rati
ang mga ngiting 'yan, sa iyong labi
ako ang dahilan -
ngunit ngayon,
'tila tuluyan na akong kinalimutan.