I'm addicted to your lips. Yet, we've never kissed..

I'm waiting for the messages to be sent back, rejected. My hair unkept, heart wrecked. Smothered in the spilt coffee, because the nerves are bad again. Eating something so gross, you have to throw everything back up. I can't watch tv, or start a new series of books, I tell my brain im not ready for that commitment. So I'll sit, as cars pass by. I met an old lady, who saw the Grand Canyon seven times. My mom screamed," I'm losing my mind" I shut the door & walked away. There's no adventure, left inside. Just a catacomb of lost secerets, I'll die & die each day. But smile with a unearthly sernity. I like listening to people's wacked out theories about the universe. It's like doing **** on acid, while drinking ***** on the highway. Going 78. Even though you're only 19. This is a one way street, and baby im speeding.

I hope it makes you crinkle your forehead in a meaningful glare, when you read my words.

All the dead people, are always the life of the party.

Id bat an I, but i don't want everything to be about me?

All night long I hear you picking up pebbles,
******* the micro-organisms off it,
You don't have teeth to eat the good stuff,
Soft patters put me to sleep,
Something else alive in this room,
Not just me,
With a heart beat,
& that's so comforting,
I don't need a man to protect me,
Just a gold fish named Larry,
Who doesn't know much,
Other than the inside out of his tank & tiki hutch,
I told my mom I had replaced you with a fish,
But each time I hear a pebble drop,
It reminds me of your paw prints,
Skimming over the top,
I miss you.

Holly Hockin berry, died in her sleep.
She counted sheep, one got under her sheets.
It was baaaaaaaaaaaa(d)

I avoid you so superbly,
My thoughts fly by before I get a chance to try,
And write them down,
Scribble notes on back of receipts,
With four dollars left for a bottle of pop,
The air conditioner turns on,
And my soul jumps,
Maybe flys,
So far out,
I lost it,
I don't know what I love,
I thought it was you,
Sweet sweet words,
That were my own,
Created a Cacoon,
But now I run,
I don't stop to pace,
Back and forth,
Hello Poetry.

Side patters, puttering along a empty road.
An old ford, with no seats. Crates for a home,
Nothing is delusional, you'll make it into that school. Even if all your friends hate you.

My eyes opened wide, I fall into a daze.
Sun bathed in everything that is unholy,
I'm sure you would make love with me,
If I only got the chance to ask,
You speak in riddles & second glances,
Always romanticing.

I found God in the rafters of my third apartment that year, as a kid would only think.
To think nothing of everything, fall asleep each night. Glittering swords that spin & white horses predestined. I found God in the top bunk in our three bedroom rancher. Only ten, with a knife in hand. Ready to go back on what we had planned. Scriptures do no good, when you can barely see through the tears, running into your ear drums. Loud as the screaming on the other side of the door. as my sweet savior, wrapped his arms around me. I breathed in tranquility. A sigh of protection. Father I need you now. I'm losing my footing on the comfort that I will not make it anywhere. The bruises on my back, means tee shirts this summer. I'm not ready to face the world. With the wounded eyes of a child, ten years old.

You grin with satan, & sleep on the breast of God. For that, I shall never understand.

Dry ice, untiringly erratic, ghetto girls,
Claim they'll "cut you" next time they see you,
Please do.

Do this & that,
Get here with what,

The world laughs, when I said "I hate guys",
Like a bold lettered joke,
A misspoken abbreviation of life,
I'm serious,

Momma stay sane.

When push comes to shove, I miss you so ******* much...

I'm not cut out for this life of production,
A baby calf is taken from his mommy,
Seconds after birth,
Guiding his face,
Teaching him the art of suction,
Nothing's real,
Platex,

You judge the girl,
With fake *****,
But make fun of the ones that have none,
And you wonder why,
There's platex in the brains of the younger generation,
Pleasing people is the prize,
You don't know how to love yourself,
But you so whole heartedly,
Wish you could melt the platex,
That hold together the lies.

You look worse with me on you, I love you, air compressor, graciously ungracious, it hurts to know, that you can't look at me in a bathing suit, and whisper please go change, I thought I loved myself, but that was yesterday's lame, I've stopped eating, I've stopped cheating, on the way I say, ill run later, I can't apologize.

The fatness added to the data base,
You're overweight,

Hard wired bucket, deep sea swimming.
Electric eel, fastening hoops interlocking.
Vacation trimming,
The vertical outcome of your mind.

Sand between my toes, won the lotto.
Became empty between the ***** & the lies,
Not technically a fault of mine,
Sublime on the radio,
Nationaly not included,
Broad cast the athem of lost kids on crack,
Addicts don't do addition too much thinking,
I eneded up at a farm,
Walking with you,
2am,
Told my mom I was home hours ago,
I wanted go break the breaks,
Drive into the lake,
I feel no mutual attraction,
It's lacking on my end,
If eternity turned her light out...I might just sleep.

He only knew her by the broken glass in her hands.  They ate of the plain bread. Drank of the new wine. Yet still felt empty. Thirsty with an over flowing cup. We find ourself at the dinner table ample opportunity. Not blinking as they're realizing they're missing a guest. Eyes over the toilet bowl, bending over it's depths. Nothing can drown out the sound of a holy communism. Blade meets flesh, young girl at best. Her true colors vibrant in her lubrucated eyes. God where are you. But everywhere. Tunnels flocked with paper cats, no stones here.

What would a blue bird, say to the limp tulip. If the tulip couldn't stand any longer?
Nothing, blue birds DONT speak to weak limp tulips. They do not notice how she bends way to the grounded. Her petals wilting, nature is death & life. Blue birds & tulips. Cycling through the forest.

Smirk pianos, shave the bindings off the back packed Americans back pack.

The way you say names, like each of them belong in your mouth. Falling from your lips. Sanctify these bitter solutions.

You're beautiful, you're beautiful.

I'm an afterlife ******

I'm waiting for you to come back, I can't picture anything but your face drowning. As I walk along the waves that took your last breath. I cry, by the side of the river banked lapping liquid. Crystal clear clarity, you're dead & my bestfriend will be burried. Bloodless, gutless. Used for research. Perhaps. Megan hasn't stopped crying, but she didn't love you like I do. Did. I hate canoes.

Something was done, now that I'm driving consistently. I don't have the time to write down the thougts, that come across my mind. I wonder if it's worth it to die, my flame wiped out on this very road. Blood mixed with metal, fibers of well written verses.

I've burnt all ten fingers, trying to get your thoughts out of the toaster. You say you like boys, but you also enjoy girls. I'm so confused with myself. I love you, more than the light that goes off right before you close the fridge. And that half empty patch of grass we use to sit & talk for hours. We're not bestfriends anymore, I can tell by the way you shyly smile. Or the way you remeber me naked but don't say a thing.
I wish I could kiss all the insincere, goodnights off your lips.

Words mean nothing to me.

Waves, braids. Dig deeper into the punnet squares. Certify your cells. "what are you mixed girl". "Tell me yo daddy is black".
I'm sorry, I'm just a white girl with nice hair. It's not all that, I'm not all that. It's not a weave, or something I've sowed into. I didn't buy into, my genes. They bought into me.

I stick to myself, wet sand on soft shores. Beaten back out into the waves, my wrist pulsing quietly. Put me to sleep sweet sand dollar, you've gone away for too long.

I want nothing more than to be the half hearted scribbles, on the right hand of your math work sheet. The box of cheese its, you keep behind the passenger seat. You'd eat them after to school on your way to work. I wonder if I ever crossed your mind, on those busy back roads.
           *I wouldn't want you to crash

I smile & lick my lips, you're already mine

God loved, us when he didn't need us. That speaks volumes. Words; to flesh. Tongue depressed, no longer. Because my King hung on that cross, & by His stripes we are healed. Made whole, crafted into beauty, not brutality. We were made, with a conscience capable of good & evil. Feed the wolf thaf leads you. You can't blame a God that loves you, forgives you when you hate him. You can only love someone as much as you love God.

We wrote our love, in the seams of tomorrow's dream catcher. Praying they would last longer than reality. But I only sleep with pills, and jack Daniels.

Curse words, are just cuss words. With a little more oomf behind them

Teeth ache, head ache. Quick silver moon take. Vegan virgins verify your vast minds. Suit & tie lives. On that next level style, knock you down of few bars. Next door, they scream & cuss & kick & yell. We live in the middle of no where, no neighbors in sight. Close my eyes, & take a deep breath...

Fairytales are real, only after death.

You're trying to sell, your poetry. Like the guys back in my home state, with their mixtapes.
                         **Get out of here

Fine lace bonnets, im not who loves me.
I'm not ruled or ridiculed, I'll never be tamed or caged. you don't know you don't know
I am cold empty beds, on humid nights.
Relieved through poetry.

Yoga on the water,

You'd be stunning if you lost some weight

Curl back into your turtle shell, solitude suits you well. Voice cracking, like a prepubescent teen. Love you more

You built your relationship, on the solid foundation, of thinking he would stay.

You keep his last name, a trophy.
Like he'll notice the five letters behind your first name. It doesn't make a difference, he was born without a conscience.  I wish I could seperate the 24 genes that make up half my body, keep them. Keep your last name. Keep your life, I was always too much of a responsibility. Your excuses like a water fall.

I can never find peace.

Share,
Keep,
Metacarpals inside me,
Table topped,
G spot,
Phalanges exploring,
4D,
Expierence