Your words, slosh around an old bird bath. The paint chipping underneath the water. That's not very healthy, for my fine feathered companions.

I look for poetry & God in everything

Like father, like son, good thing I'm a girl.

There's a whale in the lake, you can see him from the interstate. His name is Darby, he likes mid afternoon picnics, and juice boxes. I swam with Darby once, he laughed at my two feet. I haven't seen him since.

Why can't fish cuddle, they can kiss but can't cuddle.

If I die before I wake, all of me is yours to take.

These hills play better music than the radio could ever dream of.

Waking up with him, makes waking up worth it...

I'm so hungry, but the walk is far, and the judgments will be loud. You get use to it.

Can you be mine?

It was a moon dusted, half framed seedless joke, To think anything other than your arms were home. Tears, more like water stains, the Apple of her own eye. "No one will love you" she whispered, "more than you will love yourself". It doesn't make you selfish, just empty. The bible at her bed side table hasn't been opened in quite a while, cause she's bleeding, bleeding from the inside out, oh she's needing, needing a miricale. Opening that book only brings her to reality, soaking in all the negativity. She's just a girl. This worlds too real, for a little lady made of steal at a young age, but she's still soft, she's still hopeful. Always forgiving, the hand that beat her. Down.Because her skins too thin to withstand, the way your words hammer scars into her wrists. She's fading out, like one of those stars she admires so deeply.

"You're a female dog" he said.
With a smirk, "woof" she said.

Binge eating, only to feel disgusted afterwards.
Putting on makeup, just to smear it off, it doesn't help the ugly go away.
Stop eating for a month, so you can see your ribs again, not small enough anyway.
Spend 200 plus on lingerie, to make today better, it doesn't.

The daisy on my dresser, the only thing left I have of you. The book you never returned to the library, 8 years over due, the coffee stain on my mattress, I forgave you. The smell of mocha frappes fill my nose at night. I miss you.

You can't forget about a girl like me,
You cannot settle for someone else,

The mirror is the enemy today

how am I suppose to keep you safe,
I can't even protect myself.

I'm not sure what I'd bring to the table at the end. His hair slicked back with malice and bad intent, the slimey words spoken into my ear at night,"daddy issues".  My lord loves me. I don't have daddy issues!!! I HAVE ISSUES WITH DADDY. Get it straight brain, give me a break.

Pray the gray away he said fur coats and bronze feathered head bands long ciggerates and bed pans maids glamorous, you'd be perfect there, a princess of the 20's. Velvet sheets, hands on your knees, arched back off the bed, different positions, I'll live to please, I'll kiss you from the tip top all the way down to your feet, you're beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

They say he's a lovesick puppy, always attached to her hip, they watch each other's eyes like there's other planets, residing in them. It's a game, plain and simple, he goes home to a girlfriend. And forgets about his chick when he's with her.

Did you see the church? Hanging in your tree.

How far do you go? All the way. Lololololollll

Swinging on a swing set, surrounded by old bullies, swing a little higher. Oops that was ****.

You cannot resist her, she's in your bones,
Her lips, the voice in her tones,
They way her breast press against your chest,
Her thighs, train your eyes on her,
They way the muscles flex under the skin,
She radiates ***, love and mystery,
She brings passion to the table,
Never bluffing always able,
You want her you crave her,
She's fire to your iron.
Sharpen yourself

The breath of an animal, hot on the palms of your hands, life being expelled out of them,
The passion driven behind the breathing is unmistakably right, God would have it no other way. It feels the same when your ontop, life from your mouth on my neck. Making me tremble, untamable life form.

sometimes I forget, how wild I truly am.

People cannot be your medicine,
Look towards God, he is your bestfriend

Love you most

I could write goodbye poems all night,
But all I'm good at is staying,

It hasn't even been ten minutes yet,
Already outside sweatpants hanging off my hips, you can finally see the bones again,
A ciggerate between my lips so quick,
I don't have time to remember that I don't smoke, but the offer was there so why not take it, I've got more toxins in my body I can handle it, cold hands on colder concrete, I can hear the boys next store talking about me, they say I'm a broken bird in a world where I'm forced to fly,
They whisper the words pathetic, yet have never outstretched a hand to a childhood friend, who's dying, trying to believe in a God,
When every else knows she's lying, the unforgivable sin always dancing in, her brain, a mess, a wreck. Her heart, a detached chain link fence, always looking through but never reaching, and she's sick and tired of all the needless beating, the 3 am screaming, knocks on her bedroom door during the night send her reeling into terrorized wakings, remembering who's always on the otherside waiting, what did she do wrong this time, like living in the hood, but all her family thinks it's good, the way her parents raised her up. They don't know about the glass and beatings and the blood. Cause she smiles, & Yaweh smiles they use to say, but it all leads back to a scared little white girl in the suburbs, sitting on the porch step, asking God what he's doing, she cries out," lord my love for you is abundant some days I get lost in it, 1 hour of intimacy and feeling wanted, I walk away broken and daunted, sitting on a porch stoop waiting for the next train to come by, you won't see me in the morning"

You're beautiful, he said.
Your hands are meant for mine,
Not rags to clean the floors,

Sun so bright, eyes watering only because of the fact that the sun is shining, running down the field full speed, letting your black blazer fly off,
Your muddied blouse forgotten, hair whipping,
But all your doing is smiling, cheering on your flying kite, a rainbow against the sky, it's more hot than windy, the sun beating down on your back, nothing matters, for those few short seconds, it reaches up toward the sky, forgetting the fear at home, I started building a castle in the clouds, it's beautiful I screamed, over the shouts, walking home your head hangs low,
Slowly having to bad memories put back, your rooms a reck, not good enough she screams, the tears start to fall, I wanted to live for the fun of the day, not work, work, work.

Laying in a bed of flowers,
Built on your words,
Alone,
A mane of hair framing my face,
Your body blanketing mine,
Toe curling kisses,
Your mouth to mine,
Sighs & moans bouncing off our bodies,
Intimatetly bound underneath the sheets,
Nails to back,
Gasping for breath,
Your hands guiding my hips,
Making love to you requires no skill,
Only love and free will,
My eyes stare into yours,
Sweat dripping down your face,
I realize Id always want you,

Soft imprints of carpet on knees,
16 years old only trying to please,
Catastrophic catastrophe,
Blue hues in the soul,
So sad, down trodden youth,
5 hours of painting alone,
In a furnitureless room,
In an empty home,

Sweat across my brow,
Paint down my cheeks,
Like permanent tears,
Rocking back on my feet,
Limbs stretching cramping,

Looking at what I had created,
A blue cube,
Took tuck my emotions into,
Keep it sealed air tight,

A burning rage built up inside of me,
I looked to the cealing and screamed,"God I wish I had a dad to help me!"

I lost my head that day,
My spirit threw the roof,
I gathered gallons of paint cans,
Displayed them in a row,
Blue hues,
For a blue soul,

Elbow deep I dipped my dry hands,
Into the cold wet colored liquid,

Smearing and spreading,
Punching and slapping,
Blue hues,
For a blue soul,
In a blue room,
With no one to hold,

I screamed and wept as each color bled,
From my heart to the wall,
A tidal wave of madness,

It keeps my secret safe and sound,
The murderous crys,
My heart defeated,
The tears that mixed with the buckets of paint,
Decorating the room,
It dominates my life,
My tidal wave of sadness

Curvature,
The way my body blends, into a hour glass,
Long torso bleeding into wide hips,
I think I'm losing my ****.
Wide shoulders,
Almost nothing fits,

Sun drops and ciggerate kisses,
Hot pavement buildings,
Side walk cracks,
Flower stems,
Fish kisses,
Fall for me

I live for rainy days,
Up hill hazes,
And beautiful gazes,
At a boy who says he loves you,
Only after midnight when he's other girlfriend is fast asleep,
Wandering through a wheat field in mid July,
Sunburned back,
And heated heart,
God give me the strength,
The orchard is my home,
Bees everywhere,
Apples ready to pick,
Winter cold and frosted,
Across your concerned brow,
We stay cold, you refuse to light a fire,
You're the only one who says sorry with a smile,

You can render me speechless,
But never wordless,
There was always lust behind your tongue,
I've never been kissed be a true lover,
I guess I'm not stable, I guess I'm not stable,

Fade out scene two
Enter beautiful boy

He said, do you know girl you'd be gorgeous,if.
You'd stop and look in the mirror, you've gained ten pounds since the last time I've seen you, your smile is so loud it hurts, baby girl please shut up, all you do is talk but your words are dust,  those shoes you wear, so many holes, when it rains your feet are like the sea, is that the necklace we found on the beach around your neck? Tackey aren't you,

Zoom out scene three,
Bird eye view of boy,

He screamed are you crazy girl why did you have to know me? If you wouldn't have, you be alive right now hopefully. He laughed through his tears, the mockery and the jeers, nothing would bring his girl back. He whispered I'll use your head stone as a pillow, this grave, a bed for two.

Blowing kisses,
Is inocent she said,
As she drew the eye liner a little thicker across her eye lids,
  
Biting your lip,
Is perfectly okay,
As her lips bleed red,
Shade 918,

Uncrossing your legs,
Is a little inviting,
As the stilletos gleamed against the dim lighting,
She said,

Tight clothes,
Make me wanted,
She said as her body bended down,
A hand came down ******* her ***,

Bra less see through shirts,
Add to the thrill,
Her ******* profound,

Lace lingerie,
Makes the boys drool,

I'm a burlesque babe!
Don't look shocked,
I was raised this way,

It makes me laugh inside,
The way it's always on time,


Never fails,
Every night 11:00pm,
It hits & it steals,
Every ounce,
Of happiness I have,

It takes it out the back,
Along with hope and love,
The tears start flowing,
Don't stop until 8 in the morning

There's nothing glamorous about the way I tear myself apart.

Forgiveness looks a whole lot like hell,
A closet full of books & no shelves,
I wouldn't know if I did I wouldn't tell,
Your voice makes me sick to my stomach,
You use fear as your weapon,
Your so wimpy,
You coward of a man,
Walk with Jesus upon the waters,
I'll watch you drownd,
He'll float above the waves,
You'll never reach my thoughts,
I picture you for eternity,
Building sand castles at the bottom of the sea,
Everytime you inhale,
A new death,
12 years and maybe you'll know what it's like,
Living a life,
Where breathing is like a knife,
You're no believer,
You worship your own God,
In the mirror,
You can't scare me anymore,
Next time you extend your hand to enforce a blow,
I'll respond with a gun to your head,
I'm done with your pointless games,
My mom should've never married you,
I can't wait till you're dead.

Those of us who make up poems,
Have agreed not to say,
What the pain is,

It's 1:00am,
Thoughts are catching up,
This is when all hell breaks lose,
My heart begins to beat faster,
The tears flow freely,
I press my hand to my mouth to muffle the shouts of my anger towards a world so cold and distant,
It stifles to a sniffel,
I close my eyes for a moment,
Wave after wave of exhaustion hit me,
But I toss and turn like the sea,
Too many voices, too many scenarios,
I love the King and the King loves me,
I still feel so empty,
Maybe a few more episodes will fill the wholes of all the times you forgot to say you loved me,
Mom and dad, more like suicide and death,
I love the King, and the King loves me,
It's almost six,
Time to mentally tear myself apart,
Sigh

I fell in love with myself,
After I put you on the far back shelf,
Away from my ears,
I was done with the way you bring me to tears,
I see myself through new eyes,
My eyes

My fingers are slaves,

I see you,
Wrestling with a pack of wild wolves,
Trying to get leashes on them,
I'll let you in on a secret,
You'll never tame them

Your home is built on quick sand,
Brick by brick,
It's sinking deeper,
I don't want you in my life,
This foundation was never realistic or stable

Tonight I'll brush & cut till the dread locks, are no more.
I'm not me anyway

These piano keys,
They scream the verses inside of me,
Up and down they go,
Shivers wrack my body,
Where do I go,
This oblivion of music,
Everlasting piece and joy,
When I die bury me with my piano,
Coffin full of wonder,
I'll fix the strings for eternity,
Till they play the write note,
And win you over for me,
Cause I love you,
I love you,
I'll probably let you go,
They call me a globe trotter,
But I can't no more,
I created a boat out of my piano,
Come on for a ride,
I'll take you down the spectrogram