Backwards back cracks,
He pulls the straps tighter,
Her hips bleed sonnets from 1978,
A war inside a woman,
An unknown battle to the world,
It starts at such a young age,
No cease fire till you're dead,
Paint your lips red,
Even though your personality is stale,
Because the world stole the word beauty,
And printed on a list of cans & cants,
Her eyes shadowed bright gold,
***** falling out,
Even in the winter cold,
They say she will be loved,
Loved loved loved,
Longing is all she'll ever be.

Gather up the bags under your eyes,
Turn off the lights in your heart,
Lock up your soul,
Keep walking,
Maybe take a taxi away from your thoughts.

Follow the cracks in the clouds,
Right to my breaking heart,
Wake up,
Fall asleep,
One day I'll wake up & all I'll hear is singing.

My head hurts,
Lifes a teaspoon of get the hell out,
Makes me sick to my stomach,
I surround myself with materialistic objects,
I cannot mend wounds,
In places I can't reach,
I can't ask a God who loves me,
Because he knows I'm already rotting underneath,
My fish died when I got home,
**** it.

It's one of those corner handed walls,
Cracked tiles and half smiles,
Holy Spirit,
Present,
I like the way the lights light up the ceiling,
Nothing else,
Your voice calms me,
I've got a lot of people,
Playing hang man,
Trying to fill a void,
Where God should be.

There's fire in your eyes, like my favorite lighter. I'll keep you in my back pocket even though I don't smoke anymore

I'm content on knowing who I am, and who im not. Unopened packages and a bouquet of forget-me-nots, laying on the burned dresser,
Doors that swing open from the inside out,
Shaggy carpet.

I never had time to frame the posters,
So I'll tear them down tonight,
The uneven weight of hammer in the palm of a shakey old mans hand,
Cause he'll work until he dies,
I don't know why you love me.

Egg shells and intimate objects,
Buried beneath this castle of a home,
Drapery made of fish scales & the darkness in your eyes, that'll never fade away.

You're the only person who's said my name,
With passion behind it,
I dance to Toms Diner by DNA,
Cause it drives me crazy like Legos in martini's,
Broken by Seether reminds me of your dead,
Mom,
Beat up skater shoes & chain link fences,

Inhale exhale,
For what?
You won't be counting the heart beats in my back,
As you slide my shirt off.

I dig you out of the cracks and patches of my life, like long hallways in the dark,

I don't want to get out of bed today,
Even though I'm already out of bed,
You don't understand,

The three dots at the end of your sentences...
Unspoken, "I love you's"
They never get old...

I'll pretend for a little while,
That dreams are just chasing cars,
Down a road till there's a red light,

Digging through the drawrs,
Stacked neat folded thoughts,
Not my own,
It's a war were fighting,


My family thinks they're steps,
They're chairs, **** IT,
I hate the coushins people put on them,
They slide off and fall away,
I'd rather sit uncomfortable,
Than chase a pointless nothing,
At the back of my throat,

You calm me,
Nothing I could ever write,
Could make you understand a flightly bird,
Like me,

You're Jupiter,
Chosen from the rest,
A million light years away,
You hold my heart in your chest,
It's quiet inside,
Quiet inside,

A crack in the side walk,
Use to walk me to school everyday,
He never left, he never went away,
Be my crack in the side walk,
I love you, I hope you realize this,

ITS NOT WHO LOVES YOU, THAT DEFINES WHO YOU ARE. ITS WHAT YOU LOVE THAT DEFINES YOU. YOU DONT NEED ANYONES APPROVAL. LOVE YOURSELF COMPLELTLY AND WHOLLY. FALL FOR YOURSELF HARD. YOU ARENT MEANT TO BE PERFECT FIND THE BEAUTY IN YOUR FLAWS AND THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. LIVE FOR TODAY NOT TOMORROW OR THE PERSON BESIDE YOU. LIVE BECAUSE YOU HAVE REASON, YOURE BREATHING YOUR HEART IS BEATING. THERE IS HOPE FOR THE OUTCAST THERE IS A VOICE FOR THE VOICELESS THERE IS A HOME FOR THE HOMELESS THERE IS A BURNING FIERY LOVE FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW IT. DO NOT BE LET DOWN BY OTHER HUMANS BECAUSE HUMANS FAIL JUST LIKE YOU WILL. BUT THERES BEAUTY IN IT ALL, AND ITS CALLED GRACE.

He remembers me,
And the passion I speak with & bad punctuation and exclamation I write with,
He remembers me,
And the bad times I've had, he tells me goodmorning, no matter the night we had.
He remembers me,
The fine details, of the way his fingers lace with mine.
He remembers me,
Like the tide remembers the sand below,
He Knows me,
When we make love, you wouldn't know there was anyone else in the universe but us.

I like sitting on roof tops,
In flip flops or converse,
Knee pulled to my chest,
The sound of violins & harmonicas
Echoing in the distance,
I'm still a kid,
Jesus loves me,
Tank tops are awkward,
Tattoos are comfy,
Cream soda and whiskey taste good together,
I don't know a lot,
But jesus loves me

He says my eyes are hellos,
The way my smile beckons him,
He repeats the word beautiful three times,
As if it wasn't enough the first time,
I smirk softly, hoping he knows I only have,
Good intent,


Compliments don't take me anywhere,
Then to wishing I was in his arms,
Not yours,
Flattery doesn't work on a gal like me,
Poetry does, Poetry Does

Running feels great...
Especially when it's 2:00 in the morning,
And you know the foot steps behind you,
Don't belong to a friend.

Iced coffee & five hour drive in the rain,
To an empty beach,
Is where I want to be,
Lord help me now

I use to sit ontop the roof, & dare myself to jump, I never jumped, one time I fell.

It's that gut wrenching feeling,
Knowing where that blade is,
Three quarter inches from the base,
Of the inside of a closest,
That held so many secrets,
Because my friends cut off their ears,
So they never had to listen,
Listen to the nothingness,
The nothing of my life,
Cause that's where I'm headed,
To the base board three quater inches up,
I'll build a home and live there,
In my scarlet silken sheets,
Make love to bandages and salve,
Share lunch with long sleeve tees,
And cups of disgusting tea with pants,
You did this to yourself,
Your own personal hell,
Addicted to the addict of your own self,
I want to be reborn.

she said she can't count on her fingers,
Cause she doesn't have none,
My music teacher fed them to the alligator,
The second note was off key,
She looked at me & for once I saw nothing,
Empty reflection, of the reflectation of nothing,

You are a fever, the disease in my veins.

One time my mom told me, that I couldn't be a wallflower to my own life. I try to remember her as that woman. I try.

My family is chairs, they squeak an groan,
They splinter with the passing of each day,
Each one of them empty, man made particles from a factory, blind to the fact that your daughter hates you, & the sound of slamming doors & unresolved arguments put her to sleep at night, menu closed. What's the special today, a platter of immature insults with a side of fake kindness. Is this check together or seperate. I'll tip the waiter cause everyone else has left....

A king size bed is like a pillow to you,
My favorite beast,
My bestfriend,

You make me smile, that's all that matters.

A bottle of opened sunkist soda,
A couple sips missing,
Wincing knowing there's chocolate in the drawr.
Wishing the nightstand would disapear,
Praying the guilt will go away.

Inhaling, feels like perfume in my lungs.

Dad...I need you.
I don't know what to expect from men.
Dad...I want you to be proud of me.
I wish you would to tell me I'm beautiful.
Dad...my heart is broken.
I want a father.

Talking to God falls heavy on my lips,
Because I'll never seen Him as more than a bestfriend. I see myself, forever shaken. That sick feeling in my stomach, knowing I'm bending till im about to break.

I don't want to be scared of love.

Harsh winds remind me of your words,
    Having negative father figures in my life,
You've shown me reality, greatful, Im not blind,

I watch in the shadows of love, rustling the leaves, never putting my foot down,
I stay off the worn down path, watching naive girls frolic, dancing, only to be let down.

I'm not bitter, I like the forest.

I want to be baptized in the ocean,
And adopt a kid from another world,
I want my house to be home,
I want a gentle hand to hold,
I'll survive.

They say you can tell a lot about a woman, by the way she takes her clothes off.

It must be hard to bury your own son,
They're not supposed to go before you,
He died alone, no wife or kids,
The smell of dead fill my nose,
Not soon to forget,
Lots of strangers gathered around,
Talking crying, laughing a little too loud,
Some of us quiet,
My favorite joke,
"I got into a fight with a jack one time, jack Daniels, he won"
I like alcoholics they're  too honest.

It's pretty pathetic to feel so uncomfortable, in your own body. It's not poetic anymore, just tiring.

Funeral this evening,
They say they'll bury you at sunset,
I feel nervous inside,
Not because your dead,

Insides twist, and leap away from my heart,
My scatter brained emotions,
Always fleeing with the start,
They're going to bury you,
I'm scared to throw the Rose on your casket,

After work in the bathroom,
I'll smear gloss across my lips,
Shadow on my eyes,
I'll have to sign my name in a book,
To prove I was there staring at your dead face,

My favorite part about funerals,
Are the driving in the car,
Slowly creeping behind the hurse,
Your last car ride,
They'll bury you at sunset, it'll be beautiful

Shifting of chairs on tiled floors,
Raised voices, waking quiet breathers.
Waiting for the glass to break,
Click your heals together,
There's no place like home,
No place like home.

I always wondered why in action movies, that they put all the main characters, most valuable heros on one plane. What if it blew up, everyone gone. Then I realized & laughed.

I learned pretty quick, that unless you're compleltly falling a part. You're good! Just gather up the remains, add some duct tape. Don't complain.

I wished you lived next door, maybe in the next town over, not in another state.

The souls rock hard, while heart rots underneath.

I keep a drug addict, in the attic, in case I ever get bored. He tells me sweet story's, of all his pending glorys, we connect the dots with the track marks going up his arms. Ive since moved away, I wonder if he stayed. Sits in the dusty boxes, where we use to play.

No matter how many, new blankets, pillows and sheets. You pile high.
Like the princess & the pea, I'll never sleep. Shoved down in the bottom layer, under the comfiest cover. Is all the thoughts, that come out at night. Someone knock me out please

There's another she, waiting for me, to ***** up, another poet with all the "knowets" I'll never have, it'll callborate in my mind, rewind, rewind. To when I thought I was perfect, worth it. Playing games with a fairy tale life.

No one has an excuse to be mean,
Your mood swings unbearable,
Laughing & carrying on,
Accidentally choking on a life saver,
Ironic,
Fury fills your face,
From the bottom up,
You exchange, blow after, blow after, blow,
Fist connecting with skin,
For the first time,
I don't know you brother,
Like father like son, good thing I'm a girl.
Tears well up faster than a river full of water,
Headed up hill,
Facing the son,

My soul is quiet today, winds above the sea.
Calm, no will to fight back. Knees to my chest, I wonder what you're doing without me, I wish I could reach inside the photograph, take me to another time when you were sprawled across my lap. Today was a day you'd like, I still have your blue ribbon tied against my lamp. I miss you, I miss you.

I threw you off a seven story balcony, I watched you slam into the roof of the car below. Last time someone eats my cheese its ;)

i don't have an ounce of human nature left in me

You **** 99.9% of Bacteria in 15 seconds, im the 0.1% that still gives you nightmares.

I sat infront of the mirror with God last night,
I traded my pretty blue eyes for slimmer thighs,
My gorgeous thick curly hair for smaller hips,
Those cute freckles on my nose for bigger lips,
My smile for a smaller stomach, my laugh for bigger *****. He cried, I didn't know who I was.

You're like my favorite pillow, I can't fall asleep without you.

Uneasiness drifts in, with the subtle lack of beauty. Drift wood, late night thoughts.
Doubt, does he love me, does he love me not.
Trying to row ashore in an already sinking ship,
Already drowning, in what. A tidal wave, or true love. My brain floats away, stuck between two rocks, I keep my heart above the water. Hoping I'll be able to breath. Anyone can leave, at any given moment. There goes my leg, down the the current.