Real men don't break hearts, they break your head board*

Sweet blasphemy

ive always wanted to know why a raven is like a writing desk & why it was so important to know*

they say it was an inspiration from Poe

But in reality everything is a *theory

call it fate call it karma*
I was naive, men don't love, they tear a part.

My soul is quiet today.

Remove the shackles from your wrists,
The chains around your ankles,
The weight off your back,
All of this because ,
I lack,
Intelligence,
Capability,
Motherly instincts,
Cleanliness,
Skinny,
I LACK THE THE DESIRE TO KNEEL DOWN AT YOUR FEET AS YOU WHIP ME WITH ALL YOUR WORDS CRAWLING AWAY HELPLESS AND MORE BROKEN THAN THE LAST TIME. PLEASE JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH MORE WORTHLESS I AM THAN YESTERDAY. WRITE IT IN FINE INK ACROSS MY SOUL. ITS BECAUSE I LACK. I LACK. I LACK. I WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT. AN UNCALLED FOR MISTAKE. IM NO JESUS BUT PLEASE HANG ME ON YOUR CROSS FOR ALL YOUR SINS. TELL ME HOW ITS FOR THE BEST. THE SCARS ON MY FEET & CHEST WERE ALL ACCIDENTS LIKE MYSELF. ITS SELFISH TO CRY BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HELP. JUST STARE AT YOUR REFLECTION YOU UNCANNY GIRL. YOU ARE NOTHING OF ME AND ALL OF HIM ALL OF HIS DEMONS.

I was conceived in a drug induced hellish rage, because life ******. Not out of love or passion. I'll believe this until the end of my time.


PLEASE LOOK AT ME, LOOK ME IN MY EYES AND TELL ME ALL MY PAINS GONE WITH YOUR WORDS TELL ME. YOU CANT CAUSE YOULL BE LYING. GOD WHERE ARE YOU IS THIS LIFE THE THORN IN MY SIDE KEEP ME SO HUMBLE I CANT EVEN SPEAK. WHERE ARE YOU GOD I HEAR YOU TALKING WHY CANT YOU JUST SPEAK.

It's not like I want to hold your hand,
Or walk to the park,
Watch you undress in the dark,
Talk sweetly.

The way you cried, "don't go home yet"
As you laced your warm hand,
Around my shaking forearm,
And I could've sworn it could've sworn,
Swearings bad for the heart,
I would've rather climbed Mount Everest,
Than fall in love with you,
At least I would've accomplished something,
Not that we weren't anything,
Just a cold refreshing swig,
Of something sweet,
It left my mouth dry,
& my stomach empty,
My living room is a jungle,
You a lion,
Stuck in the vines of life,
Don't free fall into anything but yourself,
Ghosts cannot love,
Anyone but themselves,
How can two free thinkers be together,
I smoked with the astronaut on the bench,
He was just a news paper,
Dated 1979,
He wasn't fishing for anything but luck,
And the universe died that night,
It's all just imagination with the limitation,
Of realism,
You freak,
I look in the mirror and wander back,
Into the irises,
To the eyes of the beholder,
Residing in me,
Big empty nothing,
Cultureal decline,
Political backslide,
Prepare you for everything.

There's a girl inside my chest,
So tiny no measurement,
Could ever capture her existence,
But I feel her open & close,
Unlock and bolt shut,
The chambers of my heart,
Set on fire & disperse agony,
She walked away,
Swam through my veins,
To my hands,
That held my head,
Between my knees,
As I wept,
Leaving my heart empty..

Breezes wave like cold girls.
Where is the stormy shark?
Hell, courage!
Why does the sailor endure?

Faith is a misty breeze.
The ship travels like a cold captain.
Why does the reef die?

The type of whiskey kisser,
You wish you could keep

Prince Eric goes to school,
He has curly hair,
Buys cheap cars & sells them,
He's rich.

You're not trying to,
You wired maniac,
I was trying,

Yall are anoyying

the fox ate the butterfly,
And the catipillar smiled,
A leaf for the road.

Honey suckle ***,
Beneath the cherry tree,
They say it's real,
Loves not a fantasy,

Foreplay with tbe clouds,
Between my legs,
The birds flee,
The forest filled with moans,

Hold your breath,
Making love beneath the sea,
Steal your breath,
Before the next wave.

I wonder if you cut me open,
Will you see the rings inside,
Spiraling into age,

She sings softly,
As she walks,
Broadly into the distance,

Today is the greatest day,
I've ever known,

Bees fly into my windows,
Sliding down the panes,
Thinking I'm a flower,
They only do it in vain.

I want a banana muffin & a monkey.

If this is all but a dream, I'll wake up tomorrow & go back to sleep. Praying you'll be, in the seams of my love...

What's the conection & suspension;
Between words.
***** you, could desperatly mean something,
Other than what the blinds say,
So close them & I'll show you,
The wrong path all men take,
Towards a girl beautiful & broken,
Wide eyed & open,
Innocence has fled,
Conection & suspension

Solis
Songs for Judah
Takes me to my knees
Spiritually
Instrumentals
Tell a tale
Not soon to be forgotten

Shrink wrap your heart,
Sand it down to size,
It hurts when it beats so loud,
It echos in this empty void,
Q-tips & lips...stick,
To my brain,
Scratch your name in my eyes,
Iris lotus flower,
Flamable.

Soft tendrils, fall to my feet,
The shear slice befor the break,
Freedom,
One more,
One more,
One more,
One more,
One more,
One more,
I fell asleep a lion,
Aloft.

Wish me away, if you'd please.
Id fall and crumble,
Like the leafs under your feet,

You say wow, like its goodbye
Something about harps,
You whisper,
I can't get you out of my mind,

Inner locking our fingers,
The words,
It's easy if you tried,
Dance across my lips

It's like dating a ghost.

Throw me off the Empire State building,
Cause I'm in love with you,

I only drink water,
From the good side of the sink,
Reprimand your love,
Fill this empty space,
Fair maiden,
With braided hair,
She sleeps in the forest,
& the valleys bellow,
Walks across your land,
Bare feet in the snow,
She drives you wild...

Lawn mower lullabies,
Suburb smiles,
Cut you down to size,

I watch Gods creation,
Be torn apart with scalpels,
They call it evolution,
I call it get the hell away from me.

Palms of your hands brushed against,
Your cheeks, standing in front  of the fridge,
Breaking all ten bones, cause you stand on tip,
Toes, to avoid the conversation, of his judgemental eyes, so you jam tooth brushes,
Down your throat, to throw up the guilt,
You skip meals, & stay in your room, to practice "discipline" writing horrible words, across your,
Skin, being in the same room with you makes,
Me sick. A fire in my stomach, a hate in my heart, that shouldn't be there. I'll watch my figure, every day become the dust on your boots, the dirt on your heals, that you leave on the welcome mat.

I watched an astronaut,
Sit on a park bench,
And fish for the universe.

I know you like the grains in my canoe,
That Ive spent hours painting,
I know you like the Bob Cat,
Ate the cat next door,
Like the bag of coke,
Someone forgot to smoke,
We played with it till we got lit,
Each other eats it's own kind,
He screamed, "you're a dangerous woman in heaven, you're a dangerous woman in heaven"
I'm just a teenager,
Who traces tile floors cause I'm bored,
Who likes laces and fine wines,
Even though I haven't drank any,
My head is filled with books,
I'm hungry,
But you say its worth it,
To not eat of the same kind.

Initiation of life, I skipped it twice,
To drink from the fullest cup,
By myself so I don't know what I'm good at,
I know I'm good for,
Don't be a sell out,
Cause they'll just sell you out,
For replaceable,
Tactile they wave the reward above your,
head,
Standing in fresh concrete,
Covered in grass,
To mask the fact,
That im sinking,
It's okay to be a mess,
But it's not okay to fall apart,
Give me that glue stick and the scissors,
It's going down tonight.

Tired of being self conscious, about being self concious. Holding back who I am, & putting forth walls. Sliding between the cracks in the side walk, they say the world needs a smile like mine. Were all just wind mills in empty fields, looking for some turbulence. Just glance at me, & make me feel okay...

You're not thinking what I think you're thinking are you now?

Parking lot hangs,
Wishing you had something to eat in that purse,
Of yours,
Counting Stars & freckles,
White girl flesh,
In the blood,
Backwards trucker hats,
I straightened my hair today,
& forgot who I was...

Your love,
       Like the Holy Grail,
                         I've got to find it.

Sugar tone the after thought,
Get rid what is yours,
Drink the poison,
Guess again.

Subtle sipper of love, use the Big Dipper
To ladle it out, into the trash can you drink of,
Toilet paper stacked against the mattress,
In your stomach, they scream he'll get sick,
Without shoes on, but he doesn't have a heart,
To fail, to stop its beating, just a hallow cave,
Where memories go to die, I watched him,
Shrug & grin, satisfied with solitude,
I'm ready for a tire swing lullaby,
No jokes or games, every,
Thing, out in the open,
He clambered down my words,
And sat in the mulch to die.

There's a fire in the second building,
Of my brain,
I got out of the shower naked,
& didn't feel any shame,
Heels hit pavement,
Quickly,
Sirens blaring loudly,
I sat with my head propped up against,
The frame of my heart,
Listening to it beat,
I didn't have a chance,
As the flame locked up my calves,
Silence shook the halls,
Beds filled with sand,
Hotel for the broken,
It hasn't rained in days...

It's been a long time naturally,
That'll I'll cry myself to sleep,
Soothingly,
Exhaust the brain until thinking isn't able,
Wash your cheeks dry with the memorys,
Pain doesn't go away Exspecially on cloudy,
Days,
This void radiates out of my chest,
You filled it so well...
Collate the broken shells of life...
I hate being human.

I read other girls poetry, sounding like whole hearted whispers, I read mine, hard winded sand storms. I'd apologize, but I've fallen in love with my writing half heartedly. Like a *****, or a mechnical robot. Stuck in a time warp, sinking in solitude. Who knows when I'll come back, but I'll write. And that'll be enough. So fall out of love, fall out of hate, but please don't forget what I wrote. Never a legend, always a poet. & that's **** near close...

You are the good before the morning,
The sugar to my tea,
The cuddles in mid afternoon,
When you didn't get a good nights sleep,
You were the skip to my step,
The petal to my rose,
The hope to my future,
My life long companion,
Cut short,
Where's the rope...

I placed the cuts between your fingers,
Intricately,
Your mind like patch work,
Flipping the switch on & off,
Doesn't save a life,
There's not enough oxygen in the world,
But please go on about equality,
Hold the hand of a dying child,
Cause all he wanted in life was to not be,
hungry,
I got the cat out of my tool box,
I wiped window pains with ciggerates,
So we'd all be a happy family.

One time someone told me,
         They had chosen words for me,
                           I cried,
            Casting them into the ocean,
  They were words I would've never spoken,
                       Please do tell,
           Did you ever know me at all
  I watched as a wave swallowed them whole.

We make Angels all night long,
And soft hallelujahs between the sheets,
Bare legs & cold feet,
In the center of the universe we meet,
Our finger prints the same,
I know you in the holiest ways,
Your body etched in my brain...

Turn on me, turn on me, turn on me,
The veins in the corner of your eyes,
They do a dance, & angry dance,
I watch the colorful orbs,
Surrounded by white,
Exhale & inhale,
Anger.

A shout into O                V  I
                            B   L  I           O N
A rush of wind, no time to flinch,
Busted lips,
I'm sorry.

Universe
Uni, one
Verse, spoken statement
And God said,"Let there be"
And there was.

Tone deaf balloons, perfect.

Please take these pieces, I've swept and cleaned them. Gathered them from the gallows where my heart use to hang. I can't find forgiveness here, the warm wet tears gallop down my cheeks. The word "unloved"radiate to my core, you'll never be good enough. Your presence is a chore. Make up to cover up the ugliness you didn't know was there, until mentioned at the diner table. I've always been a stuburn girl, so I raised my head and snuffed. I am beautiful, I am. I could feel her smirk, from a mile away. Like a curse creeping in. The words spoke a hurricane into my soul. "Stand infront of a mirror undressed and tell me what's beautiful, I can assure you there's nothing". Hoodies & leggings, cover up all the mistakes, now im begging. Take these pieces, I've swept and cleaned them...

Upside down telephone steps,
Diagnosed with perplexed paintings.
I felt it in my blood,
Pills rattling in the gutter of a bottle,
Lifes going no where,
Polar bear drowning,
Is the only sight I could see,
As I looked into the vortex of my future,
Crisp apples and new pencils,
Can't make me learn quicker,
Quickly I melt into an abyss of wondering,
Down a deep dark hole of nothing,

Sometimes I think about the time you told me, it was Blake who stole all the pills. But it was you. I think about what you did with the money. But today I lay upside down on the stairs, well, the ceiling fan turning rapidly. Suddenly thinking what would happen if it fell, would I lose my head? I laughed knowing I already did.

Whispered shivers, laughing lingers,
Uncomfortable silence,
I don't even know you,
My favorite bent photograph,
I use to sleep with as a kid,
You with a beer ****,
Under my pillow broken shells,
So maybe I could reach you from the sea.