You're the cracks in my skin
the blood that I bleed.
You're the carbon dioxide
that I unleash
to stop you
from suffocating me.

You're the pounding in my skull,
the cartilage damage in my knees
slowly ripping life from me,
with no mercy
despite my pleas.

You're Satan's kiss
-- you're a personal death wish.
You are agony
But you're agony that I miss.
  
                 For when a blind man regains sight,
                                  it's nothing short of bittersweet
                 -- a painless torture technique.

                                   *-lf-

a wound sliced
into your thigh
is an emergency exit
for emotion to trickle
through
because you're filled like
a hot air balloon.
dunk your head back
and take a swig
of the cough syrup
for extra bliss
and then you should feel
okay
about living

i tried to **** myself
a year ago-
a year ago
i wasn't me
a year today
i've experienced
so many things
that a year ago
i would have
missed out on
had i
a year ago
succeeded
in death
so a year today
i'm quite thankful
my
[heart still beats in my chest]

chipped china cups stained
with cherry red prints from your lip stick.
the way you swing your body languidly
through the wispy smoke
hanging in the air like a reunion of ghost;
always enchanted me so.
here the graves lie of all the lovers whose
hearts were severed by your gentle fingers
cutting out the sacred testimonies wedged
brightly in every heart.
they stained the earth,
for they had something
to give
but although your eyes open
with surprising brilliance,
how can anything you see
hold meaning?