shut your legs honey,
its not a good look.

making yourself look bad,
jumping from guy to guy.

oh wait... that's right,
your a ******.

never kissed a boy right?
never hugged a boy right?
never even had a boyfriend?

yep that's right, you talk yourself up
making a name for yourself

now do you why we are ALL calling you a

****!

I've been struggling with this same pain for as long as i can remember.
being dragged in and out of hospitals getting told she will be okay.
that pain and fear dragged me into depression and suicidal thoughts, wanting to take my life became a huge part of my life.
self harming, cutting to see blood, feel blood, taste blood. the pain came a thrill.
depression and anxiety didnt help me much either, drowning me in my own thoughts. Telling me im not good enough and i should **** myself cause im not worth living on this earth. There are more people who need the air and space i take up.
now sitting here in the bath with blades and pills contemplating once again if im worth it and if i should take my life.

ive missed you,
like not just a little bit
but a lot.
actually heaps!

ive missed your face
your voice
touch
your feel

ive missed everything
about you,
and i want it back
i want you back

I WANT US BACK

the snide sound of laughter in the back of my mind
the cackling sound at the start of every comment
the giggle as i close my eyes
the laugh that breaks me down

when will it be too late
to save myslef
to rid the pain
to hide

bit it is too late
i lost myslef a long time ago
making more pain
because i didnt hide

it was the snide laughter
the cackle
the giggle
but mostly the laugh ......

I miss you in winter
when its cold
and I have no one to cuddle

I miss you in storms
when you kiss my forehead
as the thunder crashes

I miss you in my bed
our bodies together
lips locked and hands intertwined

I miss you.

Blood dripping from my nose, looking at myself in the mirror looking at what you had done to me ... All from one little statement ! You are breaking me not only physically
But mentally an emotionally, I can't take it much longer ! I need to take away the pain of it all ! Why don't you drag the blade across my
Wrist too .... You started the pain you may aswell end it, cause you seem
To get a rush from it all

she's one of those typical good girls,
straight uniform,
neat hair,
respectable makeup,
perfect smile,
straight A student,

then you have a look at me..

miss matched uniform,
messy buns,
average makeup,
crooked smile,
straight D student,

I was once that straight A student
but you know ...
**** happens !

Don’t hold my hand
Don’t grab my waist
Don’t breathe on my neck.
Don’t try be cute
Don’t tell me you love me
Don’t buy me presents
Don’t you dare be affectionate
With her taste still fresh on your lips.

Who wants to play a game of never have I ever ?

Rules, I'll say something and if you have never done it .. Lower a finger !

Let's start !

Never have I ever cried myself to sleep ?
Whoops there goes one
Never have I ever self harmed ?
Whoops there's number two
Never have I ever starved myself ?
Whoops number three, I'm good at this !

Oh I forgot to tell you the looser dies :)

Never have I ever used the words "I'm fine" ?
Fourth finger down !
Last question ...
Never have I ever fallen in love ?

Closed fist I won, time to say goodbye, it's okay don't be sad ! I've
Been waning to go for a long time ...

Thanks for playing my game :)

kiss me on the mouth..
hold me tight..
kiss my neck..
grab my waist..
but please dont bite..

it was exciting
it was memorable
it was hot

you were here
in my bed
naked

bodys pressed against each other
hands intertwined
lips locked to your neck

the feeling
the urge
the moment

i was waiting.. wanting.. needing
but it was all in my head!
****

Your lips look so sweet... I just want to taste them.
Your skin so soft... I just want to feel it.
Your voice so beautiful... I just want to hear it.

The temptation of it all, the blood rush to my head when I think of you
!

Finally I don't have to wait much longer, cause you are mine.
You will be mine.
Tonight !

As I plunge the dagger into your chest, I forgot I wanted to taste your blood .. Oh the temptation was too much

But I can now taste your lips.
Feel your skin.
Replay the your last words in my head.
But most of all I can have you all to myself ...

Curiosity killed the cat they say, but temptation got you killed.

when the lights go out. its just me and you.

lips locked together
hands exploring bodies

moans
gasps
screams

your everything that for fills my addiction
my craving
your my cure.

your my daily dosage of ***, love and drugs in one

bite marks, scratch marks, hickeys and bruises...

just the taste of your skin in my teeth
your body on mine
our hands intertwined

saliva wasn't the only thing getting swapped that night
and its driving me.....

WiLd

Can't sleep clown will eat me ..
Honey that's no clown !
It's the voices you know the ones tellin you not to eat ? Yeah ...
The ones telling you your not pretty ? Yeah ...
The ones telling you your not worth it ? Yeah ...

You now know who I'm talking about ?
Yes ... But I can't sleep ! The clown will eat me ?
It's not the clown honey I said that ...
What about the monster under my bed ? He might grab me and take me away forever !
The monster isn't under your bed .. It's inside your head

But he is telling me th...
Don't listen to him ! He doesn't know what the right thing is for you ...
But he wants t...
He wants to ruin you !
Oh .. But everyone will be happy !

See those scars upon your wrists ?
The tears rolling down your face ?
Your scared makeup ?

Yeh .. It's becau....
No it's him. He is ruining you, slowly killing you ! He wants to win

Well one day he might, I kinda hope he does .... Whispering to him every night ! Please take me with you .. Maybe I will be happy ?

He will win, he is so close ...
Scratch that I think he has won !...

i dont know if its the medication making me feel this way
or your lack of interest.
i dont know if its the blood that cures my cravings
or the way its just flows

are you the pill i take of a morning?
the pill in the afternoon or the evening?
are you the blade dancing across my skin
letting my true colors flow free?

i know what you can be..
you can be the rope that slips delicately
around my neck
you can be the one who kicks my chair


but you know it you will always be my last thought.

sweat dripping off your body
as does mine.

biting you lip as you throw your head back..

neck kisses as my hand traces your body,
making you cringe

your lips against mine
one hand in your hand, the other
exploring your body!

skin in my teeth
body on mine

to for fill the craving, the addiction
you are my cure, my fix..
and im left forever wanting more!

As he held her hand for the last time, whispering to Her trust me ! As they jumped both jumped Into the murky water beneath them, not knowing one of them will never resurface !

I'm the girl your daddy said you were too good for
I'm the girl your mummy said will get no where in life
I'm the girl your sisters scared of ..

Your the boy daddy said not to date,
Mummy said Your the boy who will end up in jail
Big brother said your the boy not to trust

But now I'm your girl !
And your my boy
And we are the kids our parents warned us about

rough me up
play fight
kick, scratch, bite

hold me down,
kiss my neck,
tease me more.

step by step
planning my next move
tackle you to the ground..

lips to neck,
hands intertwined,
I am yours ... and
you are mine!

“wrong number” came from a familiar voice,
On the other end of the phone before,
Hanging up.

“wrong number” the voice being very familiar,
It rings over and over in my head,
Who could it be.?

“wrong number”
“wrong number”
“wrong number”

…..

I called her the other day, I pretended it was the wrong number
I just wanted to hear her voice one last time,
I needed to hear her voice.
“hello?” her voice still
Clear in my mind,
The last persons voice I wanted to hear,
Before my car was wrapped around a tree.

Last night, I did not think of you once ...
Every time I lifted the can to my lips, I knew you were just memory !

A tasteful, hurtful memory !
One that I can't get rid of the taste ...

Maybe I didn't .. Maybe I didn't forget you last night ! I just thought I did ..

my wrists feeling tight and also ripped apart
they've been strapped down,
my legs hurt
they've been amputated at the knee,
I try to scream
but my lips have been sewn shut,
what did I do to end up like this?
tortured.
in pain and all alone..

Three letters, can cause an addiction ! An uproar, cure an craving ... S E X

Body to body contact ..

S E X

Skin to skin ...

S E X

Hickeys, bruises, bite marks, scratches ...

S E X

One word, one feeling, one taste always on your lips, and your forever wanting more ...

S E X

But that's just the thing ... It's all you wanted ...
It all you needed ...
You didn't want me ...
You didn't need me ...
You wanted *** ...


And you used me,
Had me,
Craved me,
For all the wrong reasons ...

Now I'm lying here once again .. Exposed ! For all the wrong reasons ! I'm your cure ...

Yeah I killed her, but it was an “accident”
I hid her body in a shallow grave,
West of my joint at an old wood mill.
Among the dirt and all the other **** that was there, I didn’t mean to **** her,
That was an accident, we were fighting,
I grabbed her hair and she fell, Hitting her head on the coffee table,
I couldn’t keep her body in my apartment, she will start to smell,
People will get suspicious, what am I meant to say?
Yeh man I killed her she’s casually decaying in my apartment,
I skip town, for a week which turns in to a month then a year,
Until one day I hear a suspicious news report,
They found her. Her body. In the shallow grave.
Finally!... Now I guess the game begins.
Let’s play until it’s over...

Beating me until I was black and blue,
Struggling for air,
And drifting in and out of consciousness.

My killer picking up the phone calling
000, and telling the operator to come
“Collect the body, I’ve killed her.”
Before hanging up and leaving me.

Leaving me for dead, as I take my last breath.