im not dying, im just
fading... fading into
the background
soon enough to be
forgotten.

living, means fighting the demons,
drowning without water,
taking your life whist still living.

sunshine
butterflies
and happy smiles
havent been
incuded in my
life

instead its been
late nights
red eyes and
blood stained wrists

but the time has
come where
i need to change
not myself
but my perspective

i have to agree
i am pretty
i am skinny
i am funny
you do love me

lets block the
negativity out
and focus on
me the happy me
the one with the
genuine smile

here we go.

im sitting here
headphones in
music blasting
trying not to cry

you messaged
me today
telling me you
were sorry

and all i could
say was
goodbye

i cant sit here
everyday plast
a fake smile
on my face
and say everything
is okay

i cant do it any
longer i
need a release
i need to go
leave

it wont just
make me happy
but everyone
else too

not havening
to worry
about me
my pathetic
excuse of a
life ended

and everyone relieved

i dont know what
to think of you anymore,
you are nice and
kind, sweet
and inncoent.

well to my face anyway!

but as soon as
we change our
directions and walk
away, you change
rude and disrespectful
ugly and hatred

what did i do?

but i try
and make things right
i smile and laugh
act happy when your
around, but knowing
what you really think
of me kills
me.

but im sorry, ill just leave '
your life this world
maybe then you
will be happy
okay?
okay?