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Maddii Lloyd May 2016
I miss the feel
of the rough
course
white rope necklace
being threaded over
my neck once
more
Maddii Lloyd May 2016
Dear Diary..
      
     i cant take it much longer
its getting harder to hide what ive done
       all thats left is to hide the body.
Maddii Lloyd May 2016
i scream
i cry
i hate myself

i yell
i scream
i tear at my skin

okay i get it,
you will never love me
cause no im
not her

im not pretty
or funny
or skinny

so this is why
i yell
and scream
and hate myself

because i know
ill never be her
and you will never love me

but i was hoping
just once to hear those
words
but what the **** was i
thinking

im sorry
Maddii Lloyd May 2016
The treatment they prescribed didn’t work and she was constantly in pain,
she couldn’t sleep and hardly ever ate;
it looked like her health was deteriorating right in front of our eyes.
She was a shadow of her former self
Maddii Lloyd May 2016
taking off my clothes piece by piece, dropping it effortlessly behind me until i reach the bathtub filled with water and white rose pettles.

grasping my blade a long cold piece of metal which takes my worries and feelings away my best friend, my only friend.
bringing it to my wrist releasing all that was needed, but the joy became strong i kept going until the water ran red the rose pettles changed colour and i was drifting in and out of consciousnesses.

now im laying in the bathtub my lifeless body being drained of every last drop of life, not knowing who will discover im no longer here or when that will happen.

the purge was too strong free flowing blood a craving an addiction turning into my last moments and a bloodbath.
Maddii Lloyd May 2016
They tell us to we can
"be whatever we want to be"
but as we grow they change
our minds, make us question
"barbie" nope.
"princess" no.
"dead" now why would you say that
they get in our heads and
change our minds untill
we cant stand it anymore.

what i want to be right now
is gone... dead... hanging from
a white rope necklace... 6ft under
and dont try stop me.
Maddii Lloyd May 2016
i loved you.
but you ripped my *******
heart out,
when you came back
to me with her
taste still fresh on
your lips!
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