i have always been so certain
of my rights

but how can we possibly
decide
when life counts

and yet
how can they possibly
decide
ours doesnt
anymore

it could have been
more in life for you
mum

somehow

i can't say i'm sorry
i can't say i'm not

Sometimes
I think we lay down
right beside
miles away
close apart

Sometimes I get scared
that we walk on
drift away

Are you
my only
closest one

Sometimes
day by day
I miss you more

do you feel

my affliction
how it twirls
bears me down
on my way up

do you recognize

my ambivalence
we are through
but never sufficient

do you see

my fortitude
my pride
my lack of strength
shame
how i blend into the wall
behind

see me
through me
remember me
let me go

do you share

my yearn
always for the diminutive
in the everlasting

the need
to stir

so fallible
so inevitable


and there comes you
so smooth
you fold me in
brush me out
lies me down

are you aware

are you aware of how you save me?
all of the sudden
life is not so unwieldy
all in all its still

step by step i touch down  
with you
again

and its sufficient

waste no time
explaining for her
she never gets what its like
for  a machoman
out there

give no effort
to  listen to her longer than
your crush
they've even made up a word
to prevent that
****

dont let her think about
making a point
judge her by the looks instead

and if she behaves badly
just call her a ****
and wonder outloud
what her family done wrong

it's her flaws
so punish her
still, dont give her the beauty of being a rebell
she must have been taught wrong
from somewhere

you hush her up
there's three simple words to describe her
beautiful, ugly or ****

it's as simple as that
move her from beautiful
to ****
if she reach more than
a certain amount of boyfriends
a year
or dismiss you

proven even by the hate of gay
there's something wrong with not beeing
man enough

you rip her apart
with feelings only a whip hand man
can provide her with

yet she's the one left with
shame and disbelief
answer
weren't you leading him on

give her the signal that
leading him on is punished
with ****

you never heard her rap about
a man in every state
with pride

because you see
there's a big difference
to the glory of it
when you add a S
in front of the he

as if our roads were never meant to cross
although our feets lead us right to this
like we never stood for real,
as I saw it in your eyes

and all that time that built our pieces back,
as if we never were meant to do anything other than
break, and build ourselves back
-          to this

I hope you found you liked yourself better this way,
like I did
(we were both so stormed apart as one)

with all things for now in hand
you did
make me happy
for some time

and that time
should always count in
as a reason enough
in the end

if they could see themselves now
twenty years ahead

if I had known
five years back
would I still have moved along

if we could see the truth
in the eyes of the prophet
while entering
how many would walk in

if we had the end
in our hands
for how many would the begining
still be worth more

sometimes I think we're blessed
with ignorance
lucky
time moves
one second at a time

for how many hours of
bliss and peace
wouldn't we miss
if we knew back then

how we were gonna die

woke up tonight
in the white ******
January dust

blinking eyes
so stiffed with
silvershaped rust

halfway open
as I looked at the
sun

cant tell where
this grey mist
began

one foot still
on this hard
steady floor

it might be shaking up
tomorrow
can never know for sure

now
you take your rain
and loosing time

I might fight for now
but i'll be fine

So

after all those years

all thoughts
deep at night
tying knots

all those nodes
of emotions
jammed

I guess we turned out okay

always inbetween

with and without
an undertone

like you said,
we'll stop talking
drift apart
live on

like I said,
we'll meet again
peacefully combined
  
who's to decide
what counts

I guess I always wanted to mean
something
I guess all parts aren't
affiliated
I guess we aren't
alright

but we are okay
for now
aren't we?