today.
you got married.

i recognise this
half-full
half-empty
yearning feeling

i used to get it all the time.
from your late night texts
what seems like
millions of years ago

an explosion of
emotions.
all in contrast

still
we always wished eachother
well
in the end.

today.
you got married.

now.
you are a married man.

sand
nestled in
everywhere.
tiny pieces of
pain and happiness

i know.
this is what we choose

like a tide.
do you remain
when the moon shifts

tonight
hide me.
in the corner of your
smile.

tomorrow
just won't find us here.

So this is the time in life
Where your high school friends are having children
Your exes are getting married

And you are just sitting there
In your small (yet cosy) apartment
Thinking of why that makes you sad

Like obviously you don't want that life yet
But it would be nice if they would all just chill down a bit
We're not quite there yet
(Are we?)

it was never
about the sun with you
but the moon
cold
surrounded by darkness

still,
a light
against it all

coffee cups in separate apartments
attending different weddings
soothing comments from parents
longing for grandkids
a sudden empty feeling
below the chest
when stumbling over fragments of
us

are you also afraid  
we will not find our way back?

I miss you so.

sometimes
i paint you up
in the back of my mind
where i kept you
all these years

i hide from
now
i guess

return to
whens
ifs
nevers

never ever
will we get there

you will not
hold my face
in your hands
and kiss me
for all times you
didn't

you will not
tell me
of all times you
wanted to, but
couldn't

you will not
confess

how you kept me
through all these years
in the back if your mind
just to
sometimes
paint me up