have you ever had those days
when you miss that feeling
of the blade touching your skin
and barely missing a vein?
the excitement you feel
when blood pours out
and the manic grin that
spreads across your face
as the pain subsides?'

i'll be honest,
it is what i have thought about
all day long.
i want the blood
and the pain and the
momental joy.

but, that is all it is.
the feeling flees the second
i am done, the high is gone
and all i am left with is
a ripped up wrist.

hopefully, love isn't the same way.
but, all great addictions usually are.

Your music is sensual, dark and languid
Mysterious and ****, hypnotic and sultry
The slow tempo and rumbling bass drums are a heavenly mix
I close my eyes and let the forlorn echoes immerse me
In a sea of falsetto vocals and stuttering percussions

Your music is enigmatic, puzzling and seductive
Pacifying and troubling, calming and cinematic
Your champagne crooning is a movie in itself
Telling me the tales of a gloomy ***-infused hangover life
And it connects to the depths of my soul
Even though I've never experienced it

Narcotized slow jams filled with samples of punk and rock
Transports me to an actual dream world
Your subtly crafted harmonies and beats are celestial
And your lyrics a painkiller
That numbs the wounds in my soul and takes me higher...

Your voice is R&B; but your lyrics are ***** rap
You take such vile words and turn them into something beautiful
and I adore that.

I am in love with a boy
Who was born blind
In his left eye
I had no idea until one day
His grandmother decided
To fill me in
And I almost laughed because
I saw no tell-tale signs
of this affliction
And like a small child
Acting on a prediction
I covered your eye with
My hands and asked,
"So you can't see me?"
Our noses nearly touching
But our souls feeling far
"No," he replied
"But I  don't need to
To know how beautiful you are."

we both work in the postal service
but neither one of us
has ever sent a single love letter
maybe it's the drill of the job
maybe its the grind of the machines
or the clack of the keyboards
grind turns to a drone
and i look around to what we thought
were industrialized patents
were actually what we had once considered our friends
was that where they disappeared to?
instead of quitting the dead end
i had assumed too fearful to follow the leap
they hid away in mail bins and P.O. boxes
i thought i was alone
maybe i was
maybe they really did leave
their souls gone
with empty shells of bodies
remnants of what once was
yes
i am still alone
those who i knew have fled the building
in search of a more meaningful existence
winding in up in god knows where
anywhere but here
these gluttonous pantomimes only accept hopefuls
midlife crises who leap
at the opportunity for promotion
like increasing payroll would reduce their age
same as the twenty five year old liberal art grads who need a filler
to help pay rent while they work
on what will collectively become hundreds of thousands of volumes unpublished
here i stand
twenty eight years old
and strip off my badge
as it falls to the floor
i walk out the door
say hello to the next boarding train
(last stop your hometown)
and goodbye to the dead end road.

hotels are casually destroying the enviornment
i love the feeling i get when
you accept that i'm
getting closer to you
I have so much to do but
let's get taco bell and
play minecraft all day
we can build a quiet town
while the world around ours
falls apart
snuggle baby, comfy love
baby talk, my sweet bliss
rotting me from the inside out, emotional decay
just one more
******* day i cannot handle
looking at your face
and i'm gone forever
I spend most nights suffering
but failing miserably
at relationships
babe if you only ******* knew
you were the closest thing to a soulmate
but the furthest away from true love
i still bang my head against the wall
I cover my ears and scream
when I can't handle the sound of this world's destruction
it's all louder and more apparent
without the saftey you granted me
you're probably happy as i'm being
tortured and devoured my soul
**** out and thrown away into a pit of
******* useless torment corprate casual slave hell but
we all die alone and that's what matters most so who rly cares

Anger,
as black as a hook,
overtakes me.
Each day,
each ****
took, at 8:00 A.M., a baby
and sauteed him for breakfast
in his frying pan.

And death looks on with a casual eye
and picks at the dirt under his fingernail.

Man is evil,
I say aloud.
Man is a flower
that should be burnt,
I say aloud.
Man
is a bird full of mud,
I say aloud.

And death looks on with a casual eye
and scratches his ****.

Man with his small pink toes,
with his miraculous fingers
is not a temple
but an outhouse,
I say aloud.
Let man never again raise his teacup.
Let man never again write a book.
Let man never again put on his shoe.
Let man never again raise his eyes,
on a soft July night.
Never. Never. Never. Never. Never.
I say those things aloud.