the next time your mind goes on wondering about it again, remember this. every love story has ended in tragedy whether it be death, war, or sickness and i will consciously never let that happen to us even if it means i dont tell you how i feel and you wonder why you deserve this hell

You make me question the what ifs. What if i told you how i feel? What if we had a straight forward conversation instead of tip toeing around topics? When i think about what to say to you only the clichés come to mind like “i hate you because you make me feel this way”.

I have never felt this way about anyone and i dont know if im making this all up in my head but i know im not because i know you and ive talked to you enough. Its not the same as before because im not making a version of you in my head just to get disappointed. The version in my head of you is who you are. I think you’re better than me in so many ways. I finally understand what they felt about me and that it was real for them because i feel that way about you. Tell me you do too? You make me question so much, its unfair.

I go back to when our hands touched thrice. Do you think about that ever?

home
/həʊm/


noun 
the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.

the feeling of sadness that overcomes me every now and then is what i feel the most associated with. it gives me the fulfillment that no other feeling can offer. sitting on the floor with tears continuously falling down my cheeks. and i turn to the mirror and there i am. back to 2016, or 2012 with the same flushed face and watery eyes. the same thoughts running through my head. this is the feeling of home