lydia: Favorites

Oct 2013 lydia

marina

i used to hate sundays,
but sometimes you hold
my hands in the pews
at church and i think that
i've been saved in more
ways than one

Oct 2013 lydia

Someone Else

Oct 2013 lydia

Chérie

Someone Else

You were the dream, I never wanted to wake up from,
I loved having you in my life and how my life had become.
I wish you knew, how much you meant to me,
My heart and soul belonged to you, they were no longer free.
Although I knew your heart and soul would never be mine,
But if there ever was just a slight chance, I hoped God would give me a sign.
I loved having your friendship, it meant everything to me,
And I hoped that you were not sorry.
I only wished you stayed apart of my life and didn't leave,
You were the one I hoped to always trust and believe.
Honesty and loyalty were what I saw when I look into your gorgeous eyes,
There was something about you that made me feel the way I did,
I seemed to be able to say what I felt with you.
That's something I thought I'd never be able to do with anyone,
And it scared me so much, that sometimes I just wanted to run.
I feared the worst all the time, I didn't know why,
But then I did, if only I could say it was a lie.
I often wish I could be someone else, other than me,
Someone of great beauty inside and out, and not just for me to see.

Oct 2013 lydia

I wish you could see me the way you saw her

Oct 2013 lydia

Athenia Roberts

I wish you could see me the way you saw her

I wish you could see me the way you saw her.
Invest in her hobbies,
And all she concurs.
Knowing her in and out,
The infatuation the adoration.
I may be with you
There is no difference.
I cannot control your point of views
My mind refuses to acquiesce.
I wonder how you would be,
The difference in all possibilities
You on my end instead
Feeling the pains of an unrequited lover's bed.
She is the bane of my insecurities
What was once a strong and confident woman
Has succumbed and bathes in endless pain.
How little I've become to let a lover's past
Possess me feeling inhumane.
I wish I could see me before I saw her.

Accepting you've moved on
Loving me
Why do I still feel so withdrawn?
I wish I could believe you love me more than you did her.

Is it my thirst for knowledge
The reason I'm broken?
Knowing all you've done for her
Yet none for me?
The time and energy I've always longed for,
I wish all you did for her you did for me.

I want to be secure with you,
To keep on loving you the way I do.
Enjoying our friendship and the intimacy we share
You care, I know.
But I'm struggling to stay happy with you
To forgive and let go.
I wish you knew how much I love you.

The frustration I'm going through
To stay with you
hoping,
You see more in me than what you saw in her.

Though I do not know
For your feelings are never shown.
The truth will set me free
And I'll no longer wish
you could see me the way you saw her.

Oct 2013 lydia

Voodoo dolls don't work,

Oct 2013 lydia

Morgan

Voodoo dolls don't work,

stop beating yourself up
for all the wrong
others have
done to you

you are the only one
who feels your pain
and you are letting
them destroy you

Oct 2013 lydia

the game

Oct 2013 lydia

ASB

the game

we are in and out,
we never call the next morning,
we flirt with other people
and we break each other's hearts.

we are casual and careless
and pretend it's all a game
because it's all we know to do
and we don't have another way.

but the stakes are high this time
and I can't hurt you anymore.
so I choose you, I'm all in,
and I will be forever yours.

I am through with playing games,
I am laying down the cards.
it is your turn now, my love,
but you've already won my heart.

Oct 2013 lydia

Learning How To Un-love You

Oct 2013 lydia

Mike Hauser

Learning How To Un-love You

You and I have been us so long
That's all I know how to do
But since you said goodbye, I'm gone
I'm having to learn something new

I'm too old to go back to school
If you must know the truth
This is the hardest thing I've ever done
Learning how to un-love you

Falling head over heals was the easy part
It's all I ever wanted to do
Love with you was a work of art
With the lines drawn out so smooth

Not sure I would have started this
In hindsight if I knew
How hard it'd be to study this
Learning how to un-love you

Oct 2013 lydia

Dreams

Oct 2013 lydia

Fi

Dreams

Perhaps I do not help myself
by writing of you
and how you tore at the tendons
of my heart

But sometimes
it makes things seem a bit more real
even if it does hurt
and people tell me to forget him

But it is very difficult to forget someone
when they speak to you
in your dreams

Oct 2013 lydia

A NOTE TO BUKOWSKI

Oct 2013 lydia

Tim Knight

A NOTE TO BUKOWSKI

Feeling fairly good tonight,
a note to Bukowski to drink again.*

I lost the hours of nine,
ten and one to the wine, bought
but days before in a rush out the door;
it was wet and I was late
to a meeting with myself in a basement
where windows wait upstairs, the casement
a see-through hole to everything outside,
to everything I want to be-

- it's a silent show when these days happen,
usually conjured up from empty pockets
and the need to be nowhere important,
safety curtains fall in front of shops:
they are not libraries for browsing
they are establishments for purchasing-in-

nine and ten came back to me,
one still escapes though, lost
to the palm of a waitress taking the money.

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