i've written you too many goodbyes, but right now ill tell you see you later because I know that one day we’ll cross paths with each other again, remember who we used to be, smile at each other, and say i love you quietly.
until then, just be okay.
-m.m

sweet pretty girl
i carry you on my shoulders
left and right, my angel or devil
honey eyes and strawberry lips,
face of constellations and words of a poet
trembling fingers to touch and pounding head of thoughts
is this right or this wrong
a girl, not a boy, a girl
my lover, my sin
sweet pretty girl

thank you for telling me not to worry,
for singing me to sleep,
and for running your cold fingers through my hair
thank you for holding my hand during a horror movie,
kissing my head for reassurance,
and for dancing to songs that shouldn't be danced to with me
thank you for memorizing my chick-fil-a order,
getting me coffee with too much milk and too little sugar,
and for going on rollercoasters even when you were scared
thank you for coming when no one else did,
for being my comfort during the uncomfortable,
and for loving me when i was unlovable.

i am nothing but a lovesick girl
i taint my heart with lies and tell my head to shut up
i can get lost in his eyes,  and ill try to convince myself I'm not in love
his smile is warm and pure comfort, with him i can paint a pretty picture and find art in clouds
his voice is safety and his laugh is life
he's not perfect in any way, but his love is like listening to frank ocean when it's too late at night

my face winkled and crumbled under the sheets
my salty tears flooded my eyes and burnt my cheeks
my throat in a chokehold and my heart being poked at
my hair is grey and dead, my lips are cracked and blue
my body a black hole, my arms reaching out to nothing
i don't scream a mothers cry
i weep a childs tear

i cried to the moon last night about them
i cry every night, starting at least half-past ten
i miss them, i love them, what did i do wrong
we all grew up too soon,
what a shame, but what can you do?
I've held on too tight, my hands are now a fright
my shoulders can no longer carry,
our friendship is a poisoned berry
too sour, bitter, and everything in between
i cried to the moon last night about them
i cry every night, starting at least half-past ten

I am my own destruction,
my own monster,
my own chaos,
my own critic
I am my own healer,
my own lover,
my own carer,
my own supporter
I am my own soul,
my own mind,
my own heart,
my own light
I am my own
what a wondrous thing it is to be a human