Indulge your senses and your appetites
Lust after an aching for desires
Love is always the obvious choice
But pleasure has the loudest voice
Pining over someone you can’t have
In pain, denial, looking for a distraction
It’s a jungle of emotions
Art with a verdict
Cause *** is never as good or evil
As many make it out to be
It’s not ordinary or a luxury
Yet we treat it as the cause and cure

Is there something you forgot?
I’m still sitting by the building with the gold pillars on top
Is there something you forgot?
I’m still breathing and therefore I still have a shot

Some beat around the bush
Others dive right in
You’ll never know
How it feels to be in my skin

Is there something you forgot?
I’m sitting on the beach with a gun and a six-pack on top
Is there something you forgot?
The devil exists so heaven won’t rot

But the past isn’t passing by fast enough
And the future waits but only in handcuffs
And how can you blame all the sinners who sin
You’ll never know how it feels to be in my skin

Is there something you forgot?
I’m sitting in my room with no ceiling on top
Is there something you forgot?
Thunderstorms can make you mourn only if you get caught

Some beat the disease
Others dive right in
Others teach
That no one can win

And if you feel wild and empty, tame but too full
You’ve got the bath, the ocean, or the swimming pool
So stick your head under
So stick your head under
So stick your head under

Its days like these
I wish I was in a coma
Unable to feel the feeling of being watched
And being free to dream endlessly
Instead I chain-smoke
And look at the sky
Cursing the birds
And blessing the butterflies
Trying to ignore my third eye
Which has turned into a ticking clock
And all I pray for is just to get by
But so far that’s not happening
And I have no money to unwind
So my soul keeps unraveling
I need a change
And I need it quick
Before I see another shooting star
And wish for death

You’re with me through the highs and lows
Whether I’m shaking hands or throwing elbows
You’re with me through the parties and the funerals
With coffee or tea and mostly *****
After *** and after I eat
In cold or in heat
After I shower and before I go out
When in luck or in doubt
You help to both stimulate and avoid conversation
You’re my muse when the record player keeps breaking
You keep my hands and mouth busy
Helping me to avoid accidents
The world says I should quit you,
But how can I betray my only friend?

It’s us against the world
We partook in society’s bad habits
Just to see what was missing
But the treasure was empty
And we found each other
It was all a test
And will always be a struggle
But as for now,
We’re passing with flying colors
There must be a God
Because miracles happen every day-
When someone believes in you
And has faith in your future-
The hope that an apocalypse is just a sunset
And that mornings always bring a fresh start
There will always be tests
Always be struggles
But as for now,
We’re passing with flying colors

They want to send me to AA
Just for drinking a bottle a day
That’s nothing, I say
Compared to the Thompson’s and Hemingway’s
And they don’t have an internal divide
Where society’s poison seeps inside
And everything is left to die
Including one’s own peace and quiet
But while they’re out balancing checkbooks
I’m around balancing scales-
The two ends of a triangle
Trying to reach the ultimate peak of harmony
And it’s this imbalance which turns me to the bottle
Would you rather it be pills or powder on full throttle?
So please let me get my beer gut in peace
One of these days the new leaf will turn over

Scars
Up and down her legs
Torn apart
Her nights become her days
Her nerves are dangling by a string
It takes all her courage just to sing
Until he took her hand and said
Your earthly body is temporary
What lies ahead and what lies above
Is a body more than heavenly
And it’ll be indescribable
And it’ll be divine
And it’ll be perfect
No matter what time your body goes
So don’t fear the skin you live in
It’s just a veil from end to beginning

It’s mid-afternoon in the sweltering sun
And my mind is stumbling like a cloud
And I’m trying to empty its contents on the table
But I’m afraid of what I’ll find.
And if I stay here I’m doomed
To end up like my parents,
Looking at the same walls
******* every speck of paint
Shattering each framed family photo
With my pseudo-telekinetic powers
And if I go I’m doomed to end up a *****,
A heartsick wanderer.
Vulnerable to the forces and people after me
Staying or going won’t eradicate my fears
So what is option C?
I’ve already tried madness
And pills and alcohol
And all the quick fixes I could get my hands on
And if I fall for him,
I could collapse like a dying star
And if I don’t tell him how I feel
I might lose my place in the universal race
And have to chase him in my next lifetime
I’ve been so long on the defense it’s taken its toll
I’ve become fat and lazy and a nasty drunk
With a switchblade at my side
And my medication slows my metabolism
My DNA slows my metabolism
And I wonder how many elements I could swallow on the periodic table
And I think about the time I took speed and drank endless pots of coffee
And how much of a rush it was at night but how horrific it was in the day
And if I had money everyday I’d drink myself to death without mercy
Choking on one’s ***** has to hold some poetic merit
All accidents are beautiful as long as you’re a bird chained to the sky
Beneath outer space and God’s realm of heaven
Still no matter how much I write the world sees me as
Fat, lazy and useless-
A baby that needs to be supervised
But needs to get a job because times are tight
But the only job that doesn’t give me panic attacks
Is the job I’m doing right now
Which may or may not serve a purpose after I’m long gone
And I feel I may die heartbroken and penniless
But refuse to conform to a society that shunned me
And some believe in randomness and coincidence
But I still see in signs and symbols,
Mostly from my dreams which the devil wakes me up from too early
And the clouds no longer talk
The rabbits no longer come in pairs
But I still believe in the portal in the garden
Where the face of an ancient turtle welcomed me.

I hover
Looking for a place to land
Undercover
You won’t know me till I’m dead
Still I try to
Penetrate your force field
But even under your sheets
You’re so unyielding
But your room is area 51
And your books have all come undone
And your fortress is a loaded gun
But it’s there I like to hover
So keep me in the back of your mind
With crop circles serpentine
It’s only there where I can unwind
Until I find another place to hover
You won’t know me till I’m dead
You won’t know me till I’m dead

Summer is a time for get-togethers
And unforgettable moments-
But this is no love letter
How I miss the snow on the ground
Instead my flip-flops pound and pound
Against hard sweaty cement
Call me a little bent
But in summer there’s no time to repent
Everyone’s too busy having all the fun
I see pictures of babies and toes in the sand
But summer ain’t my season
So I ask mother nature one demand
Let me keep the sun
But throw away the memories
That I never was invited to have

He’s got milk in the brain
And I guess I’m to blame
A friend on his pillow
A citizen in his hallway
A ghost on his doorstep
A ******* for life
And I wonder which master he serves
Did I get what I deserved?
Is this what freedom looks like?
Guys can be free but forget the girls
We play it cool until we fold
It’s all a game, or so we’re told
I never consumed his milk
But I bet it has a bitter taste
He’s wrapped in plastic again
And his cup needs to be filled
By another friend on his pillow

You laugh as she trips up and falls down
But what you don’t see is an invisible crown
That she wears underground
Cause she’s clumsy
She doesn’t try to impress
When she goes out she sports
A raggedy awful dress
But you should show her some respect
It’s not easy living in this world
As a girl
And when you trip up and don’t land
She’ll be the first to lend you a hand
Cause she’s clumsy
And doesn’t know the meaning of
Being cruel for the sake of a group

He was a traveling man
Traversed the world by balloon
One day he landed in a magical place
Became a leader, the sun and the moon
This is a place where animals could talk
And people were taught in the arts
Could it be it’s all alchemy
What else could turn light into dark
But who was the very first lady
The one who possessed the first magic wand
Who turned sounds into syllables
Who taught the language down here in Oz
And who got the credit for it
Certainly, not she
They call it an accident
Or something done by he
And the angels look like flying monkeys
The angels look like flying monkeys

There he is
He is the center
Of a great big wide circle
Whenever he moves left of center
My right brain starts to hurt
Cause people get married
And he digs a grave
And she starts getting pedicures
And really should someone contain all of you
Consume every inch of you
Is this union a patsy for something better
Something more obscure
Because there he is
He is my center
Of a great wide big circle
Whenever he moves right of center
My left brain starts to hurt

******* and a sly grin
Mixed with a glass of root beer and gin
Then the train came running through
Oh how my heart aches for you
Like smoking in bed
Like waking up in someone’s arms
Like a lamb that’s slain
Like someone else’s blood running through your veins
Like recycled air
Like photosynthesis
Like a cloud producing rain
Like a blessing that’s a bane
Like you slurring someone else’s name
Like you saying someone else’s name

Three fingers and a stylish grin
Mixed with a glass of tonic and gin
Then the train came running through
Oh how my soul bleeds for you

Drowning in a tub of slime and slush
The mud of the brown in your blood
Down into a dry carcass of wasteland
Where everything is dusty and gray and dying
Then it comes…the redemption of rain
Except you can’t keep your feet on the ground
You’re soaring above the clouds, with no attachments
Drop by drop the universe becomes alive and green again
This mania makes you feel like a millionaire

My sister pulled my into her bedroom with a hyena laugh
She sat me down and I felt someone’s arms around me
It was Tim Robbins. A kind soul with the initials of my enemy
He was gently manipulating. Telling me to pull the trigger and get it over with
His words were soothing but could have easily been scripted
Where am I? Who is this man?
I tore off his face and saw a face like in Mulholland Drive-
A face you don’t ever want to see again but a face you can’t remember all the same
Where am I? Who am I? What have I done?
Last thoughts: Pull the trigger. Wield the knife. Pull the trigger.

Seven demons you cast out
A hundred more could take their place
So I’ll stay close to you
The savior of the human race
She witnessed the execution
She sees where he is laid
She brings spices to anoint him
She weeps by the empty tomb
She sees two angels in white
He appeared to her first
She, who was last
Seven demons he cast out

I don’t play nice with girls
Rather go hungry with the boys
But some sick twist is waiting
To destroy my every toy

Fascist stares and glares
I can’t escape this gravity
A grave and dire situation
That ends by the edge of the sea

Bound and *******
Something she enjoys
But somewhere over the bedpost
Is a camera being coy

I don’t play nice with girls
Rather go hungry with the boys
But some sick twist is waiting
Some sick twist is waiting

The diamond on her finger
The man who made it
And she

A product of the times
You dissolve like sugar cubes
Like the words on my salty tongue
Tears are glued to my face

Still you’re everything to everyone
Especially me
And he’s attracted to my blackness
Like a bee on the verge of a sting

And thoughts don’t bleed red
They filter through black holes
And grey matter
As the earth gets flatter
And the head explodes

The diamond on her finger
The man who made it
And she

A little girl and her father broke into my house
Their aim was to steal my daddy’s records
Later they said it was to open a bar
There were way more records there than I remembered
Crates and boxes stacked on top of each other
They let me keep some of the Doors’ records
I don’t know how they knew I liked that band
I panicked, knowing how long my dad had kept and preserved his collection
My sister showed up somewhere, somehow
I asked her to call the police, but she refused and refused
I was bewildered
I finally got a phone, but it didn’t work.
I found a gun
But it was a water gun
It shot out pink goo at the offenders
Finally I flashed to the scene of a hollowed out lake


We must have looked like witches and wizards
Flying on our homemade broomsticks
Soaring just below the clouds
Swan-diving into pillows of treetops
The feeling was indescribable-
Being in control
Until a sister sold me down the river
Placed you on sale to the highest bidder
Words were exchanged
My heart took flight and was broken

God and the devil were in cahoots that night.

Two places at once
Factories and farms
You conquered my city
With aid and with harm

Two places at once
How I wish I could be
Got over the night before
With champagne and herbal tea

Two places at once
Churches and dives
I conquered your city
To my great surprise

Two places at once
How I wish you could be
Right by my side
Not just a memory

Catch
Catch me if you can
When I’m caught
You’ll catch me off guard

Take a bow
Take a bow
I need to get my protein somehow

Catch
Catch up with me
When you’re caught
I’ll catch you off guard

Take a bow
Take a bow
I need to get my protein somehow
Take a bow

Mother nature points her finger at a flower
It blooms and wilts at the same time
No rhyme or reason
Just a changing of the season
But the moon doesn’t mix with the tide

“Do you want me?”
“Do you want me?”
Cries out the soul of a jelly bean
Who’s floating around in space somewhere
If only you could go up there

Mother nature points her finger at a forest
It burns and shivers wickedly
No rhyme or reason
Just a purging of the season
Where one and one make three

“Do you want me?”
“Do you want me?”
Cries out the soul of a jelly bean
Who’s floating away in space somewhere
If only you could go there

Pervert me
Convert me
Twist me
Turn me
To the surface, let it boil
Forget me, keep the spoils

I need extension
Some self-expression
I need extension

Internal traffic
Noise and laughter
Give me shelter
From this jungle

I need extension
Emerge me awkwardly
We’ll come together
In self-expression

I believe in the spirit
I have more faith than reason
I question my own country
Heaven and hell in all seasons

I can't conceive that
God's mystery
Can be pinned down by one book
But every now and then
When I lose another friend
I decide to take a look

And the ants crawl to the amphitheater
There's crumbs and love for everyone
Like smoke through a spider's web
There's nothing to be done
We just spin on and on

On a bed of air
With my head towards heaven
I’m on cloud nine
But my chart reads seven
The universe is giving me
A private dance
While all the world below
Stays in its locked trance

Step into a world
Where the heart rules over the head
You won’t be frowning on your death bed

Blowing in the wind
On tailor-made wings
Feet on the ground
But I’m not ready to sing
The universe is giving me
A tinge of romance
So please don’t wince
This is my chance

Step into a world
Where the heart rules over the head
What would you say, on your death bed

Till death do us part
Is such a nice start
But I’ll carry you with me
Into eternity
Into the overtime
Into the in-between
Like paper dolls
We wither away
But I’ll cling to your ashes
As they burn in the day
Till death do us part
Is such a nice start
But it isn’t good enough
For me
So I’ll carry you with me
Into eternity
Into the overtime
Into the in-between
Into the future arms of me

City of mystery
City of misery
City of lights
City of night
In tragedy and terror
We implore the skies
Seeking a sign of
Some god’s grand design
Is it the shadow or reflection
An ape or a robot
A wall or a mirror
A memory you forgot
City of misery
City of mystery
City of night
City of lights

People call it running away
I say I’m running towards something
We’ll all be sold on judgment day
So why must we wait around
Raindrops fall and look like bullet-holes
On the hood of your car
There’s always a victim inside
Wet and full of scars
Escaping gravity with faith
We cling to the unknown
It’s great to see a lighthouse
And angels made of snow
There’s a sweetness
To the acid in your mouth
A silent riot, cold and quiet
We are the art and we are bound

Genuflect
Is what they expect
But I rather kneel down
To my muse up above
And the pancake
Is supposed to cure
But lately I’ve found
It’s only a thorn
I don’t belong here
In these holy places
Baptized myself a million times
Haven’t been granted no graces
All I have left to do
Is to wait on the angels
With their bagpipes
And feathers
And figure out whether
I’m worthy
Whether I’m worthy

Keep the city lights close but far
So I can find comfort in Babylon’s charm
Sometimes the sun just isn’t enough
So rock me gently in your strong arms
But you quiver as I shiver
You slither as I wither
I want to die laughing
With cup overflowing
I need letters and syllables
For this flower to grow
But you shiver as I quiver
You wither as I slither
There’s rain and there’s saliva
There’s moonlight and there’s blood
There’s smoke and there’s bad lungs
There’s boots and there’s mud
And you quiver as I shiver
And you slither as I wither

May just be prattling
But I’m still making a sound
Like the tree in the forest
That no one hears falling
I got the intensity
But you’re measuring pitch
These words speak volumes
Keep up with my speed
Embrace the melody
Of wounded lips
May just be a façade
Never wanted to be language
The talk of angels
Or something else heavenly
Could be Pentecost
Could be a tongue roaming free

Cut the ribbons
Unwind and unravel
Into a sculpture
Suited for time travel
Intrepid souls
Dare not follow you
There’s no one left
You’re cut in two
And when they want
A tour of the kingdom
She’ll say yes
Despite their rejection
But while she’s still here
She has a broken wing
If no one will mend it
Then how can she sing
Kneeling ****** at the altar
She requests nothing trivial
She only begs for mercy-
An answer is pivotal

She had eyes the color of planet earth
And I’m sinking as I climb
Can’t give this feeling a name
When your dead, dumb and blind
And the television-
I swear it’s trying to tell me something
And the world outside-
I swear it’s dying to see me weeping
I’m not ready but I’m ready
I’m ready but I’m not ready
I’m ready but I’m not worthy
I’m not worthy and I’m not ready
Illuminated but still in the dark
I’m fighting off demons in my dreams
Dangerous it is to dream by day
But that is my reality
They keep pushing me
They keep chasing me
They keep following me around
Following me around
They’ve got their high beams on
I look to the stars
And I’m ready to go upstairs
But they’re trying to run me down
And then, again, I’m not ready
Not ready to die this way

In playing chess with death
Keep your visions in check
Scream to the high heavens
And get a moral bellyache

Serpents flutter in the sky
Dragons from another planet
Their song like fire spewed
And everyone loves their tune

A juggler’s ball
Suspended in midair
Death disguised as priest
Your confession he bears

The mustard seed moved the mountain
But my mountain is a demon who won’t budge
I’m in need of a miracle lever
That’s as silent as a heart’s grudge

Red, gold and green
Wears the Rastaman in woe
Waiting for the traffic light
To turn green and say “Go”

I blacked out
And all I saw was white
It was all too radiant
Next to the plastic lying around
He took me for a walk
The panic subsided
He on the hunt to look like my hero
Me on the hunt for a place to hide
His camera
His camera
He showed me his camera
He told me he took advantage
Like a crazed wounded man in need of a bandage
What was I supposed to think?
What was I supposed to think?
What happens to privacy when
The flood gates of a lens open
And you become a circus prize
To anyone who feasts their eyes
Like a drink before the plunge
Like a needle between the toes
Like ignoring your gut instinct
Like a slowly wilting rose
I just want forgiveness
For the drug still in my body
I beg and pray for mercy
For the drug still on my body
I just want high ceilings of endless sky
And bedside manner from the trees
And whispers of ancients on the breeze
And when I get lonely I’ll get down on my knees
I’ve got millions of questions pertaining to why
I got friends I’ll see in another life
I got false hope but it gets me by
And I run like the devil’s chasing me

Nighttime has its crime
And daylight has its violence
I’ll travel to the Saturn of time
And try to turn back the smiles
I gave to those with their pseudo-love-
Crows disguised as doves
I came to play like a child
With a pill upon my tongue
They came to conquer their desires
By dissolving right from wrong
Cause nighttime has its violence
And daylight has its crime
I break the hearts of those I love
When love is what I had in mind
I’ll travel back to Pluto
Fade out into the galaxy
But I’ll live on like the setting sun
Rising in the east
I need a change
I need a change

There’s voodoo in New Jersey
And I’m losing brownie points
There’s a devil in the pine barrens
And he’s looking to anoint
There’re the dark suburban houses
With their cookie-cutter frames
There’re child-bearing stickers on mini-vans
Filled with kids who need taming
There’re bus stops reeking of poverty
Filled with those who aren’t well-groomed
They’re fast food places and strip joints
Where food and *** are consumed
They’re people who are evil
Living in this wretched state
Socio and ******-paths-
And everyone’s related

Trekking terra incognita
With some cranial damage
Below there’s tide-pooling
And no one has a bandage
There’s turbulence and opulence
There’re roads that are reeling
Floating along this obstacle course
When all I need is high ceilings

Don’t believe him when he says he’ll set you free
He’ll slice up your halo and sell it for a cheap fee
And when your sinking in the quicksand, powerless, in need
He’ll be the first to cut the rope, with a grin like those on TV
The machine has no heart yet you’re feeding it now
With words and small gestures, they’re those on the prowl
Who’ll make no exceptions for them hearts of purity
No one knows how they got that way, like those on TV
And it’s a momentary thing, permanent but not set in stone
Everyone’s wasting their sweetness on a place that can’t be home
And everyone’s dreaming of hurt instead of hope and let it be’s
Who’s intercepting our minds, probably those on TV
Walking on a wire, settling for the ball and chain
From these clichés and drama plays we don’t refrain
Who has the message, who sent us in this direction without the keys
Who’s turning this world around, is it those on TV?

She prays upon an oval pill
While the universe plays the blues
Colors mix with audio pollution
Incongruous are the hues
Her head’s a church of bats
Screeching and shrilling, imagine that
Her stereo is her only muse

Cut the rock moon out with scissors
But you can’t trace the shape of the gas sun…
Katabatic winds
Predatory cold
It’s only been days
And already winter’s old
Clashing clouds
Dire straits
The world’s in such a fever
It can’t see straight
Cut the rock moon out with scissors
But you can’t trace the shape of the gas sun…
Feel God’s breath upon your back as he blows you towards death
Blows you to death
The world’s in such a fever
It can’t see straight

Relics of darkness
Flood my mind
But under my feet
His light still shines
What have I to give
What have I to learn
What shall I believe
How long must this burn
Heaven’s in a scroll, or so we’re told
His word is the skin that never grows old
Rough thickets of thorns, I walk through daily
But so did she, the one called Mary
I’m waiting for the day
When red hot fire surrounds me
And I float up in a cloud, with daylight all around me

You put me into a state of emergency
Announcing the funeral of my youth
In my bed the pillow’s hard and stiff
My mind is alive and aloof
With thoughts both dangerous and real
Reading minds is not surreal
But a scary task to conquer
I can tell from her screams this is serious
I keep that naïve melody to put me to sleep
But it does no good- the wails still creep
Into my bones, which ache like a lost diamond in the deep
Then a man who pretended to be Jesus read my mind
And I came undone- who are these people under God’s sky
Strangers they all were but not strange enough for me
In that area I reign queen
So I think about the passing time
And if I can’t be myself I’m better off dead
How dare you attempt to get inside my head
The caverns are too dark and deep
They alone put me to sleep
I’m weary, waiting for the day when I can say
“This must be the place.”

Had a bad fall today
I spread His words out like needles in the hay
Only wanted to solve mystery
But I stretched out beyond the limits-
You were nourishing me
So I pray, don’t let the passer-by trample me
Underfoot, don’t let me be a poor creature
Send an angel to put me back in my place
In the nest- where I can get some rest
Till I’m ready to fly
Till I’m ready to fly

The void is formless-
Nothing that is something
An existence which is non-existent
Yet it has form
It appears grotesque like a monster
So we scorn it
We only love the beautiful shapes
We only understand symmetry
And still the void has a face
Limitless, lawless and free
A great heaven and a little earth were made
In great time, supposedly so
But this great heaven is unreachable
And this earth is the lowest of the low

On the brink of extinction, we were two hot messes
Swerving out of control
The world just didn’t reciprocate our guesses
As to what should be said, done or sold
Lost in the circus of merchants and wine
We somehow found each other
A reflection of colors changing through time-
Our eyes mirror one another’s
Still society weighs on our shoulders
A heavy burden for lovers, not fighters
But since you came along as the former,
You made the load a little bit lighter
For this I’m forever grateful
Though we battle time and loss
With you, a moment is eternity-
Something divine and not lost
We’re one heart beating
One mouth breathing
One soul searching
And it’s all been worth it

We live in a world of undigested hatred
We salivate over shadows of malice
We don’t know who or where to turn to
We’re far from milk mountains and the crystal palace
We take baths to drive sadness from our minds
Cause after all, all life is a trial
When we’re awake we’re flooded with fiends
****** impulses sneak into our dreams
Infirmities restrain us from reaching true grace-
Let alone knowing our place
Some tremble at the thought of true praise
But speaking in tongues requires no wage
Light is the king of colors, defeating sinners’ oil
What goes up comes down, just as the victor’s spoils
If you see God, be sure to say hello
And keep some yoke for your wounded halo