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 Dec 2013 Sarah
unadored
cries from my soul are poems
echoing beauty, tainted with sadness
hollow words, empty being
my body ruining my mind
my mind ruining my body
trapped in a void of self-hate
longing for the key to escape
a wilting flower, kept alive only by the raindrops escaping my eyes
on the cusp of existence.
wrote this a while back
 Dec 2013 Sarah
Matthew Walker
Sometimes when my mind drifts
it goes back to endless hallways
and that all too familiar scent
overtakes my senses

My spine actually cringes
at the thought of the needles
piercing the central nervous system
they forgot to numb

my thoughts swim in the pools
that formed in my mother's eyes
as she quoted the neurologist
"your son is dying."

I can still taste the confusion
that drowned my confidence
and left me wondering
if it'll ever resurface

my dreams never stopped crying,
if they even have the chance to exist
they're nothing short of terrifying,
nightmares replaced the rest

it's odd that I can remember
the sickness that consumed me
but completely and utterly forget
the happiness that prequeled it
12/29/13
 Dec 2013 Sarah
Ek
All of You
 Dec 2013 Sarah
Ek
Haunted in the dark, I extrude the year from my brain, and shuffle them one by one; the pieces that I have built up around me. It is my fortress and my prison. The walls are painted with bikes racing through town and notes passed in class. Late night messages hang from the lights, and sinking suns dance across the tiles. The promise to never come back to this forsaken town hangs thick in the air. 300 60 5 snapshots float like lanterns around me. I could dance in them and I could die in them all at once. The bond. The distance. The promise. The reality. The new faces. The turned faces. The hope. The fall. I push it all away with every scratch of my pen until the air is empty and eerie, until I'm left laying alone in the 2 o clock indigo blue
It was me, not you
 Dec 2013 Sarah
am
"Do you love me?" she asked.

5
It was a question I had worn on my lips for years;
Threads weaved in and out of my soul,
Easy pulled.
In your killing hesitation
I knew the answer.
You pulled the thread,
As tiny strings fell down,
Scattering on the floor.

4
Somehow I always knew
No one could ever love me.
I loved that **** boy as a friend
And as a lover.
But he never bothered to love me;
His heart beats
For another.

3
Please don't pretend
That everything is okay.
Do not grab my arm
Or try to hug me;
Do not even bother to look my way.
I know every **** song
That boy ever hummed
And every lyric
Remaining on his lips;
The closer I got
To reading to the lyrics
The further he stepped away.
Farther and farther
Away.

2
My not-so lover,
My not-so friend;
Please do not leave me
Standing alone.
My heart beats
For your innocent love.
Please look at me one more time
And fake the love,
Please whisper the soft lyrics
Into my ear.
Good bye my not-so lover
Good bye my not-so friend

1
I blew you a kiss
With the last breath I took.

*0
-A.M.
 Dec 2013 Sarah
j
I thought I knew addiction
when I turned 16,
I was forced into smoking
left craving it's feel

I thought I knew addiction
when I first felt the pleasure
of losing 2 lbs
and skipping my dinner

I thought I knew addiction
when I first sipped alcohol
left wanting more
feeling like a fool

but I only knew addiction
when I met you
when you held me in your arms
and told me not to let go

why in the world
would I want to let go
when the moment we pulled away
I would be left needing more?

I knew of no addiction
until you held my hand tight
told me that you loved me
in the dead of night

I am left now
confused and alone
lost without you
because you were my home

and I still desire you even now
but my heart is in tatters
and my mind is in two
 Dec 2013 Sarah
Emily
***** and red bull
Allow me to forget
How you don't love me
But it only provides
Temporary relief
© Peyton 2013
 Dec 2013 Sarah
Matthew Walker
I don't want to lie with you
I just long to be with you
making love isn't even on my mind
I just need to feel you breathe

even if only our elbows
lightly press against each other
while I sit beside you
I am content

Your presence is enough.
12/14/13
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