I wanted it to be a reality,
But I was kidding myself,
It could never happen,
It will never change,
I am alone,
Once more,
Its not the idea,
It's the risk,
Whats more important,
Me being there,
Or not at all,
I guess it's out of my hands,
So i'll put myself back in the box,
And throw away the key.

I'm screaming on the inside,
I'm bleeding out from my eyes,
My breath has become heavy,
Gasping for more air,
Did you even care,
Because I've been played,
And you've reached the finish line,
Leaving me weak and alone,
The one person a cared about gone,
You didn't even want to try,
So if you ever read this,
You will know how you made me feel.

A lot can happen in a year,
As this time goes on,
You slowly start to change,
As every encounter,
Gives you a new perspective,
On how you perceive,
The world around you.

It's funny,
How one moment,
Can change everything,
And have a lasting impact,
On your relationships with people,
It's stupid.

I'm alive,
Yet I am not there,
My mind wandering,
People talking,
But it's just background noise,
I wonder does this make them feel alive,
Are they truly there,
Is anything real,
Am I real?

I can't find it,
I can't feel it,
When your down,
I fell your pain,
You are what I bleed,
I was too busy looking for you,
In someone else,
When you where there all along.

What are we?
You just fill my head,
With endless questions,
But always fail to mention,
What we are,
What we are doing.

You're not over it,
Over him,
So where does that put me?
I'm like the toy,
That you just build,
And slowly start to breakdown.

What should I do?
Should I just leave,
But then who would you have?
Who would I have?  

Will I ever be free of this torment,
It's like i'm stuck in this cage,
Waiting for you to set me free,
But you don't,
And I'm stuck,
Waiting,
Waiting,
Time has become my enemy,
Ticking down the days,
I don't want to do this anymore,
I just want it all to end,
I can't take it,
Maybe I should,
Who would actually care.

Let me tell you something,
I'm scared,
Of myself,
My urges.

Someday I'm afraid,
I might take it to far,
Or lash out to hard.

I suppress who I am,
Because I'm scared,
No one likes me,
That no one cares.

I feel alone,
Most nights,
Most days.

I follow the crowd,
To hide myself,
I'm not an individual.

I wanted you to save me,
But you couldn't,
I fear I'm losing myself.

When I gave you,
a part of myself,
It was to show you,
How I feel.

But now there is this distance,
I hate it,
We used to be close,
But people change,
And so do feelings.

I want to tell you,
That you are beautiful,
I want to just pick you up,
and kiss you,
I want to feel,
The beat of your heart,
But I hold myself back,
Because you would never love me.

First It was nothing,
But no friends could be so close,
She touches me,
In a way like no other,
But only as a friend,
That's what I thought anyway.

A while back,
She asks me,
Do you find me attractive?
I reply,
But before I answer,
She already knew what I was going to say,
As if she could tell in my eyes,
Then it was back to the same old,
touching and flirtatious gestures,
fir the rest of the night.

Then whilst sober,
She doesn't know how to think about me,
Then silence,
Silence,
S I L E N C E,
Nothing no word no peep.

We meet again,
She has a sadness in her eyes,
And I'm the void to fill her pain,
To make her laugh,
She asks the same question,
Do you find me attractive?
She grabs my arm then we stare into each others eyes,
We feel it but we have to resist,
But dogs will always chase cats,
And thats the way it is.

There is a breaking point,
Not normally seen,
Never heard,
When people can't control themselves anymore,
When all emotion pours out,
Uncontrollable and inevitable,
This is a time of vulnerability,
And sometimes they just need a helping hand.

You made me feel something,
For the first time in years,
Separated me from the void,
With words of kindness and love,

But that love was full of empty promises,
And now my hearts in two,
Its okay that your fine,
But for me its like I'm being cheated on take two.

I feel cold,
Cold to touch,
Cold inside,
My senses are becoming numb,
My world is turning darker and darker,
Until I am one with the void.

I wanted to feel you,
Let you know all I'm feeling is true,
I wanted to see your perspective,
So I could finally see the light from your eyes

So I'll wait for you,
Stand behind all your decisions,
I will respect how you feel,
And love you from afar

I think I'm falling for you,
And now I think you know,
But I don't think we know,
What that truly means for us,
I feel that now I can love again,
But I can't see myself with anyone but you,
This isn't  going to end well,
That I know for sure,
But thats what happens,
When friendships on the line.

I'm conflicted,
I want it to be a reality,
I want to see how it turns out,
As this could be something good,
But I wouldn't know what we would do,
If we lost each other,
so tell me what to do.

1 Hour,
Freedom,
Where I could just be me,
No stress,
No restraints,
Just Nachos,
Fries,
And Garlic Bread.

When I'm gone,
Will anyone be there,
Will anyone care,
Would they even feel close,
To how I'm feeling right now,
There is an unspoken beauty to death,
There is tranquility,
There is peace,
No more worrying,
No  more problems,
Just silence.

Deseo,
Puedo sentirte,
Más allá de las palabras,
No me importa lo que la gente piensa,
Todo lo que importa,
Es que me paso el tiempo con usted,
Como te veo en una luz que ningún otro puede.

To you I say hello,
A new window,
To what was a closed door,
It's funny how the world works,
Things seem to point you into new directions,
As if it was a part of some grand plan.

It feels like I'm drowning,
slowly going deeper,
I can't swim,
but i can slowly disappear,
as i hit the surface,
I think of your warm embrace,
but what is warm
when your being drowned in your own tears?

I used to think you were my drug,
Hit it then quit it,
But I got addicted,
Now all I want is that *****,
The pure ecstasy I crave,
As I go deeper it only gets stronger,
I'm hooked,
And I don't want to come down,
I just want to feel as high as I do,
When i'm with you,
But supply and demand,
Isn't the same as it used to be,
When all I wan't is that hit.

The more time I spend,
The more I talk,
The fear that the spark will fade,
That we will grow apart,
And you won't like me,
As I like you.

I wish I could control them,
But for me its like a switch,
Either they are there,
Or there are none at all,
When I have them I wish I didn't,
As my love is always placed in the wrong hearts,
Who don't feel the same for me,
All I can do is wish the best for them,
And love them from afar,
As I will just get hurt.

There is a fire burning,
And I can't move my eyes,
Even when there are no embers,
It burns in me,
So I embrace it,
As the flame cleanses my sin,
And burbs away my love,
So be ready for the ash,
As its your turn now to pick up the pieces.

Whe spend our lives limited,
Living over the same routine,
Day in day out,
And for what gain?

So today I'm stepping out of that box.

The lines are starting to blur know,
I feel like there always could be something more,
All I want to do is find out,
But I doubt I ever will.

You abuse me because I joke,
Then you think I find pleasure,
In your pain,
And that no one is on your side,
As if anyone was ever on mine,
I was gonna tell you something,
Important to you and not to me,
She truly loves you dude,
And these words are now turning to ash,
In my mouth,
You think I'm like him,
Someone who never gave a **** to apologise,
But the second I try,
You tell me to go away,
Then little by little you tear everything away from me,
And then you think that is fair,
About one joke and two sentences,
I think you're the one who needs to open their eyes.

I needed space,
So I could find myself,
Support myself for once,
Instead of holding other people,
One could say im selfish,
But I need to fix myself,
Before I can help anyone else.

Everyone is made of glass,
Some are durable than others,
But we are all fragile.

Trying to rectify other people mistakes,
When I have my own,
Trying to help people's love life,
When my own is non existent,
Trying to save people's lives,
When your own is on the edge,
I don't know when this will end.

The same look in your eyes,
As if you see him in me,
I don't if it's you just missing him,
Or that there's something their,
Hidden beneath them brown eyes,
And the cracks in my heart.

Nothing is the same,
The game has changed,
I don't know what i want to do,
Check or fold,
As it may just be a bluff,
And i don't feel like I like these odds,
If y heart is going to be on the line.

I can't keep away,
I'm hooked,
Why can't I forget,
I don't want to say no,
But I can't let it go.

You said you needed someone,
So I was there again,
To try and pick up the pieces,
To try and rekindle our flame,
Of a love that was once broken,
Can be reborn again,
Because I loved you I let you go,
But know its time to hold you in my arms again,
As my love for you never went,
And now I hope you feel the same.

I don't know what's going on,
Every step seems harder,
As if there is more weight,
Do you expect me to be okay,
When you can see the pain,
As if it was written across my face.

I slipped,
I fell,
But you weren't there to hold me,
Alone again,
Feeling nothing but pain,
Your voice couldn't even smooth me,
I lashed out because you gave me no choice,
It was me or him,
I don't want you to leave,
But you don't want to stay,
I don't want to hold you,
If you love someone let them go,
If you love someone let them go,
If you love someone let them go,
But when they go,
They may never come back.

I can't define you,
As you are more than just a word to me,
You picked me up when I was down,
And turned my life around,
I don't what you are to me,
I don't think I ever will,
So I guess I'm just indecisive about you.

We live in a world,
That's run by suits,
That's run by Corporations,
And we never see the real picture,
we are all puppets on a piece string.

Taxation what is it good for,
When it goes to a government,
That doesn't represent us,
The people.  

Land, Resources,
Consumerism,
We are becoming more power hungry,
Whilst we are losing our values,
Our respect.

The world around.
How long can we live,
When this world of ours,
Is dying.

The power has always been in our hands,
We just have to realise that we have to use it.

I can feel you,
But I can't touch you,
It's as if you are on another level,
Whilst i'm stuck on square one,
Wondering what could happen,
What will happen,
We can't be open because that's who we are,
We care to much,
Does the risk outweigh the loss,
Because I'm going all in,
And all your doing is folding.

I was there when you were at your weakest,
Always their to pick up the pieces,
To you it was everything,
To me it was nothing,
I only did it to see you happy,
That was all the help that I needed,
We have now grown older,
Something has changed between us,
Like there is a spark,
That we've never felt before,
Question is will this spark turn into a fire?

Ugh
Lol
UghGHHAHHSBSIWNEIDNWLDVWKDBQLSBSLSHSBSOSHWODJJDKENEHENDS ******** emoji to the world

Your lie has transformed you,
You made a catfish of yourself,
Giving someone support and comfort,
when you were crumbling,
Now they've come to see the real you,
And has come to think that they are the problem,
When you now,
Was just the same you before,
The lie you span has come back around,
And now you're caught up in you're own web.

I'm not afraid of death,
Not anymore,
Because what do I have to lose,
If I didn't have anything to start with.

Life is full of possibilities,
But most of them all end in pain,
Look at the light at the end of the tunnel,
But you can never find the light,
When the tunnel is never ending.

We live in a world where people want to **** each other,
For religon for land or an ideology,
Then why aren't we called the animals,
Because we haven't evolved from them.

So when people say life has a purpose,
But purpose is only a two syllable word,
That makes people believe they have a reason to live,
But I don't want there to be a reason I just want to make a statement.

Isn't it funny,
How life goes,
In the blink of an eye,
Is it really worth trying so hard,
And not enjoying life for what it is,
I envy the animals they are so free,
They can live,
They don't have the struggles of finding a job,
They don't have to go through an education system thats clearly flawed,
They don't have the problems that we have put on ourselves,
I wish to be free.

Should I do it again,
Just for the thrill,
That buzz I got last time,
When everything felt so real,
And I felt so alive,
Maybe one last time.

I want to care for you,
But now the line is starting to blur,
Lust is overpowering me,
I can't hold back,
I don't think I can help myself,
I care and love you more than anyone will,
And all I want is the taste of your lips again.

Where is my mind,
I'm not dreaming,
But I'm not living,
Always taking one step forward,
Then two steps back,
I'm becoming lost in my own thoughts,
As my emotions are taking over,
I've never felt before,
As my Heart was always cold,
Know I feel the warmth,
I have lost myself.