I try to define you,
But there is no way I can anymore,
You bring joy,
You bring pain,
The word is edged into us all,
But no one knows what it means,
They only can feel.

You say you want me,
You say you need me,
You want me to have every part of you,
But you push me away,
There I stay,
Just as broken as your heart,
How Long will this last?

He brought the light to the night sky,
But like so many others,
Flaws turn into mistakes,
He fell from grace,
Took on his decent,
With that a door closed,
and another opened,
But now his name,
Isn't remembered for the gifts in the sky,
Instead it's a name of sin.

We have seen kingdoms rise,
Empires fall,
Ideologies grow,
Fear spread,
But with all this knowledge,
Comes so much failure,
As we keep on repeating the same mistakes.

I find myself alone,
Staring at the sky,
Watching the moon rise,
When it's dark I feel safe,
Comforted by the cold,
I like the silence,
But sometimes it's deafening,
When all you can hear,
Is the voice in your head.

You can feel me,
when we are no touching,
hear me,
when there are no words to be said,

You keep coming back to me,
you write my mind,
think what i think,
scribble at me when in pain,

Tear slowly at my heart,
tear slowly at my soul,
my life is just a book of pages,
waiting to be ripped apart.

Blank,
The thoughts in my head,
Slowly begin to fade,
With no sleep,
I don't know,
If this is a dream,
Or if it's reality,
I'm more lost then found,
Reaching for the light,
That begins to fade,
As the void covers my eyes,
And takes me deeper.

Drifting through,
Taken away by the stream,
Not knowing how far I've gone,
Or how to go back,
Vulnerable,
Lost,
Alone,
No path to go down,
Nowhere to go,
Slowly sinking,
Only when I've hit will I know,
how far I've drowned.

I can't walk out the door,
It just feels too good to stay,
One more hit,
One more drink,
One more drag.

But if I step away again,
what'll that achieve,
It won't make me happy,
So I go round in circles,
no better than a dog.

So watch me fall,
And see if I can get up again.

People scare me,
They feel so much,
When they know so little,
They try to control,
When they can't do it themselves,
Love or destruction,
Both are the same they just are different words,
One mans Hero is another ones villain,
With this mentality no wars can be won,
And now everything that's is done,
Can't be undone.

To someone dear,
Who warms my heart every time I see that smile,
I don't know what I would have done without you,
And where I would be if we didn't meet,
For saving me after my lowest point,
And for that I thank you so,
So please don't go,
As I don't think I could cope.

Forgive me lord,
For I have sinned,
Her touch I couldn't resist,
Her voice screaming out my name,
Echoing through my skull,
The warm embrace of her body on mine,
Touching,
Feeling,
As if nothing could stop the bond,
The tension,
And the passion that was between us,
So do I follow want my heart longs for,
Or what my soul needs.

I've never felt this way before,
When I'm with you,
I can actually feel my heart,
You make me feel alive,
Something that is actually real,
People notice somethings going on,
Are we to scared to say how we feel?

The scars on my body,
Dont represent my pain,
Or my suffering,
Beneath each one is a story,
Of how it took me to get here.

You can judge me about my choice,
But when you go to do it yourself,
It's all fine?

Why do you have to ***** about me,
When all I've ever done is helped you,
Is this what you call fair?

I don't have time for people who are fake,
Lying to my face every chance they get,
As life is to short.

Starting again,
It feels good,
There's something beautiful and exciting,
And if things go wrong I could always,
Start again.

Everything's the same,
There is no variation anymore,
Sleep,
Work,
Eat,
It's as if there is no substance,
That I have become what I hate,
Boring,
Alone,
Is there any point sometimes,
And when there is something,
Some form of petty connection,
I end up hurting them,
I get myself stuck in these awkward situations,
I just,
I just can't cope anymore,
Then I go into my own loop,
Of things I shouldn't do,
And an overwhelming arrogance,
Why do I bother?
Why am I here?

Am I distant,
I am in the room,
But I don't feel there,
I am speaking,
But the real words don't come out,
Do people recognize me,
If I die today,
Would anyone realize,
I'm trapped in my head,
Screaming to tell people how I feel,
I need help,
Help,
HELP!

Time goes fast,
We all see life,
In how much we have left,
However I'm looking forward,
Making a step at a time,
Living my life going forwards,
As if time was no object,
Live life in the moment,
Otherwise you won't spend your life living.

Every year,
Every month,
Every day,
Every hour,
Every minute,
Every second,
Time fades fast
The older I get,
The closer to death,
I fear I Haven't lived enough,
All I want with my time thats left,
Is to look at that smile on your face,
Because that is the moment I feel complete.

You are slowly losing  yourself,
But you don't see it,
I don't want to watch you fall apart,
But you just won't listen,
Every day it gets worse,
You won't let me help you,
Blocking me out,
When you realise,
I'll be gone.

Trust,
I thought I could share that with you,
But know,
I don't know if I can trust anyone,
Not even myself,

I feel like I'm the monster here,
Even though I didn't go back on my word,
If only you could see in my head,
You'll know why I feel as I do,
I can't trust myself around you,
And now I can't trust you.

From across the room,
I saw you and only you,
As if I could feel your heart beating,
But I realise it was mine,
Breathless there was no words to describe you,
As if only you and me were there,
Nothing else mattered,
The glint in your eye when you looked at me I knew,
This may be the one.

I Can't tell anymore,
If I am awake,
Or if I'm stuck in a dream,
I've got friends,
But I'm alone,
I'm enjoying myself,
But I'm sad,
When I get into things,
I'm go all in,
But some times,
It was never worth the risk,
I hate you,
I love you,
I'd be nothing without you,
But would I be,
If there are plenty of fish in the sea,
how significant is you and me,
There are different places we could be,
But girl you can't keep lying  to yourself,
Can't you see the effect it has on your health,
Waiting and see isn't an option for me,
I wish you could see,
But I've realized you are blind,
Just like me.

What do you think I'm going to do,
How do you think i'm going to feel,
I feel like I can't live without you,
I think about you most days,
And care one others shouldn't
But I think we need space,
To think and revaluate,
Before the friendship gets torn in two.

Something has changed,
We don't talk like we used to,
Hell do we even talk anymore,
It's like I'm the one who's done something wrong,
I was used,
So you could move on,
Someone low enough,
So you can feel good,
Well I cared,
Now I'm here,
Left to pick up the pieces.

I don't know where I'm at with you,
I don't know where I want to be with you,
I can tell how you feel around me,
What you think,
With you i'm lost

I'm most creative at my darkest,
The pain is what keeps me going,
Without it I would have no will no drive,
The smoke although slowly choking me,
Is elevating the stress,
Alcohol is numbing the pain,
Is this how i'm supposed to be?
Is this how i'm Supposed to live?
Live.
The word it has become funny,
As if it's my own personal joke,
As I don't feel alive.

I don't know what i'm doing

Have you ever noticed me,
The face behind the mask,
The side no one gets to see,
Are my feelings real,
Do I feel anything anymore,
Can you even see me,
My life is floating,
Whilst i'm falling.

I searched for myself,
Inside a bottle,
What came out,
Was something I couldn't face.

I drink to lose myself,
To find a way out from this pain,
But the pain keeps coming back,
And my souls not the same.

So pour me a double,
And watch me sink,
Because life isn't fun,
So hand me a drink.

You said you wanted to know me,
But can you handle the scars that lie underneath,
I don't like to say how I feel,
As it makes me vulnerable,
So I close myself up,
Like a safe,
With my feelings hidden from the world.

I feel trapped in this state,
Of complete obsession and infatuation,
As when I feel it is overwhelming,
I feel like shutting it all down.

I feel rage,
Like an internal fire,
Burning inside of me,
I believe in fate,
But why have you,
Put so many obstacles in my path,
Have you condemned me to eternal lust,
Wanting things I will never get,
What are you trying to tell me,
Why can't you tell me,
Why can't you help,
Is like one day the switch is on,
Then the next is closed,
I'm fed up with it.

What if I told you,
It was a drug,
Would you look at me differently,
Would you be disappointed,
Would you still care,
About someone who just falls back on his vices,
Getting high to numb the pain,
Would you?

On the outside,
I look like every over wall,
Strong and stable,
But really I'm broken,
I let people in,
So that they can confide in me,
Building their walls with my one bricks,
Piece by piece seeing myself fade,
I can't even recognise myself anymore.

When have I ever said I'm great,
And actually ever meant it,
Someday I'll wonder if I'll ever actually be alright,
It feels live I've capsized,
And can't get out,
I'm breaking myself down to build other people up,
It's feeling that there will be nothing left,
Emotions aren't felt,
Feeling weaker,
Is there even a point.

How did I get here,
Why am I so lost,
I can't get back,
But I can't just leave,
And I'm just being pulled back in,
When I really should just leave.

I can feel it happening,
The pain again,
It builds up,
To be let down,
It's as if it could never work,
But my words blur the message,
I can never be clear.

I've got my own life to live,
I'm gonna be the one to die,
When its time to die,
So let me live my own life.

How can I feel,
When I'm already broken,
How can I breath,
When there is no air,
How do I drink,
When there is no water,
How do I live,
Without you?

Am I always going to be like this,
Constantly longing,
For your touch,
Your Love,
When i'm around you,
I feel real,
Alive,
Soam I a fool to be in love with you?