You say you want me,
You say you need me,
You want me to have every part of you,
But you push me away,
There I stay,
Just as broken as your heart,
How Long will this last?

I want to tell you,
That you are beautiful,
I want to just pick you up,
and kiss you,
I want to feel,
The beat of your heart,
But I hold myself back,
Because you would never love me.

I searched for myself,
Inside a bottle,
What came out,
Was something I couldn't face.

I drink to lose myself,
To find a way out from this pain,
But the pain keeps coming back,
And my souls not the same.

So pour me a double,
And watch me sink,
Because life isn't fun,
So hand me a drink.

I can't walk out the door,
It just feels too good to stay,
One more hit,
One more drink,
One more drag.

But if I step away again,
what'll that achieve,
It won't make me happy,
So I go round in circles,
no better than a dog.

So watch me fall,
And see if I can get up again.

I Can't tell anymore,
If I am awake,
Or if I'm stuck in a dream,
I've got friends,
But I'm alone,
I'm enjoying myself,
But I'm sad,
When I get into things,
I'm go all in,
But some times,
It was never worth the risk,
I hate you,
I love you,
I'd be nothing without you,
But would I be,
If there are plenty of fish in the sea,
how significant is you and me,
There are different places we could be,
But girl you can't keep lying  to yourself,
Can't you see the effect it has on your health,
Waiting and see isn't an option for me,
I wish you could see,
But I've realized you are blind,
Just like me.

It's funny,
How one moment,
Can change everything,
And have a lasting impact,
On your relationships with people,
It's stupid.

How did I get here,
Why am I so lost,
I can't get back,
But I can't just leave,
And I'm just being pulled back in,
When I really should just leave.

1 Hour,
Freedom,
Where I could just be me,
No stress,
No restraints,
Just Nachos,
Fries,
And Garlic Bread.

When I'm gone,
Will anyone be there,
Will anyone care,
Would they even feel close,
To how I'm feeling right now,
There is an unspoken beauty to death,
There is tranquility,
There is peace,
No more worrying,
No  more problems,
Just silence.

Should I do it again,
Just for the thrill,
That buzz I got last time,
When everything felt so real,
And I felt so alive,
Maybe one last time.

Starting again,
It feels good,
There's something beautiful and exciting,
And if things go wrong I could always,
Start again.

I'm screaming on the inside,
I'm bleeding out from my eyes,
My breath has become heavy,
Gasping for more air,
Did you even care,
Because I've been played,
And you've reached the finish line,
Leaving me weak and alone,
The one person a cared about gone,
You didn't even want to try,
So if you ever read this,
You will know how you made me feel.

A lot can happen in a year,
As this time goes on,
You slowly start to change,
As every encounter,
Gives you a new perspective,
On how you perceive,
The world around you.

What are we?
You just fill my head,
With endless questions,
But always fail to mention,
What we are,
What we are doing.

You're not over it,
Over him,
So where does that put me?
I'm like the toy,
That you just build,
And slowly start to breakdown.

What should I do?
Should I just leave,
But then who would you have?
Who would I have?  

Will I ever be free of this torment,
It's like i'm stuck in this cage,
Waiting for you to set me free,
But you don't,
And I'm stuck,
Waiting,
Waiting,
Time has become my enemy,
Ticking down the days,
I don't want to do this anymore,
I just want it all to end,
I can't take it,
Maybe I should,
Who would actually care.

I'm most creative at my darkest,
The pain is what keeps me going,
Without it I would have no will no drive,
The smoke although slowly choking me,
Is elevating the stress,
Alcohol is numbing the pain,
Is this how i'm supposed to be?
Is this how i'm Supposed to live?
Live.
The word it has become funny,
As if it's my own personal joke,
As I don't feel alive.

I can't find it,
I can't feel it,
When your down,
I fell your pain,
You are what I bleed,
I was too busy looking for you,
In someone else,
When you where there all along.

I've never felt this way before,
When I'm with you,
I can actually feel my heart,
You make me feel alive,
Something that is actually real,
People notice somethings going on,
Are we to scared to say how we feel?

Everything's the same,
There is no variation anymore,
Sleep,
Work,
Eat,
It's as if there is no substance,
That I have become what I hate,
Boring,
Alone,
Is there any point sometimes,
And when there is something,
Some form of petty connection,
I end up hurting them,
I get myself stuck in these awkward situations,
I just,
I just can't cope anymore,
Then I go into my own loop,
Of things I shouldn't do,
And an overwhelming arrogance,
Why do I bother?
Why am I here?

You said you wanted to know me,
But can you handle the scars that lie underneath,
I don't like to say how I feel,
As it makes me vulnerable,
So I close myself up,
Like a safe,
With my feelings hidden from the world.

I feel trapped in this state,
Of complete obsession and infatuation,
As when I feel it is overwhelming,
I feel like shutting it all down.

He brought the light to the night sky,
But like so many others,
Flaws turn into mistakes,
He fell from grace,
Took on his decent,
With that a door closed,
and another opened,
But now his name,
Isn't remembered for the gifts in the sky,
Instead it's a name of sin.

I can feel it happening,
The pain again,
It builds up,
To be let down,
It's as if it could never work,
But my words blur the message,
I can never be clear.

I feel rage,
Like an internal fire,
Burning inside of me,
I believe in fate,
But why have you,
Put so many obstacles in my path,
Have you condemned me to eternal lust,
Wanting things I will never get,
What are you trying to tell me,
Why can't you tell me,
Why can't you help,
Is like one day the switch is on,
Then the next is closed,
I'm fed up with it.

First It was nothing,
But no friends could be so close,
She touches me,
In a way like no other,
But only as a friend,
That's what I thought anyway.

A while back,
She asks me,
Do you find me attractive?
I reply,
But before I answer,
She already knew what I was going to say,
As if she could tell in my eyes,
Then it was back to the same old,
touching and flirtatious gestures,
fir the rest of the night.

Then whilst sober,
She doesn't know how to think about me,
Then silence,
Silence,
S I L E N C E,
Nothing no word no peep.

We meet again,
She has a sadness in her eyes,
And I'm the void to fill her pain,
To make her laugh,
She asks the same question,
Do you find me attractive?
She grabs my arm then we stare into each others eyes,
We feel it but we have to resist,
But dogs will always chase cats,
And thats the way it is.

To you I say hello,
A new window,
To what was a closed door,
It's funny how the world works,
Things seem to point you into new directions,
As if it was a part of some grand plan.

Let me tell you something,
I'm scared,
Of myself,
My urges.

Someday I'm afraid,
I might take it to far,
Or lash out to hard.

I suppress who I am,
Because I'm scared,
No one likes me,
That no one cares.

I feel alone,
Most nights,
Most days.

I follow the crowd,
To hide myself,
I'm not an individual.

I wanted you to save me,
But you couldn't,
I fear I'm losing myself.

When I gave you,
a part of myself,
It was to show you,
How I feel.

But now there is this distance,
I hate it,
We used to be close,
But people change,
And so do feelings.

Something has changed,
We don't talk like we used to,
Hell do we even talk anymore,
It's like I'm the one who's done something wrong,
I was used,
So you could move on,
Someone low enough,
So you can feel good,
Well I cared,
Now I'm here,
Left to pick up the pieces.

I can't keep away,
I'm hooked,
Why can't I forget,
I don't want to say no,
But I can't let it go.

Am I distant,
I am in the room,
But I don't feel there,
I am speaking,
But the real words don't come out,
Do people recognize me,
If I die today,
Would anyone realize,
I'm trapped in my head,
Screaming to tell people how I feel,
I need help,
Help,
HELP!

What do you think I'm going to do,
How do you think i'm going to feel,
I feel like I can't live without you,
I think about you most days,
And care one others shouldn't
But I think we need space,
To think and revaluate,
Before the friendship gets torn in two.

How can I feel,
When I'm already broken,
How can I breath,
When there is no air,
How do I drink,
When there is no water,
How do I live,
Without you?

Deseo,
Puedo sentirte,
Más allá de las palabras,
No me importa lo que la gente piensa,
Todo lo que importa,
Es que me paso el tiempo con usted,
Como te veo en una luz que ningún otro puede.

I used to think you were my drug,
Hit it then quit it,
But I got addicted,
Now all I want is that *****,
The pure ecstasy I crave,
As I go deeper it only gets stronger,
I'm hooked,
And I don't want to come down,
I just want to feel as high as I do,
When i'm with you,
But supply and demand,
Isn't the same as it used to be,
When all I wan't is that hit.

I wanted it to be a reality,
But I was kidding myself,
It could never happen,
It will never change,
I am alone,
Once more,
Its not the idea,
It's the risk,
Whats more important,
Me being there,
Or not at all,
I guess it's out of my hands,
So i'll put myself back in the box,
And throw away the key.

I can feel you,
But I can't touch you,
It's as if you are on another level,
Whilst i'm stuck on square one,
Wondering what could happen,
What will happen,
We can't be open because that's who we are,
We care to much,
Does the risk outweigh the loss,
Because I'm going all in,
And all your doing is folding.

I don't know where I'm at with you,
I don't know where I want to be with you,
I can tell how you feel around me,
What you think,
With you i'm lost

Have you ever noticed me,
The face behind the mask,
The side no one gets to see,
Are my feelings real,
Do I feel anything anymore,
Can you even see me,
My life is floating,
Whilst i'm falling.

I'm conflicted,
I want it to be a reality,
I want to see how it turns out,
As this could be something good,
But I wouldn't know what we would do,
If we lost each other,
so tell me what to do.

I'm alive,
Yet I am not there,
My mind wandering,
People talking,
But it's just background noise,
I wonder does this make them feel alive,
Are they truly there,
Is anything real,
Am I real?

I find myself alone,
Staring at the sky,
Watching the moon rise,
When it's dark I feel safe,
Comforted by the cold,
I like the silence,
But sometimes it's deafening,
When all you can hear,
Is the voice in your head.

I feel cold,
Cold to touch,
Cold inside,
My senses are becoming numb,
My world is turning darker and darker,
Until I am one with the void.

I needed space,
So I could find myself,
Support myself for once,
Instead of holding other people,
One could say im selfish,
But I need to fix myself,
Before I can help anyone else.

Everyone is made of glass,
Some are durable than others,
But we are all fragile.

I don't know what i'm doing

You can judge me about my choice,
But when you go to do it yourself,
It's all fine?

Why do you have to ***** about me,
When all I've ever done is helped you,
Is this what you call fair?

I don't have time for people who are fake,
Lying to my face every chance they get,
As life is to short.

Isn't it funny,
How life goes,
In the blink of an eye,
Is it really worth trying so hard,
And not enjoying life for what it is,
I envy the animals they are so free,
They can live,
They don't have the struggles of finding a job,
They don't have to go through an education system thats clearly flawed,
They don't have the problems that we have put on ourselves,
I wish to be free.

The more time I spend,
The more I talk,
The fear that the spark will fade,
That we will grow apart,
And you won't like me,
As I like you.