I spend my time living for you
I spend my time watching you smile
And then you turn to me
And the smile is gone.

I know I can't make you happy
But
I try anyway.

I don't know what I did
To make you so hateful
I don't know what I did
To make you so mean
But I love you
I can't stop
I never will

You were born to love me
And I to love you
But you don't.
It hurts
But
I take it
Not silently
But I take it.
I love you more than anything
I wish you could see that

One day
They say
You will realize you love me
The hating will stop and you will run to me
I'm waiting.
I have always loved you
Since you were born
I have loved you
I'm waiting
For you to love me.

Lost in almosts
And hovering in flight
Not sure where to land

Reaching for you,
And still not sure if you're there
But willing to fall
Because you're worth it.

I would like to cry
And scream
And wave my arms in the air
To get you to see me drowning
But I know it's easier
to just drown for you

Loving you is the hardest thing I've ever done
But its the most worth while thing I've ever done
I hadn't wanted to live before you
Hadn't had a reason to sing before you
And even if I never have you,
I do.
In my heart.

Pinpricks on my arm
Tiny pinches making me want to turn
I know they're there
And I know what I'll find
But I don't want to find anything
I want everything to stay how it is.
It can't

The pinpricks on my arm
Are getting stronger.
They're piercing now.
Urgent.
Still
I stare at you
Smiling,
Taking in your beautiful face
Knowing it's not so beautiful on the inside
I pretend I don't know
And so do you

The pinpricks aren't pinpricks anymore
They're knives stabbing me
How much pain will I go through to live my wishful reality?
Finally, I can't bare the pain anymore
I turn to see the problem
Face the facts
Find the truth

You were a lie
The way I knew you were
The pinpricks were warnings
Subtle harmonies
Hiding within the melodies
This harmony was an ugly one
Dissonant.
And then the melody wore off
And the harmony was the only thing left.

So I left
The world is full of melodies;
We are all our own.
But everyone is someone's harmony
Either creating
Ugly
Flat
Out of key
Songs
Or creating music
Mocking Beethoven
And doing a good job of it.

You weren't my harmony
Nor I yours
I take my heart and leave.

Once,
In a far of land,
Across a million galaxies,
A man died.
He was extraordinary,
But far from home,
And no one understood his last words.
They were:
"I don't know you,
Right now all I know is pain.
But I hope that you will remember me.
You see,
I have a life,
Far from here,
Galaxies away,
And I need them to know I'm okay."
The words were lost in translation,
Never to be heard,
And never to reach the man's home world.

Not everyone can be remembered,
And not everyone is heard.
Some die
Some live
Some disappear
And some are forgotten.
The man's family searched
For him,
But eventually they gave up.
Then soon,
They died too.
The man's words
Were lost
And insignificant,
Only important to him.

We are all lost in galaxies
Far from our own
Venturing in to our own
Unknown.
Our last words might never be heard
Or maybe they will.
Are words
Important if not understood?
Lost in translation
Might just be all we have.

Since you haven’t seemed to notice
This is my formal pronouncement of love
I have stood by you
I have supported you
I have laughed at all your jokes in front of the people you try to impress
I have loved you since the day that I have met you
And I have not asked for anything in return.
This is me trading in all of my chips at the same time
I am ready for you to love me back,
In fact I have waited for you to love me back,
So I am not asking;
I am telling
Love. Me. Now.
I have gone unappreciated
And unkissed
And now that is over.
Because.
I demand.
Love. Me. Now.

I live for the days that you look at me
Some recognition that you know I exist.
It's not always worth it
Loving you

But then you smile
Or laugh
And I know
Its worth it.

Even if you never see me,
Or never learn my name
I know yours,
And I won't forget it anytime soon.

I live for you
And its scary,
Because you don't know I live at all

But its okay.
Becaue I somehow survive.
And its okay.

Pretty girl,
You are not a Barbie.
You are not a bleach blonde plastic object to be dressed up and toyed with.
Pretty girl,
You are not a balloon.
You are not meant to be filled up and emptied or popped.
Pretty girl,
You are not scratch card.
You are not meant to be scratched open and apart
People looking for answers and joy within you.
Pretty Girl,
You are a human being.
You are meant to be flawed and scarred and to watch movies on a Saturday night alone.
Your body is meant to be a temple
It is not meant to be judged for its sexiness by
Teenaged boys who have no idea what the world is made out of.
A size 16 and a double zero have the same claim to happiness
Without stepping outside their house and feeling like there is no place for them there.
Pretty girl,
You are a pretty girl.
And there is pride in that.

Let's go to the sea.
Let's swim and have a picnic on the sand.
Take every day one by one.

Let's close our eyes forever,
And just lay side by side.

Let's not talk,
Let's just be in love.
Yes, I said it,
I love you.

But all these fantasies
Just sit in my head
Untouched
By anyone.

No one knows that I long for the day
We will sit on a beach
Hand in hand

My secrets belong in my mind.

I know that you see me.
I know, because I count the times you look at me.
Begging for the smile or the glance
That responds to the bad joke I made behind you.
I spend too much time penciling my eyebrows,
And I say your name when I can
To see if you turn or laugh.
I am not the quiet damsel that needs to be saved from a dragon
In fact, I would probably be too embarrassed to ask for help.
But I will be the one to tell you that elephants cry
And that the world is not as big as it seems
And that I love it when you smile.
I want you to know that I knit
And that I dance to ***** music
And I am not hard to get.
I am not the beauty that needs to be chased after.
I am the odd looking bird off the side of the road
That may not be a soft decoration but more of a device of entertainment
Reminding you of what a life it could be.
I will ****** you with my knowledge of Star Trek and Doctor Who.
I am constantly lost, needing to be found because I forgot to charge my phone.
I am a girl with many faces, and smiles and opinions
I am a girl who plays it tough.
I am a girl who is not quiet.
Rather, I am a girl who is quite loud.

Your eyes were the first thing I saw
Standing out like crystals
Blue like the sky
And clear
Your eyes held hope
And I could tell they had seen
The world
Pain
And loss.

I had been sad
I had been happy
I had never been in love
You took my sadness and made it yours
I took yours and made it mine
We were happy together.
Your eyes held me.
Clear and blue
Old and strong

Today you stopped loving
You disappeared into a black void
I can never love you again.
I tried to hold l your sadness
And make it mine
But there was so muck.
Like a single sponge verses an entire ocean
You loved me
But you realized I couldn't fix you
So you left
This world
Bleeding
In pain
All over your bathroom floor.

Your blue eyes in tears
Scarred by what they saw
And never to hold me again.