I knew it was too good
To be true.
How could somebody like me
Deserve someone like you?
I now see I have worn
You to the bone,
Your eyes dim where
They once shone.
I'm to selfish and
I'm too greedy
To let you go because
I'm just that needy.
I'll hold onto you
Until you push me away
And even then I'll
Unevenly whisper "stay".

Your beautiful blue eyes
Once holding fathomless love
Now show I'm not at all
What you dreamed of.

How could I be as good
As you thought?
Now you can see all I have
Inside me is rot.

Kissing me leaves your
Tongue bitter,
And all you can think of is
"I've got to quit her."

Its okay,
I understand.
I'll always fall asleep
Holding my own hand.

You changed into something
Harder,
Something
Colder.

Something
     Almost
                  Out
                          Of
                                Reach.

I still cling to you
But it gets harder for you
To answer my texts
And to pick up the phone
Every day.

I still need you
But it gets harder for you
To kiss me back
And need me too.

You, you are not all there.
I am wearisome.

And I have worn you down
To the bone.

I feel my life
Moving on without me
Because I'm stuck in the past
In stuck on the way she kissed me
I'm stuck on the way he held me

Im stuck in the way she left me
Im stuck in the way he criticized me

Help me I'm so stuck
I'm drowning in my emotions
And Khayllia is my sinking lifeboat

12-14: Jacob Harris.
14-16: Mykayla Bradshaw.
16: Raymond Crawford.
16: Gin Berry.
16: Mickaela Maxwell.
17-present: Khayllia Harrell.

I gave Jacob my Innocence.
I gave Mykayla my Trust.
I gave Ray my Self-esteem.
I gave Gin my Confidence.
I gave **** my Hope.
I am giving Khayllia my Brokenness.

Sometimes
I dont even want to live
Each breath hurts my lungs
Labored and uneasy

And some days
I can feel my heart
Shrinking and
Turning into stone

I remember bursting
With life to the point
I felt I was going to
Tear out of my own skin

Now I feel I've shrunk
To my lungs and hurting heart
Because that's all I can feel

I had to physically and
Emotionally rip myself away from you.

I knew you were trouble
In the back of my mind

The first time I said I love you too
You kept on walking
And didn't stop.

The last time I said I love you too...
I can't even remember it.

I remember forcing myself
To date someone else
To stay away from you.

I remember you holding me
A week later as I cried
For the death of our love.

You sat there and I almost kissed you.
Our lips were touching.
But they never puckered.

I could feel her all over you.
It made me sick to my stomach
For months.

I'd get weak, hate my rebound.
Text you.
I don't think you ever knew
How much I needed you.

How much I wasn't over you.

Which is okay. Your rebound
Turned out to be the love of
Your life and your gateway drug.

Have fun dreaming of a better life
And forgetting about anything
Once your mouth connects with
A **** pipe,

You ***** lying selfish *****.

I hate the way I write.
The way I smile and laugh.
I hate my arms.
I hate my legs.

I think about tracing
My stretch marks with a razor
Because I'd rather have scars
Than stretch marks.

I think about scrubbing my back
Until it bleeds and my skin
Is down to its last layer.

I think about not eating
Until my stomach is
So empty all the air in it
Is what keeps me standing.

I think about the new me I could
Invent
With a more alluring look
And sure walk.

When I look in the mirror
All I see is fatfatfatfatfat.
Spilling over my jeans.
Resting on my thighs
When I sit.
Sitting underneath my chin
When I smile.

My upper arms are full of fat.
My shoulders as well.
I'm hunched over.

Crouching.

Embarrassed.