Everything is fine
Until you pop into mind.
In a casual thought
Or a dream so vivid
I can almost touch you
Why?
When he has done so much to help me heal from you
But you are still here to taunt me in my mind
You were the thing I wanted, but could never have in the end
In my dreams, he taught me many things
He let me laugh
He never disregarded my heart
Or payed more attention to himself
He let me do things you never would have accepted with ease.
But still, we always go back to those who cage us in
As much as we realize it is not for the best
We still subconsciously want it
Because we get used to our cage
It is home

the oddness of your lips stained across my chest
unable to move
flawed
by the blood that flows there
my frantically beating heart
gives me away to how humane i have become next to you
i have lost my wild
thorn filled hair now hangs lifeless at my side
and the electricity that i once felt at your touch
has been dimished
i am in love with the idea of you
the thought
that i may not roam forever alone and free
is equally as terrifying as being with you
part of my hate for the way you are able to penetrate my iron wall
is also the reason why i am unable to forget you
yet i stand here
frozen
where you left me last
and i remember how hard your heart beat too
i could not fathom that i would be the one stuck
while you are able to move so freely
for i am the breaker of hearts
and yet
here i stand
the jagged edges of my heart protruding from my chest
hungry to devour another
so that i might heal from their pain
and one day
when i am free again
i will look back on this moment
and run
blindly
through the forest
allowing the wilderness to consume me
haunted
by your beating heart

I apologize for bein me at times, causing your emotions to drain, committing relationship crimes, and causing you pain.
I have turned your sunny days, into gloomy skies, and I wish that was just a phrase, but I have lied, made you cry and for that I apologize.
Too long I've made you wait, to become the man you deserve, should have already met him before stepping up to the plate, but my own mind gets on my nerve.
The cliche states that it's mind over matter, which for a child is a great start, preparing them for the inevitable shatter, of dealing with a broken heart.
I gather the pieces off the ground, and put them in their place, not realizing what could have been taken.
Understanding what has been found, the genuine smile to grace my face, HE whispered Jonathan you're still an angel in the makin.

he speaks a language I don't know.
words I can not distinguish.
what is to guess?
if I might be... maybe he wanders
in love with you?
I say out loud
words are said, so I continue
every day, I try to speak.
I didn't have time,
he cut me off the line
with an unexpected kiss.

I laugh, I cry, I even cuss
I throw the words out in the lust.
you have to stay, don't go away.
Embrace me like in the first day.
I am not lost,
Remember that...
I've found you out in the dust
You're hurting and seamed lost.
I care, I kiss, I even love.
But in the end
You choose to die.
You choose to go away
'cuz you don't have for what to stay.