I'm so done with the worthless arguments
And the childish petty fights
I am finished being blamed for it all
I am not selfish
You have me wrong
I was a fool to think you'd ever be mature
The way you act like a **** on purpose
And your vindictive manner and combative spirit
Is more than a turn off
Hanging around you only brings tension
You were supposed to be my lover
You were supposed to be my best friend
Now you're just my enemy
It's exhausting trying to keep up with you
Everything is wrong, no matter what I do
You twist and turn nothing into something it was never intended to be
I'm sick of being thought of as always angry
It's just getting to be impossible to make you happy
I don't believe I can continue walking in your shadow
With your hurtful and harmful words beating down on me
Day after day
Night after night
Give it a rest already
Not everything is a fight

It's funny the way life changes
And how
Once before, all my thoughts were consumed by you
But now
You never even cross my mind

Her eyes speak wonders
Her voice is so mysterious
I tremble every time I hear it
The feeling must be love

I watch her sip hot mint tea
She takes a drag from her cigarette
And the smoke is released, escaping passed her lips
I'm jealous of the contact they share

She looks at me with her deep gaze
Whispers how she loves me under her breath
I want to pick her up and take her away
Claim her for me and make her stay

I love just watching her in plain sight
She's so lovely to me that nobody else could suffice
This isn't a phase, no, this is real
She has everything I want, all the appeal

I am captivated at best
She's my ultimate distraction unlike the rest
I tremble every time I see her
The feeling must be love

When you're not here
I have trouble falling asleep
But when you're next to me
That problem disappears
My eyes close with ease
You are my dream
I dream of you
My everything

What would you do
If I reached out to you
Not for the first time
But also not the last time
Previously, you've been cruel to me
All for no good reason
And it's made me see you differently
I wanted to think that you had a good soul
I'm hoping you prove me wrong
If I come back once more
We don't have to fight
We can keep it between ourselves
I just long to speak with you again
Know who you are, maybe become friends
It's childish to continue avoiding me
When we used to be very close
And preferred each other's company
I want to get to know you
And I'm not hesitant to try
But do you really deserve it?
All you did was lie
I'm wondering now what your reaction will be
If I try to revisit what happened between you and me
Will you attack me with anger and disdain
Will you ignore me and solely cause me more pain
Or will you answer and begin to apologize
Allow us to move on instead of dramatize
The situation at hand could be better
It's in your control and all up to you
We used to work so well together
Don't forget how you wrote me a poem or two
They were about love rather than hate and doom
I know you must think back on those days
So when I reach out I hope to find
That you've changed your ways

I've cut myself four times the past two days
For the first time ever
And I never understood why or how cutters became cutters
I thought it would never be me
But now I understand
When you're in such pain
When you're experiencing depression
You reach such a low point
And the first time you try it
It hurts, it stings
But then you see the blood
And it's like a wave of clarity comes over you
You see the blood and it makes you smile
The first smile you've had on your face in a while
There is something about seeing the blood
And seeing the scar
That makes your pain real
That makes you feel validated
And you cry as you swipe the blade across
But then the cut is made
And suddenly, your eyes dry up
You're able to breathe again
It's addicting

Without your pathetic and pitiful web of lies
I finally feel I can live my life
I'm free from the garbage that fills your mind

i won't forget the way you left me
and i won't forget the way you threw our friendship to the ground
nearly 7 years strong
it was all for nothing
i guess i wasted my time believing you and wanting you for all those years
i guess i wasted my time sticking up for you and defending you
when even your own brother warned me of your childlike personality
not to mention your mother and father
grow up
no relationship is perfect
every friendship has its ups and down
it's only the strong and the willing who stick with it no matter how much it hurts
and no matter how much it frustrates the mind
you are weak
you are stupid
you are inexperienced
clearly you know nothing about what a true relationship entails
it takes hard work, devotion, dedication
it takes two people working through the horrible times
to make it out on the other side
you have lost me forever, since you threw me away
it seems so easy for you to just toss me aside
i hope you realize what you have done
i will never forgive you
you aren't willing to fight for me or us
the way i was willing to fight and wait for the right time
the time when we could have been happy
but you ruined it

I'm sorry I wasted so much time in our relationship being a *****
I hope she realizes the type of man she's got
I hope she sees what an incredibly intelligent guy you are
I hope she treats you with respect
I hope she understands the way you work
I hope she is able to read you the way I could
I hope she makes you happy
I hope she cooks your favorite foods
I hope she likes the music you do and can make you laugh
I hope she doesn't care that you enjoy the occasional ****
I hope she enjoys that with you the way I did and do
I hope she loves you as deeply and as passionately as you deserve to be loved
I hope she knows that to have you is a privilege, a high honor
I hope she's the one and makes you happy
I'm feeling terrible and sorry that it couldn't be me
I'll miss you probably forever and a day
Wishing it could've always stayed that way
Wondering now where things went wrong

You look at others and pass such judgment
Yet you never take the time to look at yourself

When you love someone
And you make them cry
Nothing is worse
I'd rather die

I deluded myself into thinking
That you were the only one for me
But I couldn't have been more wrong
I was blind but now I see

You're nothing special
Nothing compared to what I need
I give you my all
And you take the life right out of me

It's such a shame
How the wasted feelings left me empty
I always have faith in everything
Including the things that hurt me

I suppose it's time to change my ways
To stop believing in things that are hopeless
And instead live my life with clarity and peace
I'll move on and grow from this