Emily

Emily May 2014

Light

I lay in this warm bed
Yet all I feel is cold
I guess I have a few friends
But all I manage to feel is alone

Why does it seem
That everything I do is wrong
I can never make you believe
That I've loved you for so long

Why do you ignore me
When I've never left you in the dark
It makes me feel so lonely
And like we share no spark

I feel like I'll never be enough
My love doesn't seem to mesmerize you
I'm afraid to say that I'm not that tough
And without us, I wouldn't know what to do

You get me through the day
You comfort me in the night
I only hope that you don't go astray
And that you continue to be my light

Emily May 2014

Sleepless Nights

Sitting next to you on the couch
Has never felt as it does now
I long to be close to you
And feel your warmth
I long to hold your hand
And kiss your neck
I'm so confused in this sea of love
A tidal wave of emotion
I can't figure out just what I want
One day, I cling to you
The next day, I repel
I don't know what to do
I'm in my own personal hell
I want the clarity that I seek
I want a sign to tell me what's right
So I can be free of these sleepless nights

Emily May 2014

Summer

The leaves are vibrant
Green the color of bright eyes
The sun leaves a mark

Haiku

© Emily 2014

Emily May 2014

Unattractive

I'm the epitome of unattractive
The definition of ugly
I have a round stomach
My legs touch
My **** sag
My hair is thin and frail
My teeth aren't pearly white
I'm pale and my eyes are shallow
Brown with no depth or color
*** is an impossible task
When there is so much fat
Separating my body from the other
*** is an impossible task
When I'm only thinking about my body
Rather than feeling the passion and heat
*** is an impossible task
When I won't allow anybody to see me
A terribly ugly body resides
Underneath the loose jeans
And oversized shirts
I'm the epitome of unattractive
I'm more than just ugly
I'm more than just fat
I'm morbidly obese
I'm disgustingly put together
Nobody could want me
There is no question
Only an answer
The answer is no
No, I am not wanted
No, I am not desired
No, I am not beautiful
No, I will never be ****
I'm the epitome of unattractive

Emily May 2014

Certitude

The truth may hurt
But the good that comes out of it
Trumps all pain
Bring it on, I'm ready for it
As long as it clears up the mess in my head
The unanswered questions
And the confusing lies
Will all be resolved with the truth in time
Certitude will help me to heal
All the ideas that I thought were real

Emily May 2014

Must Be Love

Her eyes speak wonders
Her voice is so mysterious
I tremble every time I hear it
The feeling must be love

I watch her sip hot mint tea
She takes a drag from her cigarette
And the smoke is released, escaping passed her lips
I'm jealous of the contact they share

She looks at me with her deep gaze
Whispers how she loves me under her breath
I want to pick her up and take her away
Claim her for me and make her stay

I love just watching her in plain sight
She's so lovely to me that nobody else could suffice
This isn't a phase, no, this is real
She has everything I want, all the appeal

I am captivated at best
She's my ultimate distraction unlike the rest
I tremble every time I see her
The feeling must be love

Emily May 2014

Waiting For The Day

It's impossible to hide from me
You can never escape me
You led yourself to this place
You filled yourself with doubt and hate
It's time for you to face the consequences
Step up to the plate and pay the expenses
What you did was wrong but forgivable
Why you still choose to live this way is pitiful
Don't you want to go by your real name
Stop living your life with embarrassment and shame
Maybe coming clean will rid you of your sorrow
Help you wake up every morning and look forward to tomorrow
But don't try and hide from me
I'll be watching you forever, you see
I'm waiting for the day you finally drop the act
Then everyone will see the truth and have to adapt